My Poor Pumpkin!

This morning I was supposed to meet with a girl, her fiance, and their four year old about babysitting for them. So I'm cleaning the house and getting ready and Clarity keeps laying in the middle of the floor. I figured she was just having a hard time getting up and moving.. which isn't unusual for her. I did ask her if she was sick and she looked at me and said "uh huh". I still brushed it off... she wasn't running a fever or anything so I kept doing what I was doing. Well I hear Ariel call me, "mama! Clarity is sick! She just threw up!". So I go into their play room (the only room with carpet of course) and see a huge splatter of throw up. Then there's another one in the kitchen. Clarity's not crying (Thank goodness...I was afraid she'd hit freak mode since this is her first time really throwing up) but she's walking in circles spitting and has a horrible face. The first thing I did before cleaning it was I called that girl and left her a message. She's newly pregnant and I didnt want to expose her or her four year old to a stomach virus. Lord knows no one wants to deal with that. I dont know if I'll hear from her again or not but that doesnt matter. It would have been nice to make some money but my priority right now is my sick baby girl. She's been sleeping on the loveseat most of the day but actually woke up to eat lunch so fingers crossed it stays down! I'm also hoping none of the rest of us get it. I guess that would be one way to bring on labor.. but I really dont want to go that route. lol.

Oh I wanted to post pics of some of the stuff we bought for the baby last weekend.

Here's the Rainforest Playpen with bassinet. It plays music, has a nightlight, a mobile and all that stuff. Plus it's cute!

And here is the carseat. We got a graco

snugride in Jungle adventure. It has these cute lions, hippos, giraffes, and alligators on it.

I'm having trouble finding a pic of the diaper bag we got. It's a big brown Classic Pooh one. It has the older version of Pooh and Piglet on it and it's sooo cute but guy enough that Jesse will carry it around. Plus it has tons of room! I'm sure I'll get around to taking real pics of the stuff we bought as soon as it's all ready. We still havent set anything up yet. Not sure why we're wating.

Well my heart is pounding. Clarity just came in crying about her foot. I look at it and it was bright red and looked like she was having a bad reaction of some sort. So immediately I'm grabbing her up and examining her feet wondering if I should make my call to Jesse to come home or 911. She stopped crying and it went away so I'm wondering if she stood in front of one of our heaters and that made it all red. I swear nothing makes you worry like your babies! She's fine now. Her and Ariel are laying in the living room on the blankets Heather made for them (which are soooo cute and soft! I need to get pics of those too) and they are watching the Backyardigans.

Clarity ate two helpings of chicken and dumplings and drank a whole glass of chocolate milk. I wanted her to take it easy and eat a bit and drink water... but nope... not her. She was hungry! lol. So far so good. I'm saying my prayers!

Thought I should add

A complete tragedy. Prayers and thoughts are with his family, friends and loved ones. We'll miss you Heath!!

More on this past weekend...

Since I had my big pregnancy whine party, I'll talk about the girls and what we did this past weekend. We took them to Chuck E Cheese this past Sunday since we got out of David's Bridal and having dinner a bit late. Of course I forgot my darn camera at home and didn't get any pics, so that figures! The place was a madhouse. Linda, Ricky and Brittany stopped in to see the girls for a bit and they loved that! They also loved seeing Lori and David over the weekend. Ariel said she remembered David and we talked about how he was a police.. that's her big thing now.. she wants to be a police. lol. Lori is being so sweet about letting both of the girls be flower girls in the wedding. I can't wait to see it.. I bet it will be so cute. She picked the most adorable dresses for them to wear. They looked like little Cinderellas when we had them try them on! Beautiful! Ariel's excited for the wedding.. she keeps asking me how many tomorrows away it is. Hopefully both of the girls will be happy and cooperative on May 3rd and the wedding will go off perfectly. I'm sure it will be gorgeous. I'm looking forward to it! Since I didnt have a wedding, I'll live vicariously through Lori. lol.

Tired and Done!

Well this pregnancy WAS flying by... now each minute seems to just tick tick tick. 37 weeks and 2 days. It's getting really difficult now. Nausea is back in full force and I never feel like eating. I asked my doctor about it and she said it's completely normal and sometimes it's just easier to throw up. I dont want to! Been there, done that, and dont want to look back! Also found out the baby is posterior. Wonderful! This means it's back is facing my back instead of the other way around like it's supposed to. She said if it doesnt turn, it probably will during labor but this makes labor long, painful, and difficult. It also means bad back labor.. which I pray I dont have to suffer through because I HATE back pain. yay! Should have known I wouldnt have a breezy labor like I did with the girls. The whole pregnancy has been a pain in my butt! lol. I guess we'll see how things go within the next few weeks.



Jesse and I did get our carseat, playpen/bassinet, diaper bag and a few sleepers while we were in Asheville this past weekend. So we're ready enough! lol. For some reason buying this stuff made it hit me that this is really happening. Jesse of course thought I was crazy but I was nearly having a panic attack thinking about it. There is no turning back. I'm going to be a mama to three. Crazy!



We had a fun weekend. It was nice seeing Lori and David. This is the dress I ended up picking out for my bridesmaid dress. It comes with optional spaghetti straps. I guess I'll decide if I'll wear them or not once I get it altered and see how it looks both ways. I love this dress.. at first I wasn't sure about it, but it really is pretty! I'm glad Lori picked a gorgeous color too. I love it!

So ready... so not!

36 weeks and one day... and the countdown is on. I'm almost to the full term mark of 37 weeks but that doesnt mean much to me. lol. Ariel came at 39 weeks and 3 days and Clarity came at 40 weeks and 1 day so I don't consider myself a candidate for going much earlier than that anymore. Jesse told me that was a silly way of thinking... I think he's paranoid. It's sneaking up on him. lol.

We still havent even gotten a carseat or the bassinet yet... so if I were to go early, we'd be in trouble. I think he wants to go back to Target this weekend while we're in Asheville and pick up the stuff we were looking at last weekend. So not only are we not ready for this baby to come in that aspect, I'd like to get the house totally ready and get our taxes done (OMG that is a chore and a half and I HATE it).

My 36 week appointment was yesterday and went okay. As good as could be expected anyways since they had to do the strep B test. I'll find out next Monday if that came out positive or not.. knowing my luck this pregnancy it probably did. lol. I'm still gaining weight (ugh that can stop anytime now, I'm at 130 lbs) and my blood pressure was good. Baby is head down still but high (big surprise.. I could have told her that being I can barely breathe all the time). No dialation yet but she said my cervix is soft. Maybe we'll have some progress soon. Well even that wouldnt mean much... lol.. I was dialated 3 cm for over 3 weeks with Clarity and she still made her appearance a day late! Stinker!

Ariel's birthday was terrible! Clarity decided to be an escape artist and snuck out the door (I always check the latch as soon as I get up, but that morning, I just forgot). Anyways I realize the door was open and go flying outside to see a red car with some lady asking Clarity where her mama was. I scoop up clarity and the lady starts screaming at me what a horrible mother I was, how dare I let my baby run the streets and that was a good way to get her killed. As if I wasn't beating myself up over it already! I felt if she were about to stone me. It was an accident. A stupid one on my part.. but that's what it was. I spent the entire day and most of the night (I think I stopped at midnight) crying and feeling horrible. We were supposed to take Ariel out to Chuck E cheese that night but since I was so depressed we waited until the next day. We did end up having a lot of fun and I took some super cute pics with the digital... but yesterday I realized Ariel had gotten it down to take "her" pictures and deleted them all! I'll have to take them back this Saturday. Jesse, the girls and I are meeting Lori in Asheville to go to Davids Bridal and try and find me a bridesmaids dress and get the girls fitted for their flower girl dresses. I'm looking forward to it.. just hope I can find something that looks decent on me!

Worry and stress

They suck! Badly! I dont know if it's the pregnancy or what but I will wake up in the wee hours of the morning with my mind racing about all the different things in my life I'm worried about. Money...bills.. and lately... Ariel starting kindergarten! I know it's not until August but I'm dreading it. I won't be there for my baby and it kills me that I won't know what's going on with her. If she's being picked on, if she's sad, if she doesn't understand something. She keeps asking me how long until she starts because she's nervous and not ready to go. Her being worried about it makes me worried about it. Will she adjust okay? She's such a mama's girl and even though she's a total tomboy, she's super sensative too. God it just kills me I'm stressing out over all of this already!

She's going to be five tomorrow *cry*. It's just hitting me how fast the past five years have gone by. I look at pictures of her as a newborn.. a toddler.. and now a gorgeous little girl and I just break down. Why do they have to grow so fast? Why can't I just slow it down? Life just seems to breeze by once you have a child. I wanted to just curl up and cry last night realizing every year they get older is a year Jesse and I are getting older. I just pray to God I have a long, long time to spend with these beautiful people God has blessed me with.

Okay *deep breath* I need to dry my tears and get my face cleared up before Ariel realizes I'm upset. Right now she's outside playing in the snow. Yes, snow! We got a couple of inches last night and she's having a blast. I let her play out for a few minutes then bring her in to get her warmed up.. then she's back out again. She's thrilled.

Okay I definately must go now. Clarity just walked in and appearently little miss got into the nesquick powder. Her face and hands look like she's been playing in mud! Time for a bath! Thank God I have these angels to cheer me up when I feel worry and stress getting the best of me.

34 weeks 2 days

and I am so over this pregnancy crap! lol. This time around has been unbelievably difficult compared to Ariel & Clarity. A few weeks ago I woke up with this horrible sharp pain right under my sternum and I could hardly breathe let alone move. That dang pain lasted from 5 am until 3 pm. It stopped right as I was deciding I had suffered enough and was going to the ER. I was worried it was a gallbladder attack. But it hasn't returned... THANK GOD.

I did have to go to the ER the other night. My ankle had been hurting (felt like a sprain even though I hadn't done anything to it) for a few days. Well when the pain started moving up into my calf I started looking it up online and worried myself sick that I had DVT. So we went to the ER.. rather be safe than sorry...and they did an ultrasound to make sure there were no blood clots. All was clear so that was a huge relief. Just another crappy effect this baby is having on my body.

I am a total whiner! I'll be glad to have this baby just so I dont hear myself. I hate whiners. I hate crybabies.. and yet that's all I'm doing lately. Gah! Just a few more weeks!

On a bright note.. my last doctor appointment went well. I'm up to 128 lbs so she was happy about that. Baby's head is down. They are not doing another ultrasound (boo!) because they said my uterus has been measuring right on for being due Feb 18th. They said they'll use caution though and if I go into labor around 37 weeks (please God let it happen.. lol) even though that's full term for the Feb. date they'll have me have the baby in Asheville just in case because they have a neonatal unit. If I go a week past Feb. 18th.. I get induced. So either way it's happening next month. It can't happen soon enough for me!