EXHAUSTED

That word doesn't even touch how I feel. I feel more like zombi-ish. Is that a word? Well if not, it is now. Clarity has spent several nights of this week waking up crying... about every few minutes. At least once an hour. I would ask her, "Are you sick? Are you hurting? Do you have to go to the bathroom? Are you scared? Did you have a bad dream?" and I'd always get a head shake no. I was beginning to get so mad. I was wondering if these were night terrors and I'd just have to never sleep again until she had outgrown them. I was beyond frustrated not knowing what was wrong with her. She had a cold so I thought maybe the congestion had something to do with it. I hate to admit I was so mad. Mad that she wouldn't tell me what was wrong. Mad that I was losing so much sleep. Mad that I didn't know how to help her. My mood was really beginning to suck and this was draining me. I was starting to feel sluggish and sick.

Yesterday Claire Bear wouldn't smile at all. HIGHLY UNLIKE HER. So I took her to urgent care because she did start complaining about her ear and throat. Great. It turns out she has a horrible ear infection in her right ear and her left ear had been infected but was drained. This would explain all the sleepless nights. I just wish she had told me earlier so she (and myself) didn't have to lose so much sleep! She's on a stronger antibiotic this time and it's only once a day versus the 3 x's a day (YAY) so hopefully she'll be on the mend very soon. She did wake up crying a lot last night but nothing like before, so I think even one dose has helped. Tonight should be much, much better. I'm so looking forward to the sleep. And I'm so looking forward to the poor kid feeling better!

Thanks to SarahBeth

I discovered this little gem.
We are naughty! oh well!
Team Edward!

Forgive me for my absence

All the rumors were absolutely true. Once you start reading Twilight, it's hard to find the motivation to do much else! I've already read Twilight, Blue Moon, and I'm on page 400 something of Eclipse. I'm trying to slow down realizing after Eclipse only Breaking Dawn is left...

It's the BEST saga. EVER. PERIOD.

Ariel did wonderful during her dental work. Everything went so smoothly, I couldn't have asked God for anything more. She was running around that night as if nothing had ever happened.

Clarity and Emmalyn have colds they can't seem to kick. Just congestion and coughs caused by that congestion. I'll give them a few more days to get over it before I take them to the pediatrican. Who has seen us more times this winter season than I could have thought possible.

Ariel didn't go to school today. I'm feeling horrible. Just nauseated and exhausted and I have a headache. I didn't feel like getting her up and getting her ready... so she is home with me today. Hopefully I'll feel better soon. I have a ton to do.

Just wanted to update a bit and explain my lack of blogger enthusiasm. Now back to Edward I go.... *smile*

It came! It came!

It wasn't scheduled to arrive until January 24th... but the mailman brought me my slipcased Twilight collection today! I'm already on page 100.. lol... the girls were right... once you start reading, you don't want to stop!

This will give me something to read while my baby is having her dental work done tomorrow and while we're waiting for the anesthesia to wear off (please keep her in your prayers). I don't think I posted this, but they surprised me by bumping that up nearly 2 weeks and they are doing it tomorrow! I'm nervous but it will all be over with soon....

I'm glad I'll have Twilight and Edward to help keep me from climbing the walls with anxiety while waiting. God is good!

Happy 6th Birthday Ariel Brooke!!!

Where has the time gone? At 7:07 pm it will have been six years since Ariel came into our lives. I wanted to share something she told me yesterday.

HER: tomorrow's my birthday! Mama, are you excited?!
ME: *jokingly* nope
HER: Why???
ME: Because it means you're getting older... what happened to my baby?
HER: aww mama.. I'll always be your baby whether I'm 6 or 20 or 40!

WOW. That just seems beyond her years for her to say something like that. But she's right!

There are no words

to describe how nervous I am! We had Ariel's consult with the pediatric dentist today. They are going to put her under... I mean seriously... to do her fillings. Having never been put under myself, my stomach is in knots over doing it to my baby. It won't be for another three weeks or so. Can you imagine how much of a mess I'll be when the time comes, when I'm this worried now? Jesse will have to take that day off because I'm going to bawl. I know I will. She'll be fine though. They are going to do the procedure at Asheville Surgery Center which is a part of Mission Hospital. They've been doing this for years & years & years and have never really had an incident. Of course there's always that chance and that's the part that scares me. But they said she won't be in hardly any pain when she comes out of it. He said maybe a bit of irritation in her nose and throat from the tubes, but other than that, she'll probably be playing that night. He says kids bounce back so quick. And all of this will be over. They also said some of her "cavities" are probably something she was born with...and after this we probably won't have a thing to worry about. This whole procedure will take maybe an hour but we'll be in the hospital for half the day.. most of it being pre-op and observation. Oh joy!

So that's our news. She LOVED this dentist & did amazing.I am just so incredibly proud of her. She's so calm about everything and really and truly is a wonderful kid (even if she can drive me crazy with her "I know everything" attitude). So while she thinks it's "cool" she'll be asleep so she can "be in dreamland dreaming of riding on a triceratops" while they fix her teeth... mommy has to hide the fact that I am terrified and this will be on my mind every moment until this is OVER.

I also wanted to add that I got a very pleasant surprise when I got home. Mom, dad & Patrick cleaned up the house while I was gone. That was very nice and I'm very thankful!

It's amazing

How much an upbeat attitude makes life seem. Even when things are tough... to go with the flow... is so much better than sulking and asking "why me?". I've been making an effort daily to be happy. reguardless. and it's working. I AM happy.

I can't thank God enough for the blessings he has put upon us. We have had our hard times but I believe we'll continue to grow from it and come out stronger in the end. It took us going through all these for me to decide that I'm worth going back to college so I can get a decent job to help provide for these girls. I am still so excited about this decision.. I just hope God lets everything fall into place and I do get to go. I just have to pray about it and let things unfold.

What is really cool is when you look back at something that at the time seems like a major tragedy and you now know that it was for the best. Jesse losing all of those jobs this past summer... It was unbelievable and I kept thinking "WHY?!". I mean he lost his job at the granite place.. then when he was doing remodels on homes.. then the car salesman....

but look... building and remodels have slowed down dramatically... the VERY day they told him they were letting him go from the car dealership (even though they had just hired him the week before)... the company he is with called. You can't say God didn't have a hand in what was going on. Not long after he joined this company... the auto industry went way downhill. So all of those layoffs in the end were the biggest BLESSINGS. Who would have thought? He is now doing something healthier (the granite thing is so unhealthy for a person's lungs)... he has steady work... and it pays as well as all the other things he was doing. He is happy where he is. It's where God finally put him. All I can do is keep praying that it is God's will that he is there and that things continue to go well and he has job security.

My whole point is... when something is going on and it seems like your world is collapsing.. GOD will take care of you. How people don't believe is beyond me. I would be a mess without my faith. And coming through all we've been through last year... and realizing how God has carried us through even when it didn't seem like it at the time... just makes my faith even stronger.

So I totally lied

I had to do it. When I saw this layout for my blog... I knew... I HAD TO USE IT! Now this one... I can definitely deal with seeing for a long time!

so much to do

God grant me motivation!!! I have got to do something with this house. I have girl clothes to pack away, girl clothes to pull out and wash.... I swear having three girls was a blessing and a curse. It saved us money with not having to buy new clothes constantly... but then there's the issue I have now. Constantly pulling out and packing boxes anytime one jumps into the next size! Which is a huge mess. There are clothes everywhere.

I will work on this and cleaning my room today. So I say. I had tons of motivation yesterday... but what happened? I got slammed with a headache the size of Texas that lasted from the moment I opened my eyes until they shut last night. That threw my plans out the window. Today is a new day, though, now I just need to find that motivation again. Good luck with that. lol.

But at this very moment.. I'm starving.. So I'm going to go find some breakfast and then figure out where I want to start. First things first.. I need to get my arse off the computer!

I fought... and LOST!

I fought this whole "Twilight" frenzy. I didn't see how it could possibly be as wonderful as everyone was saying. Well I lost this fight. BIG TIME. I decided I'd order the four book series.. unfortunately it's backordered (who knew?) so I decided to watch the movie yesterday.

OH.MY.GOSH!!!

For those of you who were like me (living under a rock) and really don't know what all the fuss is about... This is a love story. A fantastic, completely amazing, you wish you were Bella love story. lol. Edward is a vampire (the hottest vampire EVER).. Bella is human... they love each other.. but you can imagine it's hard for them to be together.

So anyways.. now I CANNOT wait for my book series to get here. From what I've heard, once you start reading, things can go downhill at home. You want to eat, live, breathe, and sleep Twilight. One of my friends thinks the books are laced with crack. LOL. I'm already a huge fan just by the movie so I'm looking forward to feeding my addiction with the books that give you so much more to the story.

I'm pathetic. oh yeah.. and I love Edward.

Well....

First of all thank you everyone for your prayers and uplifting thoughts for us and Miss Ariel! God is Great!

We took Ariel to her appointment yesterday. I was so mad because when we got there, they made us wait in the "sick" waiting room. I was thinking "OMG" and wanted to rip their heads off. I kept muttering how if she wasn't sick going in, she sure would be when we left (as well as Emma and Clarity). I was fit to be tied.

We got back there eventually (the wait at this office is rediculous.. always). The doctor checks the lymph nodes all over her body and keeps saying "well this seems harmless. Probably a virus". I was about ready to scream... but I did a great job hiding that and just let her examine her.... she looks in Ariel's throat and it's red. She says "we'll do a quick strep swab.. and if that comes back negative, we'll do a CBC panel just to be safe". Low and behold.. the kid has strep throat! No fever, no sore throat, no nothing but she tested positive. So we're praying that's why the lymph node on her neck got bigger like it did. The doctor did say if it doesnt start going back down in two weeks, to bring her back and we'll do that CBC panel just to double check things. That makes me feel better. So I'm praying her lymph node just goes back down. But knowing me, I'll take her in and have them do that panel just to get me to stop worrying all the dang time!

The girls went to the dentist for the first time yesterday. They both did GREAT. I wasn't allowed to go back there with them.. but the dentist said she couldn't believe how well behaved and pleasant they are. Ariel's report wasn't too great.. she has cavities, not terrible ones, but little ones between her teeth. I kind of figured.. this being her first visit and she's six years old... but the dentist said she can tell we brush her teeth very well, she just has deep grooves around her molars and that's where they are. They have referred her to another dentist (this was my choice) because I have the option of getting them all fixed at once and she'll be asleep (they dont put her under general... it's some drink that makes them loopy and sleepy). I opted to do that because her visit with this dentist went so well and I dont want to ruin that comfortable association she has with them.. or make her fear that office. So this other dentist will be in touch with us this week to make an appointment to get a consult and get this all over with. Clarity got a clean bill of dental health. Yay.

So all and all, things didn't go too bad yesterday at all. Ariel is on antibiotics for her strep and was actually cleared to go to school today. Which by the way, we got a two hour delay today due to the snow that started coming down yesterday evening. Always a plus! We were in t-shirts the other day.. now there's snow on the ground! Crazy weather!

Well I'm off to clean and take care of these two crazy girls I still have at home with me...

God bless you all and have a great day!

I can

go on & on & on about my girls and their senses of humor. I think they have their dad's "I think I'm a comedian" gene. And sure enough.. they crack me up on a daily basis.

Clarity... she thinks she is queen of the tv and remote. If you sit down to watch something, she'll try to change the channel. Sometimes she succeeds and you have to threaten her life to get her to leave it alone. Okay.. maybe you don't have to be that dramatic... but anyhow.

Yesterday such was the case. I was trying to watch something and she goes on playing her role as TV Commando. She holds the remote and looks at me in all seriousness, "I like Dora. Do you like Dora?" . "I like Max and Ruby. Do you like Max and Ruby?"..."I like Diego. Do you like Diego?". She's being nice and trying to compromise on finding something we both like. But do you see my options here? LOL. And if I dare to be bold and say I don't like her shows... she cries fake tears and whines... but then even she catches on to how pathetic she sounds and it turns to giggles. She can be aggrivating at times, but her laugh is contagious. At least for me!

Emmalyn is getting more and more personality. The girl is taking off everywhere. She's got this walking thing about down. It's too cute to see this bald, toothless baby walking around. She's a "toddler" now. But she's still such a baby...at least she looks the part! She's such a piece of sunshine. Her smile can light up a room. And her giggles.. wow. She is just so much fun!

What can I say about Ariel? I can say a lot. She's at that age... where she knows everything. I don't know what she needs parents for. lol. She can be mouthy, but she's a great kid with an awesome heart. She's also got a way with making me laugh. Be it by a silly dance or a song she makes up... or an outrageous story... or a funny face... she can bring a smile to your face if you're down.

I'm lucky to be given the opportunity for smiles and laughs everyday. No matter what is going on in my life... my girls are a joy. A sense of humor is vital in living a happy life... and I don't think I have anything to worry about with these three around.

I hate this feeling

My nerves are on edge. If you go back into my blog.. say to last January or February.. you'll see where I was nervous about Ariel having lymph nodes in her neck. Of course we went to the doctor twice and I was told... don't even give it a second thought. She's fine. Well it's been almost a year and they never went away. All of a sudden.. without her being sick... they have gotten bigger. So we go Wednesday and I'm going to push for them to do blood work. I don't dare google all the possible things that could be wrong... I'm a nervous wreck as it is. Of course I've already got the "what if it's lymphoma? What if she has cancer?" running amuk in my brain. I want to cry. I'm trying my hardest to prepare myself for the worst... but I'm praying to God (more like begging) for it to be nothing. But I want proof. I don't want to take a doctor's word for it. They are going to have to do blood tests or something.

Ariel is a smart girl. She knows something is going on. She knows we're going to the doctor about her lymph nodes. She knows they have gotten bigger. I am trying to hide how scared I am deep down but I have a feeling she senses that I'm worried.

So please, please, please... lift her up in prayer. And Wednesday *tick..tick...tick... time drags by when you're a worried mama* hopefully I can come on here and have a praise report that she's okay.

Fresh

As you can tell, I can't keep my blog looking the same for very long. I guess I just like to change things up! I'm not sure why. I like this pink and brown stuff though... maybe I'll keep this longer than the rest. At least until the next holiday!

It's 2009. Oddly enough I'm very optimistic about this year. Maybe because last year was kind of a blah year. I mean a GREAT thing DID happen in 2008... Emmalyn Reese... a huge surprise... but a wonderful blessing... came into our lives. That overshadows the bad for me. As I've said before, having her made all the crummy stuff worth it.

And in the end, God has seen us through everything. He never promised life would be easy, but he did promise never to leave us and to always provide. So far, so good.

But anyhow.. I'm excited for 2009. It's a fresh start. New opportunity. With many prayers and faith.. it will be a wonderful year. Even if nothing fantastic happens.. I just pray that it's a calm one!

I wish all of you many blessings and prayers for you and your families during this coming year. May you have many laughs. May you be healthy. And may you thank God everyday for what you do have and not feel lacking for what you don't. May friends surround you and great memories fill your heart.

So even though I slept through 2009's coming.... there is my "toast" and my wish for all of you :o)

HAPPY NEW YEAR!