Happy December!!!

Almost time to say adios to 2009. This year has honestly gone by so fast it's almost a blur. We've had ups and downs, but I like to think that 2009 has been a pretty decent year. Here's hoping to 2010 being even better and more blessed!!

I know I'm dreaming up some changes for myself. We finally got our family pictures done this past Sunday. I'm not sure how they turned out (hopefully great) but I will say even if they didn't, it was worth it. I've decided I'm going to get a Nikon D60 camera learn an photo editing program such as Lightroom and try my hand at photography. I'm hoping during the next year, I can supplement our income with it. I am thankful for my job at Staples, I am, but honestly I'm worth so much more than they pay me. I'm not going to quit my job but I am hoping I can bring in some extra money doing the whole photography thing.

It's going to be expensive to start up, but hopefully and prayerfully it will pay off in the long run!

As soon as Crystal gets my cd with the pics done (she said it should be done by mid December) I'll post our first ever family pics :o)

I'm off to clean and do some organizing. I'm kind of in spring cleaning mode... only in late fall and winter time!

A Blessed Thanksgiving and A Thought on Karma

Our Thanksgiving was wonderful. Mom fixed ham and stuffing. Jesse worked on mashed potatoes, I made sweet potato casserole. we had cranberry sauce, pumpkin pie, rolls. It was very delicious and was made even more so by being together :o) Jesse did have a mishap with the potatoes, they got burnt, but he worked really hard on them and was upset so I'll still include them in our meal even though I'm the only one that ate any... I'm a great wife. lol. Usually I'm the one that burns something so this was a nice change!

Our Christmas tree is up. It still needs to be decorated and the house still has some organizing and cleaning to be done, but we're on the right track to being ready for Christmas!

Here is my thought on Karma. It is real. It will bite you in the butt. In my last post, I mentioned what a rear end I was when Ariel threw up and how that messed up my plans. Well the day before Thanksgiving, I had the day off and of course, made a ton of plans again. A certain someone woke up that morning, ate a huge bowl of Lucky Charms, and within an hour was locking kids out of her bathroom to throw up more than she has in who knows how long. My plans were shot. I spent the day sleeping in bed. I will be the first to say, with the way I fussed at Ariel 3 days prior, I totally deserved that!

Always treat others with kindness and respect or Karma will find its way to you. I can promise you that one!

Change of Plans

are everywhere it seems. Either there is (or was) a change of plans or plans seem to be up in the air. That's life, I suppose. I'm not complaining. I'm one of those people that believe there must be a reason for everything.

So you know how I had the other day all planned out. Haircuts, family pictures, lunch, movies? Well here's how my plans played out. No haircuts. It was Sunday. Why didn't I realize that? So I got my little family all dressed in our coordinating outfits and we head out the door. We go to Huddle House for some breakfast. Ariel had been whining all morning about her tummy. I thought she was just wanting attention. She was fine until she got in trouble for being mean to her sisters. She cried. No.. wailed. She hated the world. She was sulky. She was going to be so fun in our family pictures, I could tell. Ariel hardly touches her food. In typical Ariel fashion, she has me take her to the bathroom to be sick where she does nothing *sigh*. So we leave and we're running late to the appointment. I call the photographer, she's cool, she's running late as well. Ariel falls asleep in her carseat. We are literally 2 minutes from our destination, stopped at a red light, when I hear a splash behind me. That's right. Miss Ariel woke up and threw up all over herself. She's starting to cry. I should have felt sorry for her. Quite the opposite. Instead I was griping. As if she chose to throw up... to just ruin my plans.

After a brief tantrum (from myself not not my beautiful, ill little one) I got it together. I called the photographer, explained the situation, and told her I'd reschedule another time. Who knows when that will be. It will be soon but definitely after haircuts and my face clears up (it's probably a good thing Ariel was pukey, I'd hate to pay $100 for pictures I'm absolutely not thrilled with).

Her bug was short lived, she came home and slept the day away and felt okay enough to go see New Moon. The movie was GREAT!!! Clarity behaved for the most part but by the last ten minutes she was done and ready to leave (I have to give it to her... she did VERY well for a four year old sitting in on a movie that is over 2 hours). Ariel became a traitor and left Team Edward for Team Jacob. That's okay. More Edward for me :o)

Jesse just had another interview with the cable company. He REALLY wants this job. I'm uncertain. Just because it pays less. But he says he's willing to deal with a paycut in exchange for less stress and more happiness, so I will stand behind my husband. I just keep praying for God's will for us to be done, regardless of the outcome. And honestly I think the only reason I'm really hesitant is because deep down I know if he gets this job, it means no vacation. I really, really wanted to spend a few nights in Gatlinburg. But as the title of this blog implies, there always seems to be a change of plans.

And you know what, that's okay. My family is alive, we are healthy, we love eachother, and we are doing well. I know whatever changes come our way, we will take them on together and everything will be how it's supposed to be, in the end. ♥

Am I asking for trouble?

I am looking forward to tomorrow in a big way. First on my agenda is haircuts for Jesse and myself. We have an appointment with a photographer at 1 pm in Asheville for family pictures. There are five of us. Five. In my head I'm envisioning all of these just adorable and fantastic shots. In reality, I'm sure it will be a different story. I'm sure we will have kids running around, making faces, in all probability have melt downs, a frustrated mom and a frazzled dad. lol. Maybe I'm just seeing the glass as like almost completely empty. Maybe it won't be so bad. Maybe, just maybe the photographer will get those shots I can envision in my head. Maybe.

Even if that doesn't go over so well, I'm sure it will be an experience. Hard to believe these will be our first family pictures... ever. I am such a slacker. I just hope to get the cd back ASAP so I can print out some pics and actually get Christmas cards sent out this year. With a real family photo included. Am I becoming domestic? Maybe.

Last but not least (definitely not least) we will be ending our family day taking the two older girls to see.... **drumroll please** NEW MOON! Finally! Hallelujah!

Yes I'm one of those crazy Twilight fans. Thankfully I share this love with Ariel and Clarity. The plan originally was for it to just be Ariel and I going. Well then Clarity comes up with "but mama, I want to go to the theater too! I love Edward too! Can I come?" How could I say no to that? I couldn't. Then Jesse pipes up with how he would like to go see it (I'm sure that was a hard pill for him to swallow to open up and admit that one). I told him I was shocked and he said the first one was okay and he's sure this next one will be better so he'd like to see it. He did tell me not to expect him to act all crazy over it though. lol.

Miss Emma will spend time with her Grandma & Abu.

So those are our plans for our "day off" tomorrow. I'm looking forward to it! Family pictures with three young kiddos and then a movie I've been waiting for months and months for with two young kids. Am I asking for trouble? Maybe. But it's going to be worth every second of it!

The Waiting Is Almost Over

Thankful

So today I had the joy of having a Thanksgiving lunch with Ariel (and of course I had Emmalyn and Clarity in tow, Jesse had to work). That's when it really hit me. Thanksgiving is next week. Am I the only one completely flabbergasted over how this happened? wow.

But anyhow it is so I decided I would make a post of things I'm thankful for. As humans we tend to get wrapped up in silly things and have pity parties for ourselves over things that really.don't.matter in the long run. This blog will be a reminder for when I'm having one of those moments.

1. GOD. I am thankful that I know him. I will not even pretend to be one of those church every Sunday, Bible reading people. I know I *should* be, but I'm not there yet. God still loves me. He still blesses my family. He still knows I'm thankful and he still knows I love him. As imperfect and broken as I am. GOD loves me. If you're reading this.. he loves you just as much. That's so awesome.

2. My family. The very same people that can drive me to the very brink of insanity, are the very same people that can pull me away from it. I can't imagine my life without any of them (I don't even want to try). They make me who I am, they make me a better person. With them by my side, I know I can get through anything. I love them with all of my heart and I'm thankful for every second God blesses me with to spend with them.

okay now that the main things in my life are out there. Let me think of all the little things I am thankful for :o) **random order as they pop into my head**

*my home
*sunshine
*rain
*laughs with friends
*my girls' giggles
*my job
*electricity
*clean water
*books
*education
*freedom
*snowflakes
*cuddles
*breezes
*nature
*miracles


Hold it right there. That last one. Miracles. How did I overlook this? Stellan (he's been in my blog before). I witnessed (okay well I wasn't there but I feel like I saw it) a miracle. Long story short. Stellan's SVT came back. They had to fly to Boston to try another ablation. Stellan's heart actually stopped beating, he flatlined... they got him back. He started running a fever and wasn't very stable for surgery but they had to take him back because he just wasn't doing well. His surgery was given a 12% success rate. well to God be the glory he was in that small percentage!!! His surgery was a complete success and the baby boy (who had just turned one) who was about to go home to Jesus, is now an SVT free little guy!!! Tell me that's not a miracle. Tell me GOD didn't have a hand in that. Actually don't. Feel free to believe what you want but you will never convince me otherwise :o) I know in my heart.

My point is be THANKFUL. Life is so full of many blessings, big and small. What you may think is no big deal may be something HUGE to somebody else. Don't take things for granted. And when you're having a bad day, cheer up. There is always light at the end of the tunnel and if you look around, there really is so much to be thankful for.

Wow

Can I take a moment to be completely proud of the fact that the above child is MINE? This is her first grade picture. I think it turned out amazing and it seems her cute little personality just shines right through in it. Of course the older she gets, the more I see a rebellious kid that tries to test her boundaries, but this picture reminds me of the sweet angel that she truly is deep inside. I ♥ you Ariel Brooke! No matter how big for your britches and mouthy you get or how much we butt heads and argue, one thing is certain, I will ALWAYS love you!! And this goes for all three of my gorgeous, precious angels!!

Where do you think you're going

2009? I mean seriously is it already mid October? Really? *sigh*

That means in 4 months Emmalyn will officially be 2! It can't be. I swear.

All of my girls have gained a super human power to just grow faster than my mind is even able to process. Ariel is going to be 7. Clarity just turned 4. What?!

I hate to admit it but I am having an urge to have one more baby. Not anytime soon.. just sometime in life. Of course, I snap myself back into reality. I am blessed with the three most amazing, beautiful girls in the world. I'm not lacking anything. I guess I'm just sad to realize they are going to grow up and that they are, in fact, growing up. Everyday.

I need to post some pictures of my princesses. They bring me so much joy ♥

Can we please

Ship these two idiots to an island and not hear anything from either of them anymore? I used to think they were such a great family. The whole "Jon and Kate plus 8" was a cute show. Until they became so wrapped up in money and themselves and turned their adorable little brood into a circus sideshow. I feel for the kids, I really do. But yeah I'm totally over Jon and Kate. I don't really feel sorry for either one of the money hungry fame whores. lol.

September... really?!

Is it just me or is 2009 flying by at a rediculous rate? I mean it seems like summer just got here, and it's already leaving. A part of me is sad. Okay make that a BIG part of me is sad. I love summer. I love tshirts, shorts, flip flops, tank tops, not having to warm up the car in the mornings, letting the kids run outside like wild ones, going on hikes, grilling out...you get the picture. I am a summertime girl. I am not looking forward to it getting cold, not wanting to crawl out of my warm bed, worrying about flu bugs, the kids going stir crazy having to stay in the house... ugh. Not looking forward to it. Not one single bit. Can't we slow time just a little?

I did buy some Febreeze Pumpkin Spice air freshener to get into a fall mood. I told Jesse last night I'm a total freak. I have to change my air freshener with the seasons. I can't spray summery scents in the fall/winter and I can't spray fall scents in the spring/summer. Talk about a weird quirk. Am I the only one like that?

Here is some good news: I HAVE A JOB!! woohoo!! After a nearly 2 year long job search and applying at more places than I can count, I am able to go to work. Right now I'm working as a temporary at Staples. But the good news is they said they'll more than likely keep some of the temps, and the managers seem really happy with me, so hopefully I'll be a keeper! lol. It feels so nice to actually feel like I'm going to be contributing financially. And it seems to be helping my sanity as well. Don't get me wrong, I ADORE my children. I love them more than anything but me being with them 24/7 takes a toll on all of us. Now I go to work and I MISS them and can't wait to get home. When I do my heart is just warm and fuzzy and I just love up on them. I've missed that feeling sooo much!! I'm not as snappy with them. I need the time away from home to make me appreciate it that much more, if that makes any sense.

Other than that, the only other news is the kids have been sick. I had to take miss Emmalyn to the doctor last week because she was scaring me to death. Her breathing was super fast and you could hear her grunt and wheeze and struggle. She tested negative for any flu, strep, and RSV (very good news) so it was just some virus making things hard. I now own a nebulizer as they did an office treatment and it helped so she got prescribed some albuterol. We only had to do one treatment at home, and she kicked her bug for the most part. Thank God. She really hates those treatments. Having to hold a mask over an 18 month old and keep her still for 10 minutes.. makes her quite pissed. lol.

And so that's what's new here. Life is flying by and changing always...but I guess that's life :o)

Picture Time!

The new house!

She just keeps getting bigger (and more beautiful by the minute)! So full of personality!

My sweet and too cute Clarity, she reminds me of a trucker in this pic! lol

And here is my beautiful girl on picture day. First grade. where does time go?

Remember Me?

Hmmm? Probably not. I know, I'm like Mrs. Invisible or something like that. I am around. I just play on Facebook too much and don't update my blog as I should. I need to make my blog a priority. I worked too hard on it to just abandon it.

So what's new here?

We're here in Hendersonville and so far, so good! Ariel has been a first grader for nearly a month now. Seriously. When we first moved here, I was dead set on sending her to this school that's about a 15 minute drive away just to spare her from going into a classroom three weeks behind her peers and not knowing anyone. You see the school we are in district for is on a year round schedule. They go to school for about 3 months and get a 3 week break then they get the month of June off as the transition period between grades. So when we got here, school had already been in session for about three weeks. As chance would have it, she did not get into that school I had wanted her to (that was on a normal schedule and actually starts tomorrow). There was a waiting list so she ended up going in late. And you know what? It's probably the best thing that could have happened! She adjusted so well (she's already gotten a good citizen sheet). She made friends easily, jumped right in with the school work and is just doing fabulous! We did have a bit of a scare as I found out her school is the one and only school in this county that has a confirmed case (or cases) of swine flu. But they have been diligent in teaching the kids proper hygiene, sanitizing, and there's an urgent care center on site with a full time RN and PA so if any kid shows signs, they are tested right there and sent home for at least a week. So, I feel more at ease about it.

We're loving the house. Our neighbor is nutty as hell... but that's not even worth my time venting about. I'd much rather forget her crazy ass. lol.

Other than that, busy, busy, busy. Jesse is hoping to move to another job, he just has to wait for a vacancy and then he's in (that's pretty much what the supervisor at the new place has said) so fingers crossed that happens soon. I just got a phone call today and I have an interview with Staples on Monday. Hopefully I can get some work going. Oh to have income! It would be such a blessing!

We're still not Powerball winners.. but we hold hope. LOL.

The girls.. growing, growing, growing. Pics to come!

We're very happy. Times are hard but God knows, we are so blessed.

Holy Cow!

I am such a neglectful blogger. Terrible!

So it looks like I need to do another speed round of updates!

We are moving... again. No we are not nomads. We don't move for fun but life threw us a curve ball. Ours plus my parent's rental homes got foreclosure notices just mere months after we moved into them. Nice, hey! I was stressed and totally freaking out but GOD works all things out. We just found the "perfect" home for us two days ago. After posting my second "housing needed" ad on Craigslist a man contacted me about a home he had. Turns out it's everything we wanted and needed... and we were the only people he contacted about it! We sign the lease tomorrow and start moving in this weekend. It's going to be a busy couple of days here! Mom, dad and Patrick will be moving with us but it should be heaps easier this time. There are enough rooms for us all. Plus it's just gorgeous. I don't see how any of us could be unhappy there.

Oh yeah, it's in Hendersonville. So a bit of a move (about an hour) but we're excited and looking forward to the change! This should be the last move for a while as we're signing a two year lease and we have hopes of maybe doing a rent to own type deal down the line. We shall see!

I would love to say that Ariel has had a busy, non-stop fun summer but not really so. We have taken her hiking and to Ghost Town in Maggie Valley with friends but other than that and a few trips to the park, nothing major. I'm really hoping to hop in the car and take a trip to Carowinds in Charlotte soon. I swear next year we're getting season passes. Another plus to moving to Hendersonville? Charlotte is only an hour and a half away. Woohoo!

The girls are growing like weeds. I'll post pictures soon.

But for now, I have to pack and clean as this place won't do it by itself.

Have a blessed day, week, month, year, life :o)

A Video Clip From Ariel's Graduation... awwww

You'll have to excuse the shakiness... Clarity kept grabbing at my legs. If you listen *really* closely, you can hear me whisper to her to stop shaking me. LOL.

It's Been Way Too Long

I've completely missed blogging! I'm not sure why I haven't lately. So let's get to the nitty gritty of what's been going on.

Ariel graduated Kindergarten!!! Woohoo!!! It was such a cute ceremony and she did wonderful (I had to MAKE her go though. She threw up the night before. But she went in late the next day since she was playing Nintendo DS and laughing, I figured she could go to school). I'm so glad she did. I wouldn't have wanted to miss that milestone!

My car is in the shop (it won't be done for a couple of days because a seal we bought was the wrong one... Thank you Toyota Dealer! Glad you know your own cars!). So the mechanic ordered another and it will be a few days before it comes in and I get my car back. My washing machine has also decided to be a pain in the arse and leak all over the floor (is machinery out to get me?!). Jesse can't fix it. It's always something! Just have to keep looking on the bright side and trusting God to see us through all of this. Still hoping we win the lottery or I get a good job... or something amazing happens.

But I guess something amazing happens everyday. I have 3 gorgeous girls, a great husband and family. We're blessed enough to have a roof over our heads and food to eat. So for that, I am just so thankful to GOD. I know one day this financial mess over our heads will end. I just hope and pray and wish it happens sooner than later.

And now for my newest fun thing to do online : Twitter. How did I end up adding yet something else to my plate? Well because I can follow awesome people like the New Kids (you know my ♥ for those guys) and Peter Facinelli (Carlisle on Twilight). I haven't had any personal tweets from any of them, but I still hold hope. Jesse laughs at me because something so simple like that would make my day. Maybe I should be embarrassed. But I'm not.

Well I really should go and do dishes and clean up. We've been going through the girls' clothes (and *gasp* I'm actually donating some of them. If you know me you know my girls' clothes are super sentimental, so this is hard, but if a kid that needs help during these times gets them, that will make it all worth it for me). We're also donating toys. I guess you can say we're "summer" cleaning instead of spring cleaning.

And that's the latest here. I know, I'm just sooo interesting you can't stop reading! lol. So if you read all of that, thank you and congratulations (sorry I don't have a prize to give you). Are you still reading? Seriously? hello? :o)

Answered Prayers

God hears our prayers. He does. He answers them according to HIS plans and not our own. That's sometimes a hard thing to accept. Especially today. Gorgeous Kayleigh Anne Freeman passed away last night. I have been praying daily. Praying for a miracle. That God would heal her and that she would be able to go home. Of course as I prayed these prayers, I was praying for this to happen in the physical world. I know there are thousands and thousands of people that were praying for the same thing. Those who don't believe in GOD would think our prayers went unheard. No. Not at all. God heard every.single.prayer.

Kayleigh is healed and she is HOME. Jesus took her tiny, worn out body and gave her a new one. He wrapped his arms around her and took her to live with him. Prayers were answered.

Not the way we would have liked for them to be. I would have loved for her to have been healed here. I would have loved for her to go home and live with her mommy and daddy. But God is God and has his reasons for everything. That wasn't to be. We are all crying and praying for her family. That God wraps his arms around them and comforts them and gets them through this. And he will. God is faithful and loving.

Kayleigh is free from all pain. She is whole. She is in paradise. When it's time for her loved ones to go home... she will be one of the ones to greet them with hugs and smiles.

That is the comfort I hold on to during times like these.

Tears have fallen. A lot of tears. Kayleigh is loved and will always be. She will always be cherished and remembered. Greif is selfish. We cry and hurt because we wish they were with US. If we only knew how happy and blessed she is. If we could only get a glimpse of the paradise she is living now... we wouldn't want her to be brought back. She wouldn't want to come either!

She is perfect!

My Very First Not Me Monday!

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.


Well first of all I have to say, I did not and I repeat, I did not somehow drive up onto a railroad tie while waiting in the car line to pick my daughter up from school. I mean seriously who would do that? You follow the person in front of you and don't go over 5 mph. So it wasn't me that did that and honked the horn on the way of getting off the thing to boot! Never! That would be way embarrassing and I feel for the poor soul that happened to!

I also did not forget we parked in front of a sidewalk at Wal-Mart. I did not think I could just "pull through" because the spot in front of me was empty. I did not get fussed at by my husband for trying to tear up the car. That wasn't me!

I was not completely lazy this Monday and left my two younger ones in sleepers the entire day. I did not take them out of the house just like that to pick up my oldest from school. I also did not allow my neighbors to see this complete laziness! No way!

I did not watch my one year old peel off her diaper and pee in the floor and I absolutely did not giggle about it. I also will not admit that I haven't shampoo'd that spot in the carpet yet. That would be disgusting. lol.

I have not spent most of my days that I should be cleaning and organizing playing on Facebook or reading blogs or chatting on message boards. I am more time efficient than that so that couldn't be moi!

What kinds of things have you NOT done this week?

You know what I love

I love to make people laugh. Most of the times that consists of my hubby and kids... but there are also some girls online that I can get the giggles out of..sometimes. I made a post today on a message board and I had some girls tell me they literally laughed out loud (at my expense. Of course. But does that matter?). I'll tell you the fact that they laughed, even though it was at one of my embarrassing experiences (I seem to have those frequently), made me smile.

So I am going to share this story. Maybe, just maybe, you'll laugh too. If you do, let me know! Because that makes me happy. And you know what? I like to be happy. It's fun!

Before I begin my story, let me give a bit of background. My drama queen (I mean precious) daughter, Ariel goes to a great school. They are big on safety. If you pick up your kids, you have to wait in the car line (or park and walk up and get them yourself but then usually you still have to wait in the car line to leave as the traffic flows one way and there's a lot of it).
Anyways, once you get up there, the teacher puts the child in your car to be sure it is YOU picking them up. So this is what I mean in my story when I say car line.

Following? I hope so.

Here's the story:

So yesterday I'm in the "car line". Usually the wait to get up to where your child is can be 15 to 20 minutes depending on where you get in the car line. Towards the back, obviously your wait is longer. Unfortunately I fell in the middle somewhere. I would have LOVED to have been the last car... less witnesses.

I can't tell you *exactly* what happened. I'd like to say it was because I didn't have sunglasses on and maybe the glare of the sun on the back window of the Subaru in front of me kept me from realizing what I was doing. But I don't know. Maybe I was daydreaming and wasn't paying attention. Maybe I'm stupid. Whatever the reason, I was snapped back into reality when my car, going around a turn to loop around to the entrance, started climbing one of the railroad ties that line the side of the parking lot. Yes, going 5 mph and following the car in front of me, I managed to pull off this embarrassing fiasco. So immediately I correct myself. Not only are the people behind me seeing my car ride up on a railroad tie (which NEVER should have happened, I mean honestly), my arm hits the horn as I'm trying to get the front of my car back on the pavement. It was like my car was saying, "HONK! HONK! Look at us! The driver is a moron!". My face burned red but thankfully that's all that came of that. I could have damaged my car! I didn't dare look in my review mirror to see any faces. I'm sure they either had a total look of confusion as to how I pulled that off, or they were laughing. I know I was laughing. I think I was hoping to convince people, "oh I meant to do that". I'm just glad we hadn't made it to where teachers or *gasp* Ariel could see my stunt. To think if that had been the case. I can't imagine!

My Spirit is willing

but my flesh is weak.

I have so much to do. So, so, so much to do.

Yet I'm tired. My baby is laying on my bed in a sound, peaceful sleep.

I want to lay down with her. I want to sleep, too.

But I have a ton to do.

I better get off the darn computer and finish up.

On her way

Ariel got her kindergarten graduation pictures in today. I have to admit I got teary eyed reading this one. Where does time go?

*note.. ahem I guess my scanner had some crud on it...*

Tears, Tears, and More Tears

They did a test on Stellan to try to bring back SVT (he had a 35% chance of it happening)... and he went back in and they had a hard time getting him out of it. He's out of it (Thank God) and the doctors and his mama are going to go over where to go from here. I can't stop crying!

Prayers for Kayleigh

When I'm having those moments of feeling sorry for myself for whatever reason... I am gently reminded that there are those who are dealing with so much more than I am. Such as kayleigh's parents. You can click on the above image to be taken to her blog & read her story. Long story short she was born very premature weighing only a pound. She has weathered every storm and been in the hospital for 10 months. She gained weight, went through surgeries, and was well on her way home (when the doctors said she had no chance in the beginning). Unfortunately, this morning, something has happened. They think she may be braid dead. My heart is torn apart for her parents. They are strong in their faith in God, which helps because either way they know God will take care of them. But still this is absolutely devestating to them. So prayers are being lifted up. God will do his will. He knows if Kayleigh will survive yet another storm or go to be with him. He knows the outcome of this. We're all praying she shows these earthly doctors another miracle but if not, we pray that God gives her family strength and wraps his love around them.

I was having a bad day but now my thoughts are focused elsewhere. Even though I am worried about finances and finding a job... God knows the outcome of this, too. So I will keep saying my prayers and lay this at his feet. He will take care of everything. It may not be how and when we would like for him to, but his plans are the best for us. We just need to keep talking to him and take life as it comes. And always remember there are others that are having bad (or horrible or even the worst day of their lives)... and keep them lifted in prayer as well.

One of those Days...

I'm having one of those days where you have to force yourself to be happy. I hate those days. I don't have a miserable life, not by a long shot, but some days things just get to me and I feel down. I have prayed and asked God to help me with this down feeling & it is working. Jesse came home for a bit (which he never does) and that helped my mood a little. So God is at work on my heart. My main issue is I want a job... actually one particular job where I could work from home nearly 40 hours a week. I put in my resume and I'm playing that waiting game (but not holding my breath because I might possibly die if I do). I'm going to follow up on it Friday or Monday. I hate wanting something so badly and knowing it's a long shot. I keep praying. That's all I can do. I NEED a job. God knows this and he'll provide somehow. I have faith in that. I just wish I knew when & how. But I guess that's where faith steps in. I have to trust him and his ways. Stellan is still here... after having a 5% chance of living when he was only 20 weeks in the womb... and now he's 6 months old... that just goes to show that with God... even long shots happen.

Look What I Got Today

note: If you click on the picture it will enlarge. Ariel's wearing the black and white shirt and she has the "frizzy" hair she says. lol. It was raining that day, what can I say? Her hair has a mind of its own sometimes :o)

AMAZING NEWS!!!

The latest update on Stellan : Praise GOD he survived the surgery! No details yet but his mama posted that he was in recovery (still intubated). The surgery was much longer than they had planned and the one update we got that said his lungs and tissues were filled with fluid scared me, but GOD has let him pull through. They are nowhere near out of the woods yet and time will tell but when I saw the news that he made it out of surgery... that news alone, put me in tears.


The above is something I emailed to Stellan's mama. Today was a day to wear orange in Stellan's honor and to show support. We don't have a lot of orange around here, so I threw something together. Hundreds & hundreds of pics of people wearing orange and showing their support are all over her blog. It's really something to see!

But anyhow.. so far all the love & prayers are working so what shall we do?

Keep praying! Always praying....

A down day

I'm feeling blah today. So much is going on & my mind and heart are racing. Stellan (again this baby I don't even know personally) is in surgery. A risky surgery. Prayers are going up from literally across the globe. We have fallen in love with this little guy & we just want him to LIVE. The latest twitter update.. he's been in surgery for over 3 hours and the only bit of info his mom has gotten: there's a lot of fluid in his lungs and tissues.

The waiting is agony for me... I can't even fathom how it must feel to be in her shoes. Yet she is in a place in her relationship with GOD that she TRUSTS he will do what's best. We're all praying for Stellan to live and be healed, but only the Lord knows what is going to happen. He has a plan and we just have to trust that. It's hard. I'm not sure if it were one of my girls going through this that I would have such a faith. I'd probably be a horrible mess of emotions and not such a good witness for Christ. Jennifer (Mckmama) has taken this troubling time in her life to reach out to others and let them know God's love for them. wow. Simply wow.

I long for a relationship with the father...just like that. I will strive for it.

There are a lot of other things on my mind right now... but it pales in comparison to what they are going through. So I will take this time to just ask one thing. Pray for Stellan. pray for that family. Simply put.. just pray.

Spring? Hmmm...

Yesterday was gorgeous. Gorgeous, gorgeous, gorgeous! Bright blue skies, sunshine, 70 degrees. We took the girls to the playground at Ariel's school to give them some outside time and so we could enjoy the weather ourselves. Before we left, the wind started picking up, the clouds rolling in, and there was a bit of chill in the air. We ran by mom's place for a few mintues and headed home. When I got home, I checked the weather to see if any severe watches or weather were heading our way. We had a watch but it was nothing like I expected. I was expecting maybe a severe thunderstorm watch.. even a tornado watch... it was neither. Instead I see "WINTER STORM WATCH". Are you serious?! In April?! It's true! That warm, sunshiney weather has given way to cloudy, cold. They are predicting we could get between 1-4 inches of snow overnight tonight. How did this happen? I'm baffled & honestly a tad annoyed! This weather is a yo-yo. I'm sure my girls will get sick.. again. Maybe not. I pray not, but I'm kind of expecting it at the same time.

Oh yeah that watch has been upgraded... we are now in a WINTER STORM WARNING.

I'll be sure to take pics if we get snow. That way I can post the ones I took at the park yesterday & show you just what a difference... a day can make!

Stuff I Love :o)

Feed a child with a click!!

http://children.care2.com (there are also small tabs at the top of this page for other causes as well!)

http://www.bhook.com

http://www.freerice.com

http://www.hungerfighters.com

http://www.oneclickonemeal.com

http://www.thehungersite.com (there are also tabs at the top of this one to click to help causes such as breast cancer, children's health, literacy, the rain forest, & animals.. be sure to visit and click each one!)

I'll be sure to post more links later, but this is a good start! Vist & click! It only takes moments!

Lord Have Mercy....

I know there are starving children, babies, people in the world... but seeing it in pictures just brings a whole new realm of reality to it. I can hardly see through the tears. I was on facebook and joined a group where you can go to different sites and all it takes is the click of your mouse to help provide money or food or whatever. I'll post some of the links later so anyone who reads my blog can go click as well.

I wish I could save everyone. I've always been this way. I tell Jesse all the time if we ever got into some major money... I doubt we'd have more than we need, because I'd always be giving it away to help others. You wouldn't see me acting like a celebrity and dropping big bucks on a purse or clothes or stupid stuff. Not when there are babies out there... that are literally skeletons with a bit of skin on them. My heart aches. I look at my own precious babies.. healthy and happy. BLESSED. Thank you God.

Every baby, child, person deserves to be as lucky. We may not have much but I can't thank God enough for what we do have. I just wish everyone could have this...and I wonder why they can't. Lord bless those babies... bless those people... Lord.. have mercy.

Change of Plans

I've decided against going to see the New Kids in charlotte. For one $$$. Tickets go on sale tomorrow and we don't really have the money to spare for me to go off to another concert. Jesse's been great to me and let me blow enough on going to two. I'm happy with that. Then I started thinking about Jesse & Clarity & Emmalyn. I've been going to concerts and what have they been doing? Nothing really. Jesse & Clarity did go to the last one... but it wasn't exactly quality family time. So the guilt hit. I just figured out that Carowinds is in Charlotte... for the money I would spend on going to a concert... we could all go out there and have family time at an amusment park. A day of fun with my family vs. 2 hours of watching the New kids... hmmm.

I'm sorry guys.. I'm a fan and all... but my family wins. No doubt about it. Maybe we'll go out there at the same time the concert is (June 2nd)... and somehow run into them or something. Who knows.. could happen :o) lol

But I'm looking forward to telling Jesse about this. He wasn't thrilled with me going to another concert, but he wasn't saying he didn't want me to, either. I think he'll love the new plans. We need a family getaway. It's been too long. Way too long.

Uh Oh... here we go again!!!

The New Kids on the Block have posted their summer tour dates! I just called Jesse asking which would be better... Atlanta or Charlotte. I think I'm heading to Charlotte! lol. Now I just have to see if I can con my mom into coming with us again to help keep an eye on Emmalyn and Clarity. Jesse would probably want to come to this one since they are being held in outdoor amphitheaters for summer. Dear Lord don't let it rain or worse... severe weather! I'm already talking about this like I am going. It's not for sure, but I probably will.

I have such an awesome husband. He doesn't tell me I'm crazy or that we have better things to spend our money on (in all honesty, we do, but these concerts are just so much fun for Ariel & myself. We have such a blast). He just goes with it and lets me do my thing.

I never posted about the Greenville, SC concert. It was a lot of fun! Well Clarity was a handful & half (which is why she wont be going to this next one. lol) She wasn't bad, she enjoyed herself but was over the whole concert thing rather quickly and preferred to jump up & down in the seats or stare at the other concert goers. The concert was on St. Patrick's Day, so she had tons of costume type stuff to stare at on people. We had several people ask our permission to take pics of the tiny new kids fan. lol. One girl came up and was just loving talking to her before the show started and then handed Clarity her green, sparkly clover sunglasses. So miss claire bear thought that was cool. Ariel also had a blast as usual! She didn't move from her daddy's side... she was a total daddy's girl that night. Our seats were very close and we had an awesome view of the guys but of course... braindead me... brings my camera but doesn't check my batteries. They were dead! I was so mad at myself. I told Jesse if I got to touch one of the guys that would make up for it. Well.... they ran right in front of us! Jordan grabbed my hand and I got to touch Donnie, Danny & Joe, too! I never dreamed I'd ever be that close to them. lol. Soon after that, Clarity was just done being there and was asking to go back to the hotel, so we left. Way early. There was probably at least another hour and a half left, but I was fine with it. My daughter is more important than a concert. But I'm hoping this next one I go to (God willing) I will be able to see the whole thing! Mom had kept Emmalyn for us back at the hotel and when we got in, she was already asleep! I'm glad Emma was good for her!

So anyways that's how the second NKOTB concert went. And my husband (who is the best husband in the world) just lets me gush and scream and relive the feeling of being that pre- teen that was just head over heels for these guys. But he always knows... he has my heart :o)

You've Got To Be Kidding Me Monday

It's a monday all right.

Yesterday Jesse was routed to Brevard (a good 1 1/2 - 2 hours away). He forgot his battery for the drill and charger at a customer's place. He figured maybe we'd just buy a new one...he looked it up and it would cost us almost $200 to replace what he had left... you've got to be kidding me.

He leaves at 6 am this morning to head all the way out there and picks it back up. It figures that today he was routed 5 jobs right here close to home (which never happens. I mean we're thankful but he gets a massive workload on the one day he has to drive to go pick up that stuff he left yesterday). You've got to be kidding me!

Ariel tells me her ear is "bugging" her on the way to school. I tell her if it's still bugging her after school, we'll go get it looked at. Not even 2 hours later I get a call from her teacher to come and get her, she's been crying non stop with her ear hurting.... you've got to be kidding me!

We get to urgent care and it's official... kiddo has an ear infection... she hasn't had one since she was a year old... you've got to be kidding me!

I go to walmart and try to find a spot next to a cart corral thing so I can grab a cart, get the three kids in and go.... every spot I find has an empty cart corral (I know the guys get paid to take the carts back to walmart.. but come on.. can't you leave just one or two in each place for people like me?)... you've got to be kidding me.

I go to pay rent for the first time (which requires me to deposit money in my landlords account since she lives far away). She gave me the routing number not her account number so I couldn't do it... arg... and we can't get ahold of her to figure it out to give her the rent money... you've got to be kidding me!

It's 8:09 pm and Jesse still isn't home from work. He left at 6 am this morning.. you've got to be kidding me!

It wasn't a bad day... just one where you get a bunch of curve balls you didn't expect. But such is life. A roller coaster... up & down. up & then down.

On a happy note... I just looked at Stellan's blog and so far they've figured out a way to bring him out of SVT. It's not permanent.. yet. Keep praying my friends! GOD is AWESOME! Stellan was on the verge of having his little heart give up... and GOD worked another miracle. I firmly believe Stellan is supposed to be here. But if I'm wrong and Heaven forbid, he has to go home... he has brought so, so, so many closer to God through prayer. He truly is an angel.

Another happy note.... Ariel's ear isn't hurting right now. I gave her motrin earlier today and she's had one dose of antibiotic and she seems to be doing rather well! Much, much better than the lethargic, crying, very sick kiddo I picked up early from school. So yay!

More happy news.. tomorrow is a teacher work day! I don't have to wake up early! And Jesse's meeting day has been rescheduled for Wednesday instead of tomorrow, so he may be able to sleep in a bit with me! woohoo!

Oh yeah.. one final bit of happy news... My mom and dad watched the girls for me while I ran and "tried" to pay rent and pick up ariel's prescription. They fed the kids (and me!!) dinner and made a plate for Jesse that I brought home. I don't have to cook tonight! YAY!

Silence... Blissful Silence

That's what is going on in my home as I type this. All I hear are the "tap. tap. tap." of the keys on my keyboard (oh and Clarity's little snore.. she's sound asleep right next to me). Emmalyn is crashed out on my bed too and Ariel.. well she fell asleep in her room after dramatically going in there and locking the door. Phew. What a day.

All 3 of the girls have been picking at each other and just acting like.. well.. total girls...

"Don't touch me", "Quit doing that!", "Leave me alone", "Moooooommmmm!!!", "I'm going to hurt you", "Make her stop!"

So yes I could run through the house in leaps and bounds jumping for joy that they are all in dreamland at 2:15 pm (but I won't because that might wake up my sleeping beauties).

I really should take this time to go downstairs and clean up.. and I think I will... but just for a moment I wanted to jump on my blog and share my joy. That I am not hearing fighting at this very moment... that I am not playing referee or yelling at any kids to settle down... that I don't feel stressed...that I am peaceful. And what is so amazing to me is how these girls can push me so close to the brink of insanity and then when they fall asleep... I forget how mad I was and everything is once again.. right with the world. Only God could make that happen!

and let me just add one more thing before I go start my quiet housework:

I LOVE THESE GIRLS!!!!

Random Cute Things

It's Friday!!

and I am oh so thrilled! That means if I can just get Emma to sleep in a teensy bit.. I can get some extra zzz's. sweet! I love not having to wake up miss Ariel and rush around trying to get her to wake up, get dressed, get things together, and rush out the door. I love my weekends. Love them, love them, love them! I'm already counting down to spring break. Just a couple more weeks!

Let me tell you a story. Because I'm in the mood to tell a story. It's funny (at least I think so. Others may think I'm a cruel mama but you can think what you want). I have given Clarity AKA Krill... another nickname. As if she needed anymore.. but anyhow. She is now my Chicken Little. Why? Because she constantly seems afraid of something. Mainly three things. Giants, monsters, and ghosts. At night she is afraid of these under the bed, in the closet, in the bathroom. However she is always afraid of our staircase. Day, night, it doesn't matter. There is a giant at the bottom of the staircase that tries to get her (she just informed her daddy & myself he lives in the laundry room which just happens to be to the right of the bottom of the stairs). She will not go down it alone and she will not be downstairs alone. Poor chicken little. So this is a conversation we had today:

Her: Mama I thirsty...
Me: Well go on downstairs and get your drink
Her: But mama.. you have to come
Me: Why?
Her: Because I afraid!
Me: aww are you my chicken Little?
Her: uh huh. I your chicken Little. No wait. I your chicken big!

That just cracked me up. She's a trip! Of course Jesse & I have tried over and over to convince her we have no giants, monsters or ghosts in our home. She doesn't believe us. It doesn't help that we have Ariel telling her the opposite. She loves to see Clarity freak out. Ahhh... sisterly love!

Stellan

My heart & my mind haven't strayed far from this baby boy. I keep going to his mommy's blog for updates and holding my breath as I wait for the page to load... praying I don't see the worst news possible. Praise God he is still here... still in SVT... but hopefully soon they will find the right drugs to bring him out of it and he can go home a healthy, happy baby. He's so precious... just looking at his pictures melts me. As sick as he is, he just seems so content and beautiful.

I have spent a lot of time giving extra kisses and cuddles to my own little angels. Most days, my life is chaos. Absolute chaos. Rushing around getting kids ready, taking Ariel to school then picking her up later, picking up, doing dishes, feeding everyone... there are just not enough hours in the day. But you know what.. we are not promised tomorrow... and I thank GOD for every second of this chaos I call my life. Every, single second.

Please Pray

He's a gorgeous little man, isn't he? I don't know him. I don't know his mother. But one of the girls online posted a prayer request for him and my heart has been aching for his family ever since. He has SVT (supra ventricular Tachycardia) which is a very fast heart rate. He was diagnosed with it in utero and his mother was told he would not survive but God had other plans and he was born a healthy, baby boy. He has recently been admitted into the PICU with SVT again and they are trying everything to get his heart back to a normal rhytm (I read on his mommy's blog it has been staying in the high 200's and he's gone into v-tach a few times). So please, please, please keep this baby in your prayers.

My girls have been driving me bonkers with whining and not listening... and then I read something like this and I want to fall to my knees and just THANK GOD they are alive and healthy enough to drive me crazy.

Keep all of those who aren't so blessed in your thoughts and prayers!

**By the way, if you click the pic at the top with baby Stellan, it will take you to the blog where you can check for updates on him!**

Holy Smokes!

Bad blogger! Bad! A month.. well almost.. has gone by?! wow. Time flies & you can't do a dang thing about it. It's a proven fact.

Today is going to be a busy day for me. Clean, clean, clean. How can 3 kids possibly cause as much chaos as a mini tornado?! My home goes from clean to a wreck in .01 seconds. It's crazy!
Hopefully I can get everything done that I want to and surprise Jesse with a clean, organized home. I say this as I have a one year old hanging on to my leg whining to be held.... lmao.

I'll update more later... my arse needs to get off this computer to get anything done!

Quick Update

wow so much has gone on....

1. Mom, dad and Patrick found a nice little house and have moved out. I'm sure they are VERY happy. lol. I love them and would definitely live with them again if it had to be done.. but I do think the place we are in is just too small for a family of 8 to peacefully coexist because no one had their own space!

2. With mom and dad leaving... Jesse and I had to find a more affordable place of our own. We found a house (a very, very small house) in our price range and were going to go for that. The guy that showed it to us was dead set on us seeing a condo he also had available. We weren't going to.. we were fine with renting the house (even though it meant fencing the backyard so the girls wouldn't get into the creek, buying cabinets for the kitchen because it had NONE, repainting the kitchen because it was a hideous yellow, and being squished into it.. it was as I said before.. very small). But the guy was persistent.. we should see this condo before we made a decision. We went to see the condo... and now... we are in the process of moving into it! It's perfect for us. So God looked out for us yet again! The moving is driving me up the freaking wall. I hate it. Hopefully by tomorrow we will be done.. but there's still so much left to do.

3. we found a car to buy.. a toyota avalon.. and we're getting an awesome deal! Im excited to be able to drive something besides that gas guzzler Chevy silverado Jesse bought....I'll be glad to get 30 mpg instead of 14! lol

I better get back to moving and cleaning. Just wanted to post a quick update!

Happy First Birthday Emmalyn Reese!!!

I knew it would be hard but I had no idea it would be THIS hard. My youngest... my baby... one year old. It's bittersweet. I love seeing her grow. I love seeing her learn. But as I've been packing away baby clothes, I'm realizing this is it. No more babies (unless God has other plans... but Jesse and I are pretty set in just having our three girls). But even as I'm sad that my baby is getting older, I'm also excited. She's doing so much and she's such a trip. Like her sisters, she never fails to make me crack up! She's still practically bald with no teeth.. lol... so she still looks very babyish even though she's been running around on her own two feet since she was 10 months old. I really need to take some recent pics and video. It's been so long since I've done that. Too long.

Happy First Birthday Princess!!!! We love you so much and are so glad you're a part of our lives!!!!

** Explicit **

Holy cow does this suck. It sucks! It sucks! It sucks!

I told you how last Friday we took Claire Bear to Urgent Care and they gave her an antibiotic for her ear and throat (if she had strep.. she wouldn't let them look in her mouth). 3 doses of antibiotics later (3 days) and she wasn't doing ANY better. Not in the least. She was sleeping non stop... she wouldn't eat or drink.... she would cry constantly when she was awake... it was MISERABLE. For her to feel & for me as a mom, to watch.

Off to the ER Jesse and I go. The nurse listens to her and is instantly alarmed. She said she sounded wheezy all the way down. We are whirled away to xray where they do two chest xrays on her (she did FABULOUS). She didn't have pneumonia as feared, but she did have bronchitis. Turns out the kid had bronchitis, strep throat, and a bad ear infection. Can you say poor baby?! OMG. The antibiotics urgent care prescribed just wasn't enough. So they gave her a shot in the henie **OUCH.. she loved that.. NOT**. And prescribed something different. It's just given once a day for five days. She'll be done tomorrow. By the next day there was a MAJOR change in her. Our baby was back! She has been a complete motor mouth and I can't complain. After not hearing her laugh or talk or even seeing a smile for over a week... we are thrilled. That was insanely scary. None of my kids have ever been THAT sick for THAT long.

Now I have been running a fever for a couple of days and today my throat feels so tight and sore that my ears hurt. Wonderful. I guess if I can't kick this in a day or two, my butt will have to go to Urgent Care. yippie.

I emptied out all the girls' toys and sanitized them all. I have got to get rid of this plague. It's awful. Hopefully Jesse (or anyone else) doesn't get it.

Ariel has been home the past two days. Snow days. It hit all around us. Three inches a few miles in one direction and up to half a foot in asheville. Did we get any? nope! Curse Winter! It can go away! I'm not a fan of the storms spring and summer bring by any means... but I'm ready for my family to be HEALTHY.

EXHAUSTED

That word doesn't even touch how I feel. I feel more like zombi-ish. Is that a word? Well if not, it is now. Clarity has spent several nights of this week waking up crying... about every few minutes. At least once an hour. I would ask her, "Are you sick? Are you hurting? Do you have to go to the bathroom? Are you scared? Did you have a bad dream?" and I'd always get a head shake no. I was beginning to get so mad. I was wondering if these were night terrors and I'd just have to never sleep again until she had outgrown them. I was beyond frustrated not knowing what was wrong with her. She had a cold so I thought maybe the congestion had something to do with it. I hate to admit I was so mad. Mad that she wouldn't tell me what was wrong. Mad that I was losing so much sleep. Mad that I didn't know how to help her. My mood was really beginning to suck and this was draining me. I was starting to feel sluggish and sick.

Yesterday Claire Bear wouldn't smile at all. HIGHLY UNLIKE HER. So I took her to urgent care because she did start complaining about her ear and throat. Great. It turns out she has a horrible ear infection in her right ear and her left ear had been infected but was drained. This would explain all the sleepless nights. I just wish she had told me earlier so she (and myself) didn't have to lose so much sleep! She's on a stronger antibiotic this time and it's only once a day versus the 3 x's a day (YAY) so hopefully she'll be on the mend very soon. She did wake up crying a lot last night but nothing like before, so I think even one dose has helped. Tonight should be much, much better. I'm so looking forward to the sleep. And I'm so looking forward to the poor kid feeling better!

Thanks to SarahBeth

I discovered this little gem.
We are naughty! oh well!
Team Edward!

Forgive me for my absence

All the rumors were absolutely true. Once you start reading Twilight, it's hard to find the motivation to do much else! I've already read Twilight, Blue Moon, and I'm on page 400 something of Eclipse. I'm trying to slow down realizing after Eclipse only Breaking Dawn is left...

It's the BEST saga. EVER. PERIOD.

Ariel did wonderful during her dental work. Everything went so smoothly, I couldn't have asked God for anything more. She was running around that night as if nothing had ever happened.

Clarity and Emmalyn have colds they can't seem to kick. Just congestion and coughs caused by that congestion. I'll give them a few more days to get over it before I take them to the pediatrican. Who has seen us more times this winter season than I could have thought possible.

Ariel didn't go to school today. I'm feeling horrible. Just nauseated and exhausted and I have a headache. I didn't feel like getting her up and getting her ready... so she is home with me today. Hopefully I'll feel better soon. I have a ton to do.

Just wanted to update a bit and explain my lack of blogger enthusiasm. Now back to Edward I go.... *smile*

It came! It came!

It wasn't scheduled to arrive until January 24th... but the mailman brought me my slipcased Twilight collection today! I'm already on page 100.. lol... the girls were right... once you start reading, you don't want to stop!

This will give me something to read while my baby is having her dental work done tomorrow and while we're waiting for the anesthesia to wear off (please keep her in your prayers). I don't think I posted this, but they surprised me by bumping that up nearly 2 weeks and they are doing it tomorrow! I'm nervous but it will all be over with soon....

I'm glad I'll have Twilight and Edward to help keep me from climbing the walls with anxiety while waiting. God is good!

Happy 6th Birthday Ariel Brooke!!!

Where has the time gone? At 7:07 pm it will have been six years since Ariel came into our lives. I wanted to share something she told me yesterday.

HER: tomorrow's my birthday! Mama, are you excited?!
ME: *jokingly* nope
HER: Why???
ME: Because it means you're getting older... what happened to my baby?
HER: aww mama.. I'll always be your baby whether I'm 6 or 20 or 40!

WOW. That just seems beyond her years for her to say something like that. But she's right!

There are no words

to describe how nervous I am! We had Ariel's consult with the pediatric dentist today. They are going to put her under... I mean seriously... to do her fillings. Having never been put under myself, my stomach is in knots over doing it to my baby. It won't be for another three weeks or so. Can you imagine how much of a mess I'll be when the time comes, when I'm this worried now? Jesse will have to take that day off because I'm going to bawl. I know I will. She'll be fine though. They are going to do the procedure at Asheville Surgery Center which is a part of Mission Hospital. They've been doing this for years & years & years and have never really had an incident. Of course there's always that chance and that's the part that scares me. But they said she won't be in hardly any pain when she comes out of it. He said maybe a bit of irritation in her nose and throat from the tubes, but other than that, she'll probably be playing that night. He says kids bounce back so quick. And all of this will be over. They also said some of her "cavities" are probably something she was born with...and after this we probably won't have a thing to worry about. This whole procedure will take maybe an hour but we'll be in the hospital for half the day.. most of it being pre-op and observation. Oh joy!

So that's our news. She LOVED this dentist & did amazing.I am just so incredibly proud of her. She's so calm about everything and really and truly is a wonderful kid (even if she can drive me crazy with her "I know everything" attitude). So while she thinks it's "cool" she'll be asleep so she can "be in dreamland dreaming of riding on a triceratops" while they fix her teeth... mommy has to hide the fact that I am terrified and this will be on my mind every moment until this is OVER.

I also wanted to add that I got a very pleasant surprise when I got home. Mom, dad & Patrick cleaned up the house while I was gone. That was very nice and I'm very thankful!

It's amazing

How much an upbeat attitude makes life seem. Even when things are tough... to go with the flow... is so much better than sulking and asking "why me?". I've been making an effort daily to be happy. reguardless. and it's working. I AM happy.

I can't thank God enough for the blessings he has put upon us. We have had our hard times but I believe we'll continue to grow from it and come out stronger in the end. It took us going through all these for me to decide that I'm worth going back to college so I can get a decent job to help provide for these girls. I am still so excited about this decision.. I just hope God lets everything fall into place and I do get to go. I just have to pray about it and let things unfold.

What is really cool is when you look back at something that at the time seems like a major tragedy and you now know that it was for the best. Jesse losing all of those jobs this past summer... It was unbelievable and I kept thinking "WHY?!". I mean he lost his job at the granite place.. then when he was doing remodels on homes.. then the car salesman....

but look... building and remodels have slowed down dramatically... the VERY day they told him they were letting him go from the car dealership (even though they had just hired him the week before)... the company he is with called. You can't say God didn't have a hand in what was going on. Not long after he joined this company... the auto industry went way downhill. So all of those layoffs in the end were the biggest BLESSINGS. Who would have thought? He is now doing something healthier (the granite thing is so unhealthy for a person's lungs)... he has steady work... and it pays as well as all the other things he was doing. He is happy where he is. It's where God finally put him. All I can do is keep praying that it is God's will that he is there and that things continue to go well and he has job security.

My whole point is... when something is going on and it seems like your world is collapsing.. GOD will take care of you. How people don't believe is beyond me. I would be a mess without my faith. And coming through all we've been through last year... and realizing how God has carried us through even when it didn't seem like it at the time... just makes my faith even stronger.

So I totally lied

I had to do it. When I saw this layout for my blog... I knew... I HAD TO USE IT! Now this one... I can definitely deal with seeing for a long time!

so much to do

God grant me motivation!!! I have got to do something with this house. I have girl clothes to pack away, girl clothes to pull out and wash.... I swear having three girls was a blessing and a curse. It saved us money with not having to buy new clothes constantly... but then there's the issue I have now. Constantly pulling out and packing boxes anytime one jumps into the next size! Which is a huge mess. There are clothes everywhere.

I will work on this and cleaning my room today. So I say. I had tons of motivation yesterday... but what happened? I got slammed with a headache the size of Texas that lasted from the moment I opened my eyes until they shut last night. That threw my plans out the window. Today is a new day, though, now I just need to find that motivation again. Good luck with that. lol.

But at this very moment.. I'm starving.. So I'm going to go find some breakfast and then figure out where I want to start. First things first.. I need to get my arse off the computer!

I fought... and LOST!

I fought this whole "Twilight" frenzy. I didn't see how it could possibly be as wonderful as everyone was saying. Well I lost this fight. BIG TIME. I decided I'd order the four book series.. unfortunately it's backordered (who knew?) so I decided to watch the movie yesterday.

OH.MY.GOSH!!!

For those of you who were like me (living under a rock) and really don't know what all the fuss is about... This is a love story. A fantastic, completely amazing, you wish you were Bella love story. lol. Edward is a vampire (the hottest vampire EVER).. Bella is human... they love each other.. but you can imagine it's hard for them to be together.

So anyways.. now I CANNOT wait for my book series to get here. From what I've heard, once you start reading, things can go downhill at home. You want to eat, live, breathe, and sleep Twilight. One of my friends thinks the books are laced with crack. LOL. I'm already a huge fan just by the movie so I'm looking forward to feeding my addiction with the books that give you so much more to the story.

I'm pathetic. oh yeah.. and I love Edward.

Well....

First of all thank you everyone for your prayers and uplifting thoughts for us and Miss Ariel! God is Great!

We took Ariel to her appointment yesterday. I was so mad because when we got there, they made us wait in the "sick" waiting room. I was thinking "OMG" and wanted to rip their heads off. I kept muttering how if she wasn't sick going in, she sure would be when we left (as well as Emma and Clarity). I was fit to be tied.

We got back there eventually (the wait at this office is rediculous.. always). The doctor checks the lymph nodes all over her body and keeps saying "well this seems harmless. Probably a virus". I was about ready to scream... but I did a great job hiding that and just let her examine her.... she looks in Ariel's throat and it's red. She says "we'll do a quick strep swab.. and if that comes back negative, we'll do a CBC panel just to be safe". Low and behold.. the kid has strep throat! No fever, no sore throat, no nothing but she tested positive. So we're praying that's why the lymph node on her neck got bigger like it did. The doctor did say if it doesnt start going back down in two weeks, to bring her back and we'll do that CBC panel just to double check things. That makes me feel better. So I'm praying her lymph node just goes back down. But knowing me, I'll take her in and have them do that panel just to get me to stop worrying all the dang time!

The girls went to the dentist for the first time yesterday. They both did GREAT. I wasn't allowed to go back there with them.. but the dentist said she couldn't believe how well behaved and pleasant they are. Ariel's report wasn't too great.. she has cavities, not terrible ones, but little ones between her teeth. I kind of figured.. this being her first visit and she's six years old... but the dentist said she can tell we brush her teeth very well, she just has deep grooves around her molars and that's where they are. They have referred her to another dentist (this was my choice) because I have the option of getting them all fixed at once and she'll be asleep (they dont put her under general... it's some drink that makes them loopy and sleepy). I opted to do that because her visit with this dentist went so well and I dont want to ruin that comfortable association she has with them.. or make her fear that office. So this other dentist will be in touch with us this week to make an appointment to get a consult and get this all over with. Clarity got a clean bill of dental health. Yay.

So all and all, things didn't go too bad yesterday at all. Ariel is on antibiotics for her strep and was actually cleared to go to school today. Which by the way, we got a two hour delay today due to the snow that started coming down yesterday evening. Always a plus! We were in t-shirts the other day.. now there's snow on the ground! Crazy weather!

Well I'm off to clean and take care of these two crazy girls I still have at home with me...

God bless you all and have a great day!

I can

go on & on & on about my girls and their senses of humor. I think they have their dad's "I think I'm a comedian" gene. And sure enough.. they crack me up on a daily basis.

Clarity... she thinks she is queen of the tv and remote. If you sit down to watch something, she'll try to change the channel. Sometimes she succeeds and you have to threaten her life to get her to leave it alone. Okay.. maybe you don't have to be that dramatic... but anyhow.

Yesterday such was the case. I was trying to watch something and she goes on playing her role as TV Commando. She holds the remote and looks at me in all seriousness, "I like Dora. Do you like Dora?" . "I like Max and Ruby. Do you like Max and Ruby?"..."I like Diego. Do you like Diego?". She's being nice and trying to compromise on finding something we both like. But do you see my options here? LOL. And if I dare to be bold and say I don't like her shows... she cries fake tears and whines... but then even she catches on to how pathetic she sounds and it turns to giggles. She can be aggrivating at times, but her laugh is contagious. At least for me!

Emmalyn is getting more and more personality. The girl is taking off everywhere. She's got this walking thing about down. It's too cute to see this bald, toothless baby walking around. She's a "toddler" now. But she's still such a baby...at least she looks the part! She's such a piece of sunshine. Her smile can light up a room. And her giggles.. wow. She is just so much fun!

What can I say about Ariel? I can say a lot. She's at that age... where she knows everything. I don't know what she needs parents for. lol. She can be mouthy, but she's a great kid with an awesome heart. She's also got a way with making me laugh. Be it by a silly dance or a song she makes up... or an outrageous story... or a funny face... she can bring a smile to your face if you're down.

I'm lucky to be given the opportunity for smiles and laughs everyday. No matter what is going on in my life... my girls are a joy. A sense of humor is vital in living a happy life... and I don't think I have anything to worry about with these three around.