My Poor Pumpkin!

This morning I was supposed to meet with a girl, her fiance, and their four year old about babysitting for them. So I'm cleaning the house and getting ready and Clarity keeps laying in the middle of the floor. I figured she was just having a hard time getting up and moving.. which isn't unusual for her. I did ask her if she was sick and she looked at me and said "uh huh". I still brushed it off... she wasn't running a fever or anything so I kept doing what I was doing. Well I hear Ariel call me, "mama! Clarity is sick! She just threw up!". So I go into their play room (the only room with carpet of course) and see a huge splatter of throw up. Then there's another one in the kitchen. Clarity's not crying (Thank goodness...I was afraid she'd hit freak mode since this is her first time really throwing up) but she's walking in circles spitting and has a horrible face. The first thing I did before cleaning it was I called that girl and left her a message. She's newly pregnant and I didnt want to expose her or her four year old to a stomach virus. Lord knows no one wants to deal with that. I dont know if I'll hear from her again or not but that doesnt matter. It would have been nice to make some money but my priority right now is my sick baby girl. She's been sleeping on the loveseat most of the day but actually woke up to eat lunch so fingers crossed it stays down! I'm also hoping none of the rest of us get it. I guess that would be one way to bring on labor.. but I really dont want to go that route. lol.

Oh I wanted to post pics of some of the stuff we bought for the baby last weekend.

Here's the Rainforest Playpen with bassinet. It plays music, has a nightlight, a mobile and all that stuff. Plus it's cute!

And here is the carseat. We got a graco

snugride in Jungle adventure. It has these cute lions, hippos, giraffes, and alligators on it.

I'm having trouble finding a pic of the diaper bag we got. It's a big brown Classic Pooh one. It has the older version of Pooh and Piglet on it and it's sooo cute but guy enough that Jesse will carry it around. Plus it has tons of room! I'm sure I'll get around to taking real pics of the stuff we bought as soon as it's all ready. We still havent set anything up yet. Not sure why we're wating.

Well my heart is pounding. Clarity just came in crying about her foot. I look at it and it was bright red and looked like she was having a bad reaction of some sort. So immediately I'm grabbing her up and examining her feet wondering if I should make my call to Jesse to come home or 911. She stopped crying and it went away so I'm wondering if she stood in front of one of our heaters and that made it all red. I swear nothing makes you worry like your babies! She's fine now. Her and Ariel are laying in the living room on the blankets Heather made for them (which are soooo cute and soft! I need to get pics of those too) and they are watching the Backyardigans.

Clarity ate two helpings of chicken and dumplings and drank a whole glass of chocolate milk. I wanted her to take it easy and eat a bit and drink water... but nope... not her. She was hungry! lol. So far so good. I'm saying my prayers!

Thought I should add

A complete tragedy. Prayers and thoughts are with his family, friends and loved ones. We'll miss you Heath!!

More on this past weekend...

Since I had my big pregnancy whine party, I'll talk about the girls and what we did this past weekend. We took them to Chuck E Cheese this past Sunday since we got out of David's Bridal and having dinner a bit late. Of course I forgot my darn camera at home and didn't get any pics, so that figures! The place was a madhouse. Linda, Ricky and Brittany stopped in to see the girls for a bit and they loved that! They also loved seeing Lori and David over the weekend. Ariel said she remembered David and we talked about how he was a police.. that's her big thing now.. she wants to be a police. lol. Lori is being so sweet about letting both of the girls be flower girls in the wedding. I can't wait to see it.. I bet it will be so cute. She picked the most adorable dresses for them to wear. They looked like little Cinderellas when we had them try them on! Beautiful! Ariel's excited for the wedding.. she keeps asking me how many tomorrows away it is. Hopefully both of the girls will be happy and cooperative on May 3rd and the wedding will go off perfectly. I'm sure it will be gorgeous. I'm looking forward to it! Since I didnt have a wedding, I'll live vicariously through Lori. lol.

Tired and Done!

Well this pregnancy WAS flying by... now each minute seems to just tick tick tick. 37 weeks and 2 days. It's getting really difficult now. Nausea is back in full force and I never feel like eating. I asked my doctor about it and she said it's completely normal and sometimes it's just easier to throw up. I dont want to! Been there, done that, and dont want to look back! Also found out the baby is posterior. Wonderful! This means it's back is facing my back instead of the other way around like it's supposed to. She said if it doesnt turn, it probably will during labor but this makes labor long, painful, and difficult. It also means bad back labor.. which I pray I dont have to suffer through because I HATE back pain. yay! Should have known I wouldnt have a breezy labor like I did with the girls. The whole pregnancy has been a pain in my butt! lol. I guess we'll see how things go within the next few weeks.



Jesse and I did get our carseat, playpen/bassinet, diaper bag and a few sleepers while we were in Asheville this past weekend. So we're ready enough! lol. For some reason buying this stuff made it hit me that this is really happening. Jesse of course thought I was crazy but I was nearly having a panic attack thinking about it. There is no turning back. I'm going to be a mama to three. Crazy!



We had a fun weekend. It was nice seeing Lori and David. This is the dress I ended up picking out for my bridesmaid dress. It comes with optional spaghetti straps. I guess I'll decide if I'll wear them or not once I get it altered and see how it looks both ways. I love this dress.. at first I wasn't sure about it, but it really is pretty! I'm glad Lori picked a gorgeous color too. I love it!

So ready... so not!

36 weeks and one day... and the countdown is on. I'm almost to the full term mark of 37 weeks but that doesnt mean much to me. lol. Ariel came at 39 weeks and 3 days and Clarity came at 40 weeks and 1 day so I don't consider myself a candidate for going much earlier than that anymore. Jesse told me that was a silly way of thinking... I think he's paranoid. It's sneaking up on him. lol.

We still havent even gotten a carseat or the bassinet yet... so if I were to go early, we'd be in trouble. I think he wants to go back to Target this weekend while we're in Asheville and pick up the stuff we were looking at last weekend. So not only are we not ready for this baby to come in that aspect, I'd like to get the house totally ready and get our taxes done (OMG that is a chore and a half and I HATE it).

My 36 week appointment was yesterday and went okay. As good as could be expected anyways since they had to do the strep B test. I'll find out next Monday if that came out positive or not.. knowing my luck this pregnancy it probably did. lol. I'm still gaining weight (ugh that can stop anytime now, I'm at 130 lbs) and my blood pressure was good. Baby is head down still but high (big surprise.. I could have told her that being I can barely breathe all the time). No dialation yet but she said my cervix is soft. Maybe we'll have some progress soon. Well even that wouldnt mean much... lol.. I was dialated 3 cm for over 3 weeks with Clarity and she still made her appearance a day late! Stinker!

Ariel's birthday was terrible! Clarity decided to be an escape artist and snuck out the door (I always check the latch as soon as I get up, but that morning, I just forgot). Anyways I realize the door was open and go flying outside to see a red car with some lady asking Clarity where her mama was. I scoop up clarity and the lady starts screaming at me what a horrible mother I was, how dare I let my baby run the streets and that was a good way to get her killed. As if I wasn't beating myself up over it already! I felt if she were about to stone me. It was an accident. A stupid one on my part.. but that's what it was. I spent the entire day and most of the night (I think I stopped at midnight) crying and feeling horrible. We were supposed to take Ariel out to Chuck E cheese that night but since I was so depressed we waited until the next day. We did end up having a lot of fun and I took some super cute pics with the digital... but yesterday I realized Ariel had gotten it down to take "her" pictures and deleted them all! I'll have to take them back this Saturday. Jesse, the girls and I are meeting Lori in Asheville to go to Davids Bridal and try and find me a bridesmaids dress and get the girls fitted for their flower girl dresses. I'm looking forward to it.. just hope I can find something that looks decent on me!

Worry and stress

They suck! Badly! I dont know if it's the pregnancy or what but I will wake up in the wee hours of the morning with my mind racing about all the different things in my life I'm worried about. Money...bills.. and lately... Ariel starting kindergarten! I know it's not until August but I'm dreading it. I won't be there for my baby and it kills me that I won't know what's going on with her. If she's being picked on, if she's sad, if she doesn't understand something. She keeps asking me how long until she starts because she's nervous and not ready to go. Her being worried about it makes me worried about it. Will she adjust okay? She's such a mama's girl and even though she's a total tomboy, she's super sensative too. God it just kills me I'm stressing out over all of this already!

She's going to be five tomorrow *cry*. It's just hitting me how fast the past five years have gone by. I look at pictures of her as a newborn.. a toddler.. and now a gorgeous little girl and I just break down. Why do they have to grow so fast? Why can't I just slow it down? Life just seems to breeze by once you have a child. I wanted to just curl up and cry last night realizing every year they get older is a year Jesse and I are getting older. I just pray to God I have a long, long time to spend with these beautiful people God has blessed me with.

Okay *deep breath* I need to dry my tears and get my face cleared up before Ariel realizes I'm upset. Right now she's outside playing in the snow. Yes, snow! We got a couple of inches last night and she's having a blast. I let her play out for a few minutes then bring her in to get her warmed up.. then she's back out again. She's thrilled.

Okay I definately must go now. Clarity just walked in and appearently little miss got into the nesquick powder. Her face and hands look like she's been playing in mud! Time for a bath! Thank God I have these angels to cheer me up when I feel worry and stress getting the best of me.

34 weeks 2 days

and I am so over this pregnancy crap! lol. This time around has been unbelievably difficult compared to Ariel & Clarity. A few weeks ago I woke up with this horrible sharp pain right under my sternum and I could hardly breathe let alone move. That dang pain lasted from 5 am until 3 pm. It stopped right as I was deciding I had suffered enough and was going to the ER. I was worried it was a gallbladder attack. But it hasn't returned... THANK GOD.

I did have to go to the ER the other night. My ankle had been hurting (felt like a sprain even though I hadn't done anything to it) for a few days. Well when the pain started moving up into my calf I started looking it up online and worried myself sick that I had DVT. So we went to the ER.. rather be safe than sorry...and they did an ultrasound to make sure there were no blood clots. All was clear so that was a huge relief. Just another crappy effect this baby is having on my body.

I am a total whiner! I'll be glad to have this baby just so I dont hear myself. I hate whiners. I hate crybabies.. and yet that's all I'm doing lately. Gah! Just a few more weeks!

On a bright note.. my last doctor appointment went well. I'm up to 128 lbs so she was happy about that. Baby's head is down. They are not doing another ultrasound (boo!) because they said my uterus has been measuring right on for being due Feb 18th. They said they'll use caution though and if I go into labor around 37 weeks (please God let it happen.. lol) even though that's full term for the Feb. date they'll have me have the baby in Asheville just in case because they have a neonatal unit. If I go a week past Feb. 18th.. I get induced. So either way it's happening next month. It can't happen soon enough for me!

We shall see!

Winter storm warning! Supposedly we could get between 4-6 inches of snow starting tomorrow. What a way that would be to start the new year! But I'm not so optimistic.. I'm always hoping to see some nice winter weather and then they change it to rain at the last minute or it misses us. But then again.. that was when we lived in Murphy. My hopes might not be so squashed here. lol.

My house is nearly completely in order. I can't believe it. All I have left to do is put a bunch of clothes away... mostly compliments of Ariel & Clarity. How do two little girls aquire sooooo much stuff? It's insane! I'm hoping to work on getting that done today and then we have a few random boxes of "junk" I can muddle through and toss stuff or put it away but I'm really impressed at how much has actually gotten accomplished. Our plumbing is really screwy right now and our landlord is supposed to have a plumber come out. One toilet is barely working, the other we're refusing to use, when we run the washer (which I havent done lately because of this) the suds come up in the toilet we're not using. lol. Now for the fun tidbit.. our house smells like shyte. I have no idea what's wrong but it needs to get fixed.. ASAP! That's one reason I'm glad we rent, when something serious happens... it's not us that has to deal with it!

Mom and dad are coming over today. I know the girls are thrilled. I think that's the only thing Ariel misses about Murphy.. being able to see Grandma and Abu all the time. But she really loves it here. Actually we all do. It's a nice change and I'm happy we did it.

I had a panic moment this morning that I havent had the whole time I've been pregnant. That "will I love this baby as much as I do the others" feeling. I had that complete fear when I was pregnant with Claire and of course, it was a complete waste of my time feeling that way because when she came it was like she had been here all along and I love both of my girls the same... with all my heart. I guess I'm really worried about giving equal attention to three. I mean with two.. Jesse can devote to one, me the other and then trade. Three is going to be crazy. But then I think we have two wonderful little girls that are going to help give the third attention. Ariel is actually excited (for now she's over her jealousy thing and is looking forward to her new baby brother or sister) and I know Clarity is going to be thrilled. I just have to trust God that it will all fall into place and that this is what is meant for our family.

2008... Right around the corner

Hard to believe another year has come... and gone. I dont know what it is but the older I get, the faster time goes. My little princess is going to start kindergarten this coming year. I knew it was coming, but wow, it still just shocks me. I actually laid awake for hours the other night thinking about that and worrying. worrying kids would pick on her or that she'll feel left out. Worried she'll miss being home and be sad. I know she'll be fine, but my mind really plays things up sometimes. Still so hard to believe how fast the girls are growing.

Christmas was good. We just stayed home and celebrated with the girls and that was nice. I missed mom, dad & Patrick but I'm sure they'll be coming to visit soon. They got the girls a lot of nice stuff and I made sure to tell Ariel it was from Grandma, Abu, Patrick & of course Santa. I can say one thing about Christmas this year.. it was nice not hearing anyone gripe about anything. lol.

I'm still waiting for my snow! We've only seen flurries but I'm hoping living out here closer to the Smokeys, we'll see more than we did in Murphy. I think we're supposed to see snow showers on new year's but we'll see. So far everytime they've said that, it's just been rain.

Well I better go and help Jess finish unpacking and cleaning. I'm finally seeing light at the end of the tunnel in that department. Slowly but surely!

Christmas Pics

Yay!

Jesse is now working a normal 8-5 job Monday through Friday. He's working at a granite shop in Asheville and making just as much as he did doing satellite work. He's still going to do the satellite thing on Saturdays but at least we'll always have sundays together and evenings. I dont know what we'll do actually being able to spend time together! We're really excited. We'll only have to fill up the gas tank once a week and he'll always be a half hour away. I cant believe it. It's funny because he's the only American guy there. Everyone else is from like Russia, Ukraine, or Turkey. There's only two men that can speak english so theres a bit of a language barrier. That's interesting to say the least but they really seem to like him so that's good!

I can't believe how close Christmas is! OMG. I have so much to do. Last night I had a rough time with contractions and a backache. I nearly made Jesse take me in to be checked but I fell asleep and all seems well today. How can they expect you to take it easy when you have a house to take care of and two other kids? I went in to the doctor the other day and she has to consult with the midwife on my due date. By my period it should be mid February (they say 18th, I say 22nd). Yet during my ultrasound the baby was measuring like it's due March 4th. The doctor I saw the other day said they should use the March date because they generally go by the ultrasound but my uterus was measuring like I'm due around the 18th. So she's going to talk to the midwife and see if they're going to keep the Feb. date, move it to March, or do another ultrasound to double check the baby's size. I'm hoping for the ultrasound. lol. They better not move me to March.. I'm having doubts about making it into February!

Well that's about all that's new for now. I need to go clean my floors. Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays (I've totally got my Nsync going and I'm so in the Christmassy mood)!

Moved in.. not exactly settled!

We're in our new house now. I hate moving. I hate it! I hate it! I hate it! Did I mention I hate moving? lol. But we're finally here. I still have a lot to do but I need Jesse's help. It seems if I'm standing for too long or I work at something too hard.. I start getting contractions and my tailbone starts throbbing. So I have to take it very easy. I'm only 31 weeks.. much too early to deal with that stuff.

Oh I can't believe I havent had the time to update this blog but I passed the 3 hour glucose test. It was miserable as I expected and Jesse and I swore I wasn't going to keep from throwing up that first hour.. but somehow I trudged through it. My numbers didn't go down like they were supposed to, but I wasn't above the limit so they considered me passing. I was so glad. I go to the doctor in a couple of days so I should be able to find out when I get my second ultrasound.

Well the past few days have been so much fun (insert sarcasm in my voice here). My parents have spent the past two nights which has been great, especially because they were so helpful. But the first night they stayed Ariel complained she had a belly ache. I asked if she felt sick and she said no, it just hurt. I gave her a children's pepto tablet and we went to bed. Not even an hour later I wake up to find her sitting there just throwing up everywhere. Poor Jesse woke up and was in a daze. Its like he didn't grasp what was happening then she let out a huge flow of it and he jumps up "OH GOD". lol. So I got her in the bath while he stripped the bed (thank God we use a waterproof mattress cover). After I got her out, I made her and I a little bed on the floor with blankets because since our mattress cover was dirty, I didnt want to risk her getting sick on the bed. Well it's a good thing.. she threw up every 45 mins to an hour from 11:30 pm until 5:30 am. It was so sad to watch. I didn't even sleep. I wanted to be awake to comfort her everytime it happened. She's so brave.. she never cried. She would start to panic and cry and I'd just rub her back and hold her hair and tell her that she was fine and that I was there and her body was just getting rid of a bad germ. The next day she was okay.. ran a fever all day and slept. Only drank gatorade. Then today she woke up begging for popcorn. Nothing else would do. I finally gave in and gave her some and then she threw up on my couch! I felt bad because I actually got mad. Really mad. Not at her.. I know it wasn't her fault, but at the situation that I had to clean my new couch and pray the puke smell didnt stay. She seems okay now. She's eaten chicken noodle soup, drank gatorade, water & sprite and even ate some cheeseburger and fries from McDonalds (her request). So I pray we're over the worst and that Clarity doesnt get it. So far so good *knock on wood*. I despise stomach viruses!

Let's see.. what else. Oh Jesse's looking for another job. We moved all the way over here because they were always sending him this way and we couldnt afford the gas. Now that we're here, I bet you can't guess where he's been being sent to lately. *rolls eyes* Maybe things will work out. I pray so.

Well Patrick is sick. He's in a mental hospital right now being evaluated. They've given us a diagnosis but he wants it to remain confidential and that's his right. The only reason I know is because it needs to go in the girls medical history. The good news is at least someone has finally taken the time to figure it out. I always thought he was doing things for attention or just because... I had no idea he was sick like he is. Things will be okay now that we know what is going on. Not sure when he'll be released (it wont be long) but right now he's only 10 mins from our new place so that helps that mom and dad can stay here and then go visit him during visitation hours. Mom's dealing with a lot right now and it doesnt help my grandma wants to pry and is dying to find out what's going on with him. She's never cared any other time.. why bother now? And her comments about him being on crack certainly dont help. Mom told her we finally have a diagnosis but she doesnt want it spread all over cherokee county. Grandma got all offended.. "oh so I'm going to spread it around?" um... duh. lol. Of course she'd tell Linda and then Linda would tell Ricky and Ricky would tell who he wanted to. It's a vicious cycle. I like how well Grandma kept my pregnancy quiet so I had time to mail my announcements out (they still sit in a drawer.. why bother now that she told everyone). Sorry for my little tirade. Just frustrated that people dont back off and give my family space when we need it.

If you want to help us.. just pray. That's what we need.

okay not so good news!

That was terrible! The glucose test, I mean. It didnt help that I barely got any sleep the night before because of nausea and heartburn. On the way to the doctor's office I felt like I was about to be sick any second. I decided to distract myself and read my People magazine and whoo did that make things worse. I got such a bad case of carsickness! I never did throw up but I was sure concerned. lol. well we get to the doctor's office and it was time to drink that syrup garbage. I was so not in the mood. She pulls the bottle out of the fridge and I'm thinking, "there is no way I can ever drink all of that". Luckily I only had to drink half. I got the option of fruit punch or orange and decided to try fruit punch. YUCK! It burned my throat going down and with every swallow I felt like I was on an episode of Fear Factor struggling to keep it down. My nurse was such a sweetheart (she always is) and just kept asking me how I was feeling and laughing with me about how God awful it was. So I got it all down (and the good news.. it stayed there amazingly) and Jesse and I waited for our hour to be up. When it was I was surprised to find out they can now poke you in your finger and get the results then and there. Anemia check came back good.. surprise.. I was anemic with the girls. Then she made this face and Jesse and I knew something wasnt good. I failed the glucose test! nooooo! I so wasn't expecting that.. passed with flying colors with both of the girls. I told Jesse this one had better be his boy! So now I get to go back next Wednesday morning and drink a WHOLE bottle (dear Lord is that even possible? I could barely handle the half) of that mess and then get blood drawn every hour for three hours. I pray I pass. If not it means I have gestational diabetes and she said they would transfer me to the hospital for more testing and I guess that puts my pregnancy in the high risk category. Gah!

Other than that the appointment went good. I'm up to 124 lbs which means I've gained about 14 pounds in 2 1/2 months which I guess is okay. Especially considering the morning sickness made me lose like 7 or 8. I did find out they are going to do another ultrasound to get more of an idea when this little one is going to make an appearance. so that made me happy! Ultrasounds are always fun! Jesse said this was our last chance to find out.. and I said no way, we've waited this long, we can finish without knowing! lol.

Mom and dad came over and stayed with the girls yesterday which was a major help since we didn't have to drag them to the doctor appointment and bore them to tears. They made cupcakes together and played playstation, watched shrek 3, and all that so the girls had a great day. Mom helped me clean the top floor and that's done. Now we just have to clean and pack this floor and the basement and we can work on being out of here! Hopefully by the end of next week...

Waynesville here we come!

Finally! We found a house and we'll be moving in the next week or two. I'm sooooo excited and praying this move will be good for us and help us out. It's a brick 3 bedroom/2 bath with a fenced in grass yard (yay for the girls!!) and storage outside (yay for no clutter in the house!!). It's near downtown Waynesville and it's just a cute area. We went driving through downtown and it was just adorable because you have all the shops decorated for Christmas and just tons of people walking up and down the sidewalk. Such a change from Murphy! We're only 30 minutes to Asheville so we have an actual city with a mall and everything just a short drive away but we're living in a smaller community that I've heard is really safe and friendly. We told our property manager for this house we were moving and she's been so sweet about it. She says she understands why we're having to move and she's trying to line up someone to get in here as soon as we move so the owners dont get all bent out of shape for us breaking our lease early. God bless her!

Thanksgiving was nice. It was great getting out and seeing Grandma and paw paw. The girls have missed them. Brandon is really growing.. he's a cutie. I was completely exhausted Thanksgiving night... actually I feel completely exhausted all the time! I never get much sleep at night anymore but it's worth it.

Tomorrow is a doctors appointment.. I get to drink my glucose drink at 8:30 in the morning! eek! That stuff always makes me feel awful so I'm not looking forward to it and I'm praying it doesnt make me throw up with it being so early in the morning. We'll see. Hopefully all will go well! I'll update tomorrow on anything I find out.

I can't believe how fast time is going by! I'm 28 weeks and 2 days (and lazy me still hasnt taken the first picture of my tummy. I REALLY need to do that). Third trimester and I'm really feeling it. Between keeping up with the kids, the baby, and trying to pack and clean I feel myself getting worn out so fast. We're so not ready for this baby yet though! It's a scary thought that in less than 9 weeks I will be considered "full term". I need more time Lord! lol.

I've really got to start doing better!

me posting a new entry once a week or every two weeks is becoming a bad habit. I really need to update the blog at least every other day.

I am so tired right now. I finally got around to cleaning the fish tank. Clarity had dumped nearly an entire thing of fish food (and it was a big container) a couple of weeks ago. Sadly we only had a sole survivor..lol.. and Jesse and I have been too busy to be bothered cleaning that big tank, so the fish has been living the high life (not) in a bucket. Well I did it today. What a mess! There was so much algae, not to mention all the different treasures I found Clarity has tossed in. our fish is so happy now swimming around in his sparkling tank. I'm pretty darn proud of myself too. It took me hours to get it done and my body is so sore from doing it. I can't wait until Jesse comes home and sees it since we've always considered the fish "his" job.

Jesse's still working so I havent heard from him if he's called the woman back about the house. I can't believe how fast rentals go in the areas we're wanting to move to! The paper had just come out on Thursday and by Friday all of the rental homes were taken! Gah! There was one.. a three bedroom in downtown waynesville (exactly where we've been wanting to be). So Jesse was hoping after work today it would still be there and we could go look at it and maybe give the woman a deposit. We're worried it's either 1) going to be taken or 2) be a total dump! lol. I guess we'll find out either way when Jesse's off work and gives her a call. Praying God really pulls something through for us. We've got to get out of here!

Here's a shocker that just hit me today. In two days I will be in my last trimester! Woah. I dont understand how both of the pregnancies with the girls seemed to drag on and this one is flying by. Probably because I'm pretty sure it's my last and want to cherish it and because we're soooooo not ready!

Oh and to update on the sickness... we all ended up getting Ariel's cold and that seemed to linger forever! But I think we're all good now (I still have some congestion) and I finally got the girls in the other day for flu shots! I totally hate cold/flu season!

Poor Bittles!

Poor Ariel is a sick little thing right now. She started having a funny feeling in her throat while we were trick or treating. Then the next day she didnt feel much better. Yesterday she just slept and slept and slept... I dont think she was awake more than 20 minutes the entire day. She's still running a fever and now she's got a horrible cough. Pray for my little girl. If she's not better by the end of this weekend... off to Urgent Care we go. And please God somehow let Clarity escape getting this. Please!

Halloween Pics!

Okay speedy update!

Wow it's been a while since I've been on here. So here's a quick update (you know my quick stuff..it will probably be a novel).

We took the girls to Six Flags on the last day of the season. We all had a blast.. even though I swore by the parking lot it was going to be horribly crowded.. it was fine! The weather couldn't have been more perfect and the girls got to ride a ton! Jesse and I had to buy season passes for next year (boohoo..not) because our print and go tickets somehow had already been used even though we weren't the ones that used them..hmmmm. So since season passes were only $20 more a piece then regular admission, we went that route. I'm sure we'll be taking the girls a ton when they open back up! Already looking forward to it!

Halloween was good. We took the girls to a thing called "Alien Invasion Area 51" held at a school on the 30th. For the Learning Center to hav done it, it was awesome. They had games, a bouncy land, dj with dancing, an area 51 walk through (which Ariel and Jesse did together. Clarity slept the whole time so mom, dad and I just chilled in chairs with her). Then on Halloween mom and dad came with us and we took the girls Trick or Treating. Jesse adn I bought the girls a gingerbread haunted house to decorate on Halloween but we were so wiped out... we did it on November 1st. So they had a 3 day Halloween extravaganza. lol. Jesse is now 26!

I've been feeling good. Baby is moving quite a lot now and likes to hang out and kick under the ribcage. lol. I'm getting so anxious to meet this little one and I've still got a few months to go yet!

Jesse's been working but has had a bad couple of weeks. Hopefully he's out of the slump and things will look up. We're still looking for a place to move to. I put an ad up on Craigslist and the Iwanna so hopefully we'll find the "right place" soon.

On a good note we got our furniture (well the living room set.. dining room set wont be ready for another month). So we're thrilled. It's so comfy and nice! Loving it!

The silence is broken

word is finally out! My parents now know their third grandchild is on its way. I was so glad they came over today. The stress of money and probably just the changes this pregnancy makes my body feel, were overwhelming today. I was on the verge of a major panic attack when I handed Ariel the phone and asked her to call Grandma and see if she had the day off. Thank God.. they were already on their way over and were here in a matter of minutes! I really need my mommy and daddy today.

As I was sweeping the floor, I ran and handed Clarity a pregnancy announcement that we had made and told her to go give it to Grandma. She happily did so. I think mom just thought it was some cute little card I had made. Then she read it. lol. Her reaction was priceless, I wish I had the video camera going. She said "Holy Sh**" I think five times and stood up. I told her I wasn't sure if that was a good reaction or not. lol. She said it was. Then she showed my dad the announcement and he seemed genuinely happy too. They said it was about time they've gotten some good news. So that was a relief. I think they were really suprised at how far along I am. I told them at least they dont have that long of a wait now!

Well Jesse finally gets tomorrow off. Thank God.. there's so much we need to get done. I probably should go to the dmv and get me a new license since I have no idea where mine is. We have to do our grocery shopping, blah blah blah. A day of errands. Poor Jesse.. I wish there was just one day where he had to do nothing on his day off. Being he has to go just about two weeks to get one it seems! Maybe I'll do the grocery shopping early in the morning with the girls while he's in bed or something. We'll see.

Jim our neighbor just came over and told me our other neighbors have a leak and all the water will be shut off for 24 hours starting in the morning. Peachy! Better catch up on all baths and wash tonight. Gah. I should be busting my butt on this house anyways, it's a total mess.

well it's a.....

Surprise! Still! phew.. we made it through the ultrasound without finding out. I can't even explain how tempting it was when the tech asked if we wanted to know because she had a good shot. But I did it.. I said no we want to keep this one a surprise! Jesse did ask if she could take a pic so he could "guess" but when she went to get the gender shot.. guess what... baby closed the legs tightly together so daddy couldn't even try to find out! I thought that was great!

Everything looks wonderful. Sooo cute. I'll have to see if I can scan the pics I got and post them up here. The doctor changed my due date from Feb. 22nd to Feb. 18th but I'll keep the 22nd in my head since that's what I've thought all along. We'll see who's right. lol.

My appointment went well. I saw a new doctor and I loved her. She didn't harp on me about my weight gain (or lack thereof). I have gained two pounds so far but I'm still under my prepregnancy weight. She said as long as I'm eating when I'm hungry and stopping when I'm full.. the baby is getting all it needs and it's growing perfectly. That was like a weight lifted off of me. With both of the girls I was starving all the time and gained weight weekly so just now starting to put on weight at 20 weeks was kind of scaring me!

Ariel now knows for sure there is a baby. She says she wants another sister.. lol. Clarity just loves babies period. Thank goodness. I was afraid she'd feel out of place but I think she'll be just fine. She'll be just like Ariel... a mini mommy. I'll ask Clarity "who wants a baby?" and her reply is, "me me me me!"

Jesse's been busy working, working, working. As usual. I guess better too much than not enough so I should just count my blessings! But he really could use a day off. He hasn't had a real day off in over two weeks. He was supposed to have the day of the ultrasound off, but they called him to work right after. We had to go with him. Thank goodness for the tv/dvd player in the truck!

We're in the process of looking for another house to live in. We have to move closer to his job. Right now we're paying around $300 a more a week in gas and that's killing us. So hopefully we'll find something closer soon!

Congrats to Misty on finding out she's having a lil boy!! You take care of yourself and that adorable guy you have in there!!

I hope everyone finds themselves happy and blessed.

eeeek!

Excitement, excitement, excitement! I'm soooo looking forward to so much this month it's crazy. I have my ultrasound next Wednesday. Then I went ahead and bought us some Six Flags tickets (yeah I know we just went, but I wanted to go back for Fright Fest so I purchased tickets without telling Jesse.. so he couldnt say no.. and when I did tell him, I said it was for his birthday which is Halloween). Thankfully he wasn't upset at all. Normally I dont sneak about things like that but this time I just couldn't help myself! We're all excited to go back. I'm guessing we'll go around the 20th. Then we have Halloween. I got the girls costumes in the mail... cute, cute, cute! Ariel was bound and determined to be a dinosaur and I found this really cool looking pterodactyl costume. She's thrilled with it and chases Miss Clarity everywhere. So it's going to be a year round play costume, I can tell. Good! It was more than I ever thought I'd pay for a costume. Clarity is going to be this adorable little pink poodle. I tried it on her and I melted, especially when she walked around doing her "woof woof!"

I love October! Happy Fall everybody!

Half Time

20 weeks today! I can't believe how fast things have started to go now that I've gotten past (for the most part) all the sick junk. It's halfway over.. and part of me is so sad. I don't know for sure if we're done. A part of me says we are, three is plenty and then there's that teeny bit of doubt that makes me want to avoid doing anything permanent (but it's a very teeny doubt..lol). It just makes every milestone more bittersweet that this more than likely, is the last time, I will ever experience it.

I have been thinking about names lately. Well only boy names really and I just can't get past wanting to name him (if it is a him) Ryan. I love, love, love that name. Jesse of course has his heels dug in that he's against it (because of my love for Ryan Reynolds). But honestly even if there weren't a Ryan Reynolds, it will still be my absolute favorite boy name. What's funny is if you ask Ariel if she ever has a baby brother what she would want his name to be... she always says Ryan (well her first choice is triceratops but that is a no go.. so she says Ryan next). And I PROMISE I didnt give her any ideas whatsoever. Maybe she is just meant to have a brother named Ryan! I have no feelings either way about what this baby is going to be. I've been wrong both other times. I just knew Clarity was a boy because deep down I really wanted another daughter. So I just chalked it up that I was dreaming and to get used to the idea that she was a boy. WRONG! I got my two little girls. So I don't have the gift of just knowing what the baby is inside of me. I don't care either way this time around which I guess is why I don't mind keeping it a surprise the whole time! I am so anxious for delivery day though... it will be like the biggest surprise ever!

A big Congrats to Sarah (the girl who is making my pregnancy announcements) as she gave birth to a healthy baby boy in the early AM. Welcome to the world Brennan!

Amazing!!

I know I've been through this whole pregnancy thing twice already but it still amazes me like the first time. I've really started feeling this little one move and sometimes it just takes my breath away what a miracle life is. Only 10 more days until my ultrasound and I spill the news to everyone! I'm so excited!

Things have been kind of difficult lately. I wont go into a bunch of detail just a few.
1. Patrick got hit by a motorcyle in mom's car. The guy was lifeflighted to the hospital. As far as we know he's going to live. If he doesn't Patrick gets charged with manslaughter by vehicle for failure to yield. Patrick swears he didn't see the guy coming. It's sad for everyone. Pray, pray, pray the guy makes it and they dont sue. This is so much stress on mom it's not funny because she could be sued as well because it was her car and Patrick was on her insurance.
2. Clarity fell yesterday and busted the back of her head on the pavement. She was on mom's car and before I could grab her big stuff climbed down on to the bumper, lost her balance and slipped. She's perfectly fine today but man we were worried yesterday! That kid is going to give me a heart attack!
3. Grandpa went to the doctor and there's been no change (so they say) according to the scan. However he's doing better by gaining weight, eating, and not coughing. They are going to do two rounds of all day chemo and then another scan.. so prayers that scan tells us differently and that things are working!

There's more that I wont really get into but we could all just use lots of prayer. I have faith God will take care of all this. I'm leaving it to him.

It's all part of being pregnant!

So help me if I read that one more time, I'm going to strangle somebody! Someone was complaining about morning sickness on a message board I go to and has gotten two replies already that's just like, "Well that's all a part of it". Uh yeah that may be true, but dang it show some sympathy. It's funny these girls didn't suffer it or much of it, you can tell, or they wouldn't offer that little tidbit of info. If you spend days, weeks, or months on end throwing up, feeling that horrible nausea feeling, losing weight... you are not going to lend your support to someone by saying that. It's called empathy.. learn it.. it's a good quality to have if you're a human being. Rant over! I had to unleash it here or I would have over there.. and that wouldn't turn out well!

I had a doctor's appointment on Clarity's second birthday (Happy Birthday Princess). It went okay. Baby's heartbeat was 150 (could it be it really is a boy? The girls' were always up there! hmmm..) I stepped on the scale and my heart sank as it read 110. Nearly 19 weeks and I'm still 6-7 lbs below my prepregnancy weight. But I guess that's all part of being pregnant too! I guess this is the reason I've been able to keep this little secret so long. lol. The doctor was a bit concerened and wrote me a prescription for zofran to help curb the nausea and throwing up. He said he'd like to see me gain weight and know I'm more comfortable. I haven't gotten the courage to fight the walmart crowd and get it filled, but I guess I will this afternoon. Other than that, all was good. He said I'm measuring right on schedule and I look good and we've scheduled my ultrasound for Oct. 10th. That's exciting. I can't wait to see my little baby!

We still haven't celebrated Clarity's birthday. I guess I'm going to have to get something going for that. We'll have to find out when Jesse's next day off is. They've been slammed, which is good! Can't complain about work being good! He's really enjoying the new place he's working for. Prayers that it continues to go well!

Well I'd better clean my house. It's been a couple of days and it's in need. So off to have a fun day.. cleaning! whoopie!

To Jesse, Ariel & Clarity

I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you

I could go on and on forever... I pray with every ounce of my being that you all know how much you mean to me. You are my universe and my reason for being here. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for making my heart and soul complete.

Six Flags Pics!

Some pictures!

Tomorrow!

Is my little princess Clarity's second birthday! Unbelievable! If I think about it too much, I'll cry. They just grow so fast. We're going out to Sylva tomorrow (doctor's appointment for me..yay) so we might go out to a great lunch or something. I bought a cake mix and I'm going to make and decorate her a little cake, but it will probably just be me, Ariel and her daddy celebrating with her. I'll have to set up a party for everyone next month sometime. Things are just so hectic around here lately!

We took the girls to Six Flags with my parents this past Saturday. That was awesome and I know the girls had a wonderful time, which really made me feel good. I want to fill their little childhoods with fun trips like that. Ariel was big enough this year to ride more than last year. She went on the minetrain roller coaster (I waited at the end and I was a nervous wreck because I kept seeing bigger kids getting off crying). So when I saw her and her daddy get on and she was just smiling and waving at me, my heart was racing and I was praying to God I'd see that same smile when she got back. I did! She was grinning from ear to ear. Then she surprised me again! There's a ride there called the Wheelie and it's like a big circle of little car type cages. It spins around quickly then lifts up and all the cars are going around in a circle upside down. She was big enough to ride that and did. I rode with her and her daddy (I know you're not supposed to ride anything when you're pregnant, but I did. I used my best judgement and if it didnt jostle you around and wasnt worse than riding in a car.. I rode it. Which was basically just the rides the kids rode. I figured if a two year old and four year old were okay to ride, it was probably a safe bet that me and the baby would be fine too). I'm holding on to Ariel for dear life.. she just seems so little to ride something that goes upside down! I'm talking to her the whole time and she is just giggling away. I dont even think she needed me on there with her! hehe. We got off and all she could do was talk about how much fun that was. Towards the end of the day I think I was getting heat exhaustion (it's easy to forget how hot Atlanta gets if you dont go there often). We were in line for a water ride and I was about to flip out. I got really dizzy and sick feeling. I kept picturing myself passing out. Being confined in a line surrounded by people wasn't helping either. I think that put me on the verge of a panic attack. But once we got on and I got a little wet and then went and drank a bunch of lemonade, I was fine. So it was definately the heat. Grandma and Abu surprised the girls with big lollipops when we got off the last ride of the day.. the log flumes. It wasnt long after we got in the truck that the girls were out. They were so cute falling asleep with these big lollipops in their hands (and in Clarity's case.. her hair).

Jesse started his new job on his own today. I know it's been forever it seems since I updated my blog so this entry is like a novel..so much to talk about! Jesse is now working for a company out of Asheville. They pay $25 more per one room install, $45 more for two rooms, $65 more for three rooms and $85 for more. It just keeps going up $20 more for every room. That's awesome. We're thrilled he can now go to work and know he can actually make some decent money. The job he was working for before doesn't give two bits about their employees. So glad Jesse's out of there. I'll continue to update how this new job is going..we're praying it's exactly what we needed!

Sorry I havent been on here the past week and a half or so. We've been dealing with stomach viruses and then a severe head cold (only Clarity and Jesse got the cold.. but it was bad.. especially for poor Jesse). Seems everyone is on the mend now and I hope it stays that way!

Still haven't told any of our families about the new baby yet but I did order some adorable pregnancy announcements from a girl named Sarah. They are perfect and I can't wait to get them. I'm praying I get an ultrasound tomorrow but I'm not sure. I know I'll be getting one soon since I'm already almost 18 1/2 weeks though! *gulp* I can't keep this a secret much longer! It's been so much fun not telling though. I never dreamed I'd do this, but it's just been nice for Jesse and I to share the crappy first weeks together and not have people hound me about what the doctor said, how I feel, or make negative remarks about how soon we're having another one. We've been able to share these weeks and just be happy and relaxed.

Exhausted!

I am so tired right now I can hardly see straight. Yesterday I woke up around 3 am and ended up driving Jesse to the warehouse in Cleveland (where Hurricane Humberto's remains decided to drop downpours on us the whole way there and back). I ended up not going back to sleep and cleaning the house up. I thought for sure I was going to sleep good last night. Wrong! Poor Ariel woke up around 1:30 am with a fever. I gave her some tylenol and took her temp (it was 101) and then had a hard time falling back to sleep because I was worried about her. I know fevers are good and fight infections but they still scare me to death whenever the kids get one. Something about feeling your kid's skin blazing hot... it just unsettles me.

She seems to be doing okay. I think her and Clarity are both getting another virus which is sad because we just went through them having a stomach bug for most of last week. I guess that's a sure sign that fall is right around the corner. All of these sick germs are coming out of nowhere!

Pray for Jesse. He's trying to get a job with a company a guy he used to work with went to. I really pray he gets it because this company pays well. It's what we need right now so crossing my fingers and praying hard!

Countdown: Only one week until Six Flags! Yea!

We'll just forget about Yesterday

It was horrible! Both of the girls have been battling diarrhea (Ariel longer than Clarity) but they aren't complaining. No change in appetite, no stomach aches, they just run about their lives and go potty when they have to without incident. I guess it's a tummy bug and we're just waiting it out. Ariel ended up taking a broom to her sister's head (have no idea why!) and Clarity got a huge bump and bruise. I lost it on poor Ariel. I yelled and screamed and scared myself how mad and out of control I felt. I wanted to call the cops to take me away. Thank God Ariel is forgiving. After I cooled off (I just had to leave the room), I apologized (and cried) for how I acted with her. I was feeling so blessed guilty about it the rest of the day and night that I prayed to God if I ever felt that again, that he would just let me die of a heart attack or something because she didn't deserve to see me psychotic. All is good in Ariel and Mommy world now though. We've been sharing lots of hugs, kisses and love. I explained to her that mommy's make mistakes too and just like she shouldn't go being mean to her sister, it was wrong of me to go and be mean to her. She understood, apolgized and kissed Clarity and then gave me kisses and said she was always going to love me *sniff*. I told her she will never have any idea how much I love her and her sister. So that's the main reason for my title "We'll just forget about yesterday".

I *think* I have it too but I'm just riding the nausea roller coaster with it. Constantly feeling the need to be sick. I actually PRAY it's a virus because the virus will go away. I was doing fine with the whole morning sickness thing for a while and I had just bragged to Jesse about how good it felt to just wake up and feel like a normal person. Hopefully I didn't jinx myself. The past few days my stomach has felt horrid.

On a bright note... we got approved for financing for our furniture!! So by the end of the month we will have a new couch, recliner, loveseat, and dining room table. I'm sooo happy. Right now our furniture situation is sad and pathetic. lol. I do, however, need to find a way to help Jesse bring in income. I'm so tired of constantly struggling and having to use credit cards. So I'm going to try to make up some flyers or something and babysit from home that way I can still homeschool Ariel (which we have started a bit and she's doing beautifully by the way) and be home with the girls. Hopefully I can find a way to at least bring in $300 a week. If anyone has any ideas.. let me know! Any prayers you care to send up for us would be great and appreciated too!

Our Anniversary!

Today Jesse and I have been married for four years! It's hard to believe we've already been back together for six and if you count the time we were together before our break up.. we've been together for nine and friends for almost 11. It's neat to reflect back and realize I ended up marrying a guy I've known since I was 14. When we broke up I had full intentions of never speaking to him again but funny how God has a very different plan for you life than you do for yourself. Instead of not talking to him again, I drove up to Virginia and moved in with him, we had a daughter, got married, had another daughter and are now expecting our third baby. Life is just full of surprises!

He has to work today and he'll probably end up home late since he's working out of town, so nothing special planned here. I'll have him dinner ready when he gets home and we'll probably get everyone in bed and watch a movie together. As long as I get to spend time with him, I'll be happy.

Yesterday we spent most of the day at home. Jesse washed the truck and we let the girls play outside. Then we went out and looked at new furniture for hours. We found the couch, loveseat and recliner we want and we also found the dining table we want. Not sure when we'll get them but at least we know what we want and when we're ready we can go for it. I really hope it's soon because we desperately need new furniture! Then we went and Ariel and I got our hair cut. We both cut A LOT off. lol. I'll have to get pics. After that we did some grocery shopping and came home. Again a busy "day off" for Jesse! lol.

I do want to mention that yesterday was a sad anniversary. One of my best friends from high school lost her sixteen month old daughter, Jenna, three years ago yesterday. I think of Jenna often and I think of her parents and brothers and just pray for peace for them. I know it's been three years, but it still has to be so hard. I can't even imagine. So Jenna... I love you baby!

A day with Grandma and Paw Paw

So yesterday my parents came and picked myself and the girls up and took us over to spend the day with my grandparents. We stopped at KFC and picked up some lunch to take over.

The girls had a blast. Grandma and Paw Paw have a mini farm. Basically it's a bunch of dogs and some horses. lol. Ariel loved feeding the horses... it made me kind of nervous but she wasn't scared a bit and I'm sure the horses loved getting some carrots and hay from her. Clarity liked to look, but she was on the cautious side. For once! hehe.

Grandpa (paw paw) looked good. His weight is good and he had his wonderful sense of humor going so he must've felt pretty good too. He kept chasing Clarity around with the "little man" (his two fingers he made walk at her). She would run and kind of smile.. she wasn't sure about it at first but then she thought it was funny. Clarity also had fun teasing paw paw with cake. He would ask her if he could have a piece of hers and she would grab a bite (I seriously thought she was going to give it to him) and instead shove it in her mouth and just look at him like "ha! no way!". He would just crack up over that. I think Grandma and Paw Paw (as well as Grandma and Abu.. my parents) loved spending the day with the kids. We all had fun.

Feeding the horses!

Happy Labor Day!

Most of you probably have the day off and are enjoying a nice, long weekend. Wish it were the same for Jesse! The poor guy works 6 days a week, over 10-12 hours a day, and they can't let him have a holiday off?! He just left for work (it's 5:45 am) and he's absolutely exhausted. He's so ready for his day off which is tomorrow and his manager sent him an email asking if he wanted to work it. Is she crazy? I mean seriously. lol. Tomorrow I'm going to cater to his every whim. I'm going to let him sleep in as late as he wants, give him breakfast in bed, and be as nice as possible. He works so blessed hard so I can be a stay at home mom and I'm so thankful for him. I truly love him with every fiber of my being. Now more than ever.

Those were some pretty cute pics I posted, huh? I FINALLY got to see my cousin's baby boy on Friday. He's six weeks old and such a tiny little thing.. only 7 lbs! Clarity weighed that much at birth so I was shocked to see a bitty baby. I guess my girls were brutes! lol. He's absolutely precious. Ariel was a bit bent out of shape by him, I think. I think between him and Clarity she's worried we don't love her as much as we used to, which couldn't be farther from the truth but hard to explain that to a four year old! As I was holding Brandon and talking to him, Ariel crossed her arms and said, "I'm not talking to you anymore mama!" and walked off. Little drama queen! Thank God for my aunt Linda taking her and talking to her. I think that made Ariel feel tons better. I have to admit holding Brandon, I got sooo excited about our baby and it made the "I want a boy" feeling even stronger.

After visiting with my grandparents, seeing Aunt Linda, Heather and Brandon.. mom, dad, the girls, and I went to Fire's Creek. That's where the pictures of Ariel and her "water slide" were from. She loves going there! The girls had a blast. We weren't there very long because it got really cloudy and started thundering and raining, but they had fun while it lasted!

Sorry I haven't been doing much on here for the past few days. I had a couple of days there where I was suffering from nausea 24/7. A constant seasick feeling. It was horrible! I didn't get sick but always felt like I could at any given moment. Yesterday was a great day and today has been good so far (6 am here, I've been up since like 3 am so I guess I'd better go catch up on some sleep before the girls wake up!). Hopefully when I get up for the day, I'll feel great still. Pray so! Today mom is coming to pick me and the girls up and taking us to see my grandparents. Ariel loves to see her grandma and paw paw!

Hopefully I'll have some more pics to share!

Goodnight everyone.. or should I say.. good morning. Hope you all have a blessed day!

First some pics! Then some blogging...