My Precious Girls

Three weeks old... already!

God who gave time permission to fly by so fast? Emmalyn is three weeks old today.. in one more week.. she'll be a month old! Crazy! Poor little thing has broken out in bad baby acne :o( She's still a pretty little princess even though her face is all red and it looks like it hurts! There's nothing you can do for it.. it just has to go away on its own, which sucks. I have to take the blame though since they say its horomones the baby gets from the mom during pregnancy that causes it.

Little Clarity is down for a nap. We didnt even wake up THAT early this morning. Lisa didn't have to be at work until 9 so I didnt get up until like 8:20 or so. Of course the girls got up with me. I'm so glad I started this babysitting stuff. Even though sometimes it's a huge headache.. in the long run it's a huge help. Ariel is FINALLY getting along with both Alley & Emiley. In fact her and Emiley are good friends now and Ariel always looks forward to seeing her. Ariel has learned to share & that the universe doesn't revolve around her. It's a relief seeing how she is now versus how she was when I first started watching the girls. And another thing that's different: Ariel is looking forward to going to school!! That is a giant weight taken off of my shoulders. She's gaining independance slowly but surely...and she's seeing she doesn't need me as much as she thought she did. Which is a huge milestone & yet it makes me kind of sad! She's growing up and becoming her own little person. I just pray Jesse & I do well in raising her.. teaching her right from wrong..teaching her to be a good, compassionate person.. all that stuff we want her to be. All we can do is do our best and pray for God's help with that.

I went to the Ghost Hunters website today and saw that they are doing a convention in Clearwater, FL in July. Oh how I wish I could go! lol. Unfortunately I can't even get Jesse to sit down & watch the show with me, let alone take me to Florida to meet them! Even if he did agree.. I dont think I could go just for the fact I'd have to leave my little ones behind. I just dont think I could do that! Guess I'll just have to settle for enjoying the show. Not that I ever want to see something for myself.. like a ghost or whatever.. I'll stick to them showing me on tv. I think I would mess myself & run screaming like a banshee if I caught something firsthand.

Well only one more day of watching the girls! I have to get up super early tomorrow and keep Alley until 2:30. Just one more day! I think the dad is taking the girls for the weekend and Lisa made other arrangements for Monday since Mom & Dad are coming up Sunday and staying the night. Ariel's looking forward to that! I've got to get my house in order. Maybe I can get the spare bedroom done Saturday and they can actually have a room to sleep in. lol. We'll see. Lately I'm lucky to get a shower in and brush my teeth everyday!

Hallelujah! Holy sh**! Where's the Tylenol?

That quote from National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation fits exactly how I'm feeling right now. Today didn't start off too bad... Alley & Emiley came in and went to sleep *gasp* and I managed to get all three of mine that way too. So I was able to sleep until quarter till 8... get Emiley on the bus.. then go back to sleep and sleep again until 9! Amazing! God must've known I was going to need it.

Actually it wasn't even that bad until around 1:30 or so.. about an hour before Lisa was coming to get Alley. I hear Alley in the bathroom just cracking up and talking to somebody. I noticed Clarity wasn't around.. so I go in... and there's Alley sitting on the toilet and Clarity with poop smeared on her chest! OMG! I asked Alley what in the heck she was doing and told her I was going to text her mom about what happened. I sent Lisa a text saying that I was leaving the door unlocked and to come on in because I was having to get the girls in the bath since Alley smeared poop all over Clarity. I did that to give Lisa heads up and let her deal with punishment. Well Alley stands up and there is poop all over my toilet, all in her pants, on my floor... GAH! So I had her take off her pants and stand in the tub while I sanitized the toilet and floor. Then I had her run the water and clean herself... then she had to get out and I had to sanitize & clean the bath then get both of the girls in there and wash them. Ariel was fantastic with keeping an eye on Emmalyn while I was dealing with that mess. Would you believe Lisa came in and didnt say one word to Alley about it? No punishment, no getting on to her, nada. If my kid did that at a babysitter's house.. I'd be beyond mortified. I couldnt be mad at the kid if they messed themselves by accident... but to smear it on another person's kid? Um yeah they'd be in some hot water with me. I should sneak an extra charge in there for having to deal with that and clean that up & I seriously might.

Other than that & my house being an absolute disaster because I just can't keep up with everything between my kids, babysitting, and not getting near enough sleep having to wake up at 4 something every morning (oh Lisa gets no days off until Sunday and Alley's lovely dad isn't taking her this week so I get to do this ALLL week. sarcastic YAY). I'm spread so thin lately. Maybe Lisa will call in one day this week. I doubt it but I can hope! But then we need every extra bit of money we can get... so I'm just going to have to suck it up.

Clarity got stung by a yellow jacket yesterday. Not once but twice. She ran out into the fenced area of our yard yesterday because the older girls did, and she had no shoes on. She comes flying back inside screaming. I thought she had stepped on something. She points to her pant leg & I lift it up and a yellow jacket is crawling around. I knock him out and squish him. Then I looked at her foot & saw where he got her. Then she holds her other foot... sting welt there too. Little bastard! One good thing to come out of it... she's not allergic.

Well Jess is about to be home from work so I'm going to have a chance to straighten up a bit and try to get things done. Let's hope lil Emmy stays asleep! You know once I go to start something.. she's going to pop those eyes open & need something. That's how it always works with a newborn! lol.

Attention all idiots!

If you are a complete moron it should be a law that when you are driving.. you have to have a bumper sticker that states that! Let me explain. Today Jesse, the girls, & I went to Asheville. On our way home were cruising along down the interstate. I was eating a gordita from Taco Bell so I wasn't looking up. All of a sudden I felt the truck skidding, heard the tires, and felt our bed fishtail a bit. It all happened so fast but when I looked up we were about to hit the car in front of us. We didn't... THANK GOD... but we did have to come to a dead stop.. on the freaking interstate! I was so afraid we were about to be slammed from behind. All I could do was think of the girls back there. Thank God again.. the people behind us had plenty of time to slow down. So why did this happen you may ask.. because some stupid, stupid person decided to "be nice" I guess and stop in the middle of the interstate to let someone coming off of an exit on. Hello! You don't do that! I don't know what they were thinking. They are sooo lucky they didn't cause a pile up on I-40. I was shaking so hard and the names I was calling that person.. gracious. lol. I told Jesse they are so lucky we didn't hit someone or get hit because I would have jumped out, grabbed something heavy out of the truck, and beat the crap out of them. No lie. You harm my kids because you have no brains.. you're going to get it.

The reason we went to Asheville was to try to return the playpen (the rainforest one) to Target. The girls (I'm sure it was mainly Ariel and Emiley) kept getting in it and it tore. This was a week ago or so. I was so mad. Luckily Jesse found the receipt in his wallet so we took it back and acted like it was like that when we got it. They gave us no problems returning it so we have a new one. So help me if I ever catch one of the bigger girls in it again. I dont think I will. After we told them they tore it up, we havent even had any attempts from them trying to climb in.

We also ran to walmart for grocery shopping. Both the Target & Walmart trips I sat in the car with the girls and let Jesse do the running around. He took Ariel with him into walmart.. I made her keep germ x on her and told her to use it often. Daddy bought Ariel a nice new pair of earrings and she's in love. They are a pair of blue opal studs. Other than that, not much else went on today. Emmy's had two more of those screaming episodes.. so not fun! I dont remember Ariel or Clarity doing this but they probably did.

Well I should get going. I have to clean up before bed because I have to be up at the butt crack of dawn for Lisa's girls. I so dont feel rested enough! lol.

Slept in!

Who ever would have thought I'd consider 7:30 sleeping in?! lol. It felt good not to have to wake up at 4:30! But today isn't a family day like I had been hoping for. At 9 last night Jesse's cell rings. It's Ray from work asking him to come in and work in the office since he couldnt do it. Jesse & I discussed it and decided he should do it. It would be crazy to turn down money at this point. We got his check last week and we barely have enough to cover rent since he took off for Emmalyn's arrival and then ended up getting a flu bug. Part of me wanted to tell him forget it.. stay home.. but I knew I had to be realistic. He's only working 11-5 so that's not too bad. Right now him and the girls ran to McDonalds for some breakfast burritos.

So I guess today will be spent catching up on laundry & other housework. I REALLY need to start on the taxes.. time is slipping away and it has to be done. So maybe I should put that on the top of the priority list. Just the thought of doing those gives me a headache. Too many numbers, papers, and record keeping! Ick!

Emmalyn had some colic or something last night. The poor baby screamed for over an hour.. that cry that no matter what you do.. it doesnt comfort them. I hate that! I gave her some gas drops and just walked around rocking her. Finally at 11:30 she stopped and fell asleep. I hope we dont have to go through that again anytime soon (or at all for that matter). It makes you feel so helpless!

What I've been waiting for!

Lisa just came and got Alley! Hallelujah! I know that sounds horrible mean... but Lord have mercy... it couldn't come soon enough for me today!

Let me count the ways that child rode my nerves today.
1. She came in and woke everyone in the house up
2. She ate my fudge rounds! I dont mind her getting snacks but holy cow she eats everything! She will tear into my little debbies, yogurts, puddings, whatever. I honestly need to raise my price just to feed the kid. lol.
3. She got our change bowl down (it's filled with change.. I mean lots) and she threw it all over the playroom. I had her clean it up and not two mins. later she did it again. *allow me to rip my hair out*
4. She goes to the "bathroom". A few minutes later she comes out with my brand new lipstick in hand.. it's demolished. I had it up in the cabinet.. snooper!
5. She slapped Ariel in the face twice because Ariel wouldnt play with her. Ariel was good.. just quietly came and told me. Because I didnt see it, I didn't yell at her but I did tell her to be nice and if someone isn't in the mood to play, just give them time.

So you can see why I'm sooooo glad my weekend has begun. Now if I can just get my two "angels" (trust me they havent been the best today either) to lay down and take a nap... I'll be in Heaven! Update: As I was typing this I noticed Clarity was wayyy too quiet..so I jumped up to check on her and she is sound asleep on the couch holding her little bowl of cereal (no milk). Ugh why is my digital in the truck?! Anyways.. one down.. one to go!

I'm so tired!

Forgot!!

I completely forgot to mention the temper tantrum of the century we had go on in this house yesterday! I must make note of it in my blog because it was a first. Who did this? Could it have been my fiery Ariel? Actually.. nah! Even she never threw one this bad. It was my precious, innocent Clarity! Yes, Claire Bear! It all started right after her bath. I ran out to check the mail real quick (Jesse's expecting some things for his project) and she follows me outside butt naked. So I ask her to come back inside with me and hurry up and she starts having this mini meltdown. She throws herself on the sidewalk in front of the front door. So I'm having to drag her up by her arm and kind of fling her inside.. lol.. what a sight..me with this naked kid flailing and screaming in one hand and mail in the other. Once inside all heck broke loose. She was throwing herself all over the floor.. fists banging.. feet kicking. I was in hysterics and wished I had the camera batteries charged up! I had never seen such a fit in my life. I would walk out of the room and she would stand up, follow me and then throw herself down in the room I was in and start up again. It was funny for five mins. after 10-15 I was getting annoyed. Ariel couldnt stop laughing... so Ariel & I were kind of mean and decided to mock her. We were both throwing ourselves down and doing the same thing and then laughing about it. Clarity even joined in on the giggles until we stopped.. then the wailing started again. Jesse soon came home from work and couldnt believe it when I told him about the episode. His little angel.. it couldnt be. *giggle* All we could say was "Just think.. the three's are worse!" oy!

One of those days!

Hmm can we say unhappy?! Gah.. Alley & Emiley arrived here at 5:15 this morning. Of course Alley just had to be completely obnoxious and Emiley wasn't tired either. So before long I had all five kids awake... four running around & screaming. I'm sure Jesse loved having the last hour of sleep he could get totally shot. I went to wake him up at 6 and he was just laying there with his eyes wide open. He didn't really complain though since I had been the one up since 4:30 and I barely get any sleep tending to Emmalyn as it is. Not that she's not a great baby or great sleeper.. she really is.. but it's a mama thing I guess. Even when she's soundly sleeping, I automatically wake up just to check on her. Clarity and Emmy went back to sleep this morning but no one else did. My house = ABSOLUTE CHAOS! It was so clean this morning and now.. I had to escape to my computer to avoid laying into some kids. lol. The put water in the baby bath in the living room which is all over the floor, my kitchen table is covered in markers, play dough, papers, food, etc. Everything is just everywhere! I told them before I came in here that they needed to clean up and Alley says "I wont. I'm going to be leaving soon". I told her please.. she was leaving at 2:30 this afternoon and she had plenty of time to clean. I asked her if she made messes like this at her house and she goes, "no". So I told her to not to do it in mine... I mean the messes I dont mind as long as they help clean it up. But I am not getting paid enough to babysit AND be her maid. I just have to keep reminding myself just a few more hours and then the rest of today and the weekend is MINE! woohoo! I probably should get back out there.. I hear my vaccum cleaner going. Knowing alley she has the hose up to her head and is sucking up her hair. She does that everyday for some reason. lmao.

One More Day

Well technically 1 1/2 or something like that. Point is.. weekend is almost here! YES! I'm sooo looking forward to having Jesse home. I miss him during the week. Lisa and the girls are heading off for the weekend to visit some of her family so it will be a family weekend for us. Woot! I dont mind watching her girls but I'm glad I'll be getting a break and I know the girls are dying to have Jesse all to themselves.


Jesse has a project he'll start working on in a couple of days. He's had the idea in his head for months now and he finally was able to order the stuff he needs to do it. So that stuff should be coming soon and he'll be able to work on it on his off time. I've decided to be completely supportive... I've been known to not be & I'm ashamed of that. He has so many ideas and he's so artistic & creative... that's just him and I decided I should let him tap into that and go with it. Who knows.. it could mean something awesome for us in the future! I'm excited for him & I can't wait until he's finished to see what these talks we've had over the past few months materialize into.


The girls are doing great. Emmalyn is turning into such a chunky monkey! She's two weeks old today and seems she has grown so much already! She's got the chubbiest cheeks, an adorable double chin, and sumo body. lol. It's too cute! Clarity is cracking me up with her vocabulary (as small as it is). Right now she's slapping my leg asking for "jew" aka juice in her whiney voice going "maaaa jew! jew! maaaaa". It's hilarious. If I dont hurry up.. I'll hear her trademark "butt" remark. Silly girl! Ariel's actually looking forward to school. Her & Emiley have put aside all of their differences and are now good friends. How this came about.. I have no idea but I'm so glad it happened. They play together so well now. Ariel has really needed this outside interaction with other kids to learn how to deal when things dont go her way. I think it will help her come time for kindergarten. I can't believe that day is sneaking up on me. In five months or so my baby will be going to school. wow.

My New Love!

Okay this is really rediculous but I have a tv show I just can't miss. I've always liked it but just recently I've really, really gotten into it. It's my favorite! Of course Jesse's not a fan *boo on him* so I have to record it & watch it when he's not around.

I dont know what it is about it but I'm very intrigued. I get so excited everytime they capture something that can't be explained. It used to scare me but now... it's like even though it makes the hair stand up on the back of my neck at times... I find it very fascinating. They had a marathon of it yesterday and I recorded every episode. So yay!

I'll have to get the pics up

On the spur of the moment, Jesse & I decided to drive the girls out to Murphy yesterday so Grandma & PawPaw (my grandparents) as well as Nanny (Jesse's mom) could see the girls and meet Emmalyn. I wished we had gotten an earlier start so we could have spent more time out there.. but hopefully everyone is happy we came even if it couldnt be for very long. We plan on going back I think Easter so that will be good.

We drove around a lot of yesterday stopping at hair places to see if someone could fix miss Ariel's hair (she decided to give herself a haircut on one side... Gah!) Finally someone could squeeze her in at around 3:30. So now she has a short little hairdo but it's totally cute and really suits her personality. She's such a rough & tumble little girl. lol. To think I had her pegged as a prissy princess when she was born. Ha! She showed me. Jesse always jokes that he doesnt need his boy after all since he's got someone to rough up and do all that fun stuff like camping and fishing with. She's even told me she wants to go hunting.. now where she got that I have no idea. Jesse doesnt even hunt! Now miss Clarity is my prissy princess...she will change her clothes a million times a day (if I forget to lock her bedroom with her clothes in it). She loves make up and babies and all that girlie stuff. It will be interesting to see how Emmalyn turns out!

**I started this on Sunday but I'm finishing it today which is Monday**
Well I've had the girls the past two days... today they were here by 5:15 this morning. yikes. Thank God they both laid down on the couch and went to sleep. Hallelujah! I had to wake Emiley a couple of times to get her going to get on the bus. I was so worried she was going to poo around and miss it (seems she was trying her hardest). lol. Alley's been Alley today. Not too bad. I was in the laundry room getting Ariel & Clarity some clothes (I had them take a bath) and came out to find Alley carrying Emmy from her swing to the couch. Eek! I was like "oh my God no! You dont ever, ever pick her up by yourself and without me around". She was like "but the baby was crying and red as a fire". I told her crying wont kill the baby but dropping her will. I think she got the point. I felt like a mama bird ready to kick her butt. lol.

Other than that, all has been okay. It was warm yesterday so the girls spent the latter part of the afternoon outside until Lisa came home. I think I may go see how it is right now....

Oh the heating oil got delivered this morning. $356 on a credit card. wonderful. What really sucks is I asked the guy to measure it before he pumped it. When we moved in we had 115 gallons. Well when he comes back to give me back the credit card and receipt he tells me we should be good for quite a while. We still had 90 gallons left! I swore we were probably almost out! He said 20 gallons or so doesnt count because it wont use that far down to avoid sludge getting in the lines or something but still thats 70 gallons! Lesson learned... we dont use a lot of heating oil. We better be here next year to use every bit of that up. lol. Oh well. At least we know we can stay warm :o)

Here she is (proud big sisters too) !!

Flippin Cold!!

Winter can officially end anytime now. I'm so tired of this freezing then warming up then freezing again stuff! I have a hundred gallons of heating oil being delivered monday. We've managed fine without using it but now that Emmy is here, I'm wanting to make sure this place stays toasty. I have no idea how much we have left in our tank right now and I'm leary of running it since if you run it without much oil...it can cause it to break. So we're hanging in there until Monday. Jesse fixed the fireplace and we've been burning it at night but the wood they have here is so dry it burns up in no time. Oh well. We're still using our electric heaters too. Hopefully we wont have to burn much of the oil and we'll have it for next winter. You would think all of this cold mess would end soon.. it is nearly March after all! Dang I just realized March is tomorrow... closer than I thought!

They cancelled school here Wednesday and Thursday (nothing was even on the ground.. it had all melted but I guess some part of the county got walloped so they closed all the schools). So I had Emiley two full days in a row. It wasn't too bad... we managed to get through it. lol. But today I didnt have either of them since alley was at her dad's... and it's been nice & quiet. The girls and I have lounged on the couch and taken naps (ariel & Clarity are still sleeping and I think Emmalyn is going back to sleep since she's been changed and eaten). I really should be doing our taxes or getting this place organized but when it's this cold & cloudy outside.. it's hard to get motivated to do anything!

I guess I should get some pics of little miss emmalyn (little blondie as Jesse calls her since what little hair she has, her eyebrows and eyelashes are all this white blonde color) up on this blog. I tried to the other day but it wasn't cooperating. She's such a cute little thing! I'm not bias or anything like that ;o)

How is it possible

That when you are waiting for your little one to get here... the days drag on and time stands still...then when they do arrive... the days just seem to fly by?! Emmalyn is almost five days old already. It doesnt seem possible. Wasn't I just getting ready to have her yesterday?!

She's doing wonderful.. she never cries unless she's hungry or needs a diaper change. She's so laid back and will lay in her swing contently & sleep in her bed. Amazing! I'm finding myself doing exactly what I said I wouldn't... holding her while she's sleeping or letting her lay with me. I can't help it! lol. She's just so tiny (yet growing so fast) and with her being my last.. I just want to cherish every second of her being this tiny little angel. She's starting to stay awake for much longer periods of time and just gaze around at everyone. It cracks Ariel & Clarity up when she's looking at them and sticks out her tongue or makes a face. They love it. I have two amazing helpers... that are always jumping at the chance to get me diapers or wipes or to let me know if she starts to fuss a bit if I'm in another room.

Things have been hectic in this house with all these bugs going around. Jesse's so sick he had to call in to work this morning. I know he was really debating it but he was just so run down and running a fever.. I told him to just do it. That if he didnt rest he'd probably end up missing more than a day and going to the hospital. He hasn't gotten off the couch except to eat a bit of breakfast and other than that he's been asleep. I know it drives him crazy.. he's such a busy person.. so you know when he's like this, he's REALLY sick. I felt horrible last night with a cough & tickle in my throat that kept choking me. On the good side: Ariel & Clarity are doing MUCH better now so it must be a come and go virus. I sure hope so. I get to fight walmart today to do some grocery shopping. It really needs to be done. Jesse & I have put it off as long as we could. I'll leave him & the girls in the truck (I would leave them home but Jesse said he'd rather go that way if Emma starts fussing he can call me and I can go sit in the truck and he'll finish the shopping). So eventually today we'll get around to doing that escapade. Not looking forward to it! We're under a winter storm warning right now.. I guess sometime tonight it's supposed to start snowing and we're going to get between 2-4 inches (supposedly). All winter I've looked foward to snow... now I'm so over it and I actually wouldnt mind not getting anything. I'm ready for warm weather and for everyone to feel better!

Surprise all right.... It's a GIRL!!!!

Emmalyn Reese Moore was born February 21, 2008 at 2:30 p.m. She weighed 6 lbs 11 oz and was 19 inches. We are thrilled with her and love having her here! It's like she's always been a part of the family and we're all totally in love with her! Ariel & Clarity are all the time wanting to help or love up on her. It's so cute!!

We've been going to the doctor or hospital ever since we brought her home. The first time it was for a weight check (she was 6 lbs 5 oz on Saturday) and we were sent to the lab for a bilirubin test since the pediatrician thought she might have jaundice. Her levels were high... 18% so we had to go back Sunday for another test. These were much better.. they were down to 11% so she's good there! We had another weight check this morning and she is 6 lbs 9 oz (they were really impressed she's gained 4 oz back in two days). She's eating well, sleeping well, pooping well, peeing well... all is great... so we dont have to go back until her 1 month check up! yay!

I've been a nervous wreck for the past two days though. It started out with Clarity running a low grade fever. She just had some sort of short lived virus. But the thing that scares me is it only takes a temp of 100.4 for it to be considered a medical emergency in a newborn. Then last night Ariel gets really sick... just laying around, complaining of a headache, then spiking a fever over 102. So between worrying about the older girls and keeping them away Emmalyn as much as possible... and then checking Emma's temp with every diaper change.. just to be sure.. I'm sooo tired! Flu and strep is running wild in this area so Jesse and I dont take the girls out (with the exception of Emmalyn's appointments) and even then, they wait in the truck with Jesse. I'll be so glad when this cold & flu season is over and I can relax about it a bit!

Last post as a mama of two!

Tomorrow is it! Jesse and I go to the hospital at 6:30 am to get this baby out of there. Of course I'm jittery and nervous.. I've never had to be induced before so I'm honestly in the dark about what to expect. I do know it's not going to be pleasant. I guess that's the trade off you have to make to know exactly when you're baby is coming.

I probably won't get an ounce of sleep tonight. Jesse & I are hoping to be leaving the house by like 5:30 or so that way he can get him some breakfast and we can go fill out all the paperwork that's needed at the hospital since I never got around to pre-registering. I'm so worried about the girls... I guess what I'm really worried about is something going wrong and the girls not having a mom. I know.. I shouldnt even let those thoughts enter my mind, but of course they do. I'm sure all will be fine. I've always been a worrier and I find I worry over nothing a lot of the time! Jesse's all the time telling me to relax that stress kills.. lol...he's right and I really should listen!

Well other than that, not much else is going through my mind! I babysat for Alley today & she was good most of the day but towards the end, her & Ariel started fussing at eachother. They were both tired. Emiley had an unusual morning. She came in and laid on the recliner and *gasp* went to sleep! I never get that lucky! lol. I guess it was because I told her as soon as she came in to please try to be quiet and be good because I really didnt feel very good. She listened! I woke her up about ten minutes before the bus came and brushed her hair... and she was in a good mood when she left. Nice!

Alley is going to stay with her dad tomorrow through Sunday and Emiley I guess is staying with him Friday. I forgot exactly what Lisa said was going on... but she made sure she doesnt need me until next Monday which is when I told Gregg I would probably be good to take the girls again.

soooo the next time I post.. I will have 3 little ones and I'll be able to post pics of the newest addition to our family and finally be able to say if it's a boy or girl and what we named them! How exciting! It's been fun... but I'm so done :o) lol

Appointment Today

Well after getting Emiley to school, Jesse and I took off for my appointment which I swore was going to be a decently long one. Nope not really! I was pretty much in & out. Jesse and the girls weren't even done eating breakfast (he took Alley, Ariel & Clarity for some Mcdonalds while they were waiting for me).

The doctor checked me and I'm 3 cm but not much else to say about it. I haven't been having contractions regularly and pretty much this baby is being lazy. lol. So Dr. Potter scheduled an induction for this Thursday at 6:30 am (well 7:00 am but she said I could get there at 6:30 and God knows we will if this baby isn't here by then). I'm actually kind of hoping I make it to the induction just because Jesse would have a four day weekend to be home and spend time with the baby and plus I babysit tomorrow.. lol.

Alley was soooo good today. I was actually surprised at what an easy day I had. Her and Ariel dont bicker constantly like Emiley & Ariel do. That in itself just makes the day go more smoothly. I dont know what I'm going to have to do to get Ariel & Emiley to chill out and just be nice. I dont know why it's so hard for them not to compete and fight! I told Jesse I can't believe how catty they can be towards eachother. Emiley is the same way with Alley. This morning she took her foot and just kicked Alley in the mouth. I told Jesse I felt like I am watching wrestling or something when I have to seperate those two girls. Thank goodness Ariel & Emiley only have verbal wars and not the physical stuff. I'd go insane!

We have names!

Jesse and I have one boy name and one girl name picked... YAY!! The girl name just popped into my head at like 4 am about a week ago. Dont know what made me wake up and think of it.. but once I did.. I just KNEW that was the name I wanted to use if it was a girl. Jesse's being go with the flow this time around. He said I pretty much came up with the girls' names and he loved those so I'm good at it and he let me go with it.

Of course we're being turds and not spilling the names until baby is here! The girls I talk to online are going nuts... I didn't find out the sex.. I wont tell them the names... I'm being bad, bad, bad! hehe.

We'll find out soon enough!

When I made my appointment for tomorrow, I completely forgotten I had told Lisa I'd take them in the morning! So.. after talking to her I told her I'd get Emiley to school and just take Alley with us to the appointment. Jesse & the girls always just wait in the truck anyways. Maybe with any luck the drive will put her to sleep. lol. I better get some sleep myself.. It's 10:40 pm and I have to be up by 4:30 am... I always like to get up and have my shower and straighten up the house before they get here.

I'll update about my doctor appointment as soon as I get home :o) Fingers crossed for good news!!

Anytime now would be great!

Today is officially my due date and that baby is just as happy as can be staying where it is, I guess! I was supposed to have an appointment today, but I rescheduled since Jesse would miss a ton of work being it was at 11:15 am. So I go in tomorrow at 8 am. Jesse's a nervous wreck.. lol. He called me this morning to see how I was and to see if I called the doctor and when I told him my appointment was in the morning, he was like "to induce you?". lmao. I think not. We'll see what they say. Maybe something will happen tonight and we wont even make it to the appointment.. but I'm sure not holding my breath!

My internet has been out for several days which is why I haven't posted to update my blog. But it's back again. Yay. I have never in my life had to wait on hold before actually speaking to a person for 40 minutes until today. Wildblue... gotta love their customer service! But at least it's back.. I have to check the bank account and pay some bills and when you do everything by internet and then you dont have it for a while... kind of throws things off! Guess that's what I get for depending on technology.

I watched Emiley Saturday & Sunday. Alley was at her dad's. Things are going well... Emiley is doing better with listening to me. I think the first few times she tested me to see what it was I was going to let her get away with. Which I dont think there's a kid that won't do that. lol. Her & Ariel sure have their moments. One minute they are friends and playing fine and the next they are doing the whole " I'm older than you" "well I'm smarter than you" "well I have more toys than you" "Clarity likes me better" fights! *pulls hair out* The other day I had enough. I raised my voice and told both of them that I was older and smarter and sick of hearing the constant bickering. I told them if they wanted to keep it up, I'd put them both outside and they could argue until the cows came home but it wasn't happening in my house. Emiley pipes up with "But cows dont come home" OMG. lol. I told her the cows would do whatever I wanted. Then I told them that Clarity was younger than both of them and had a better attitude and was acting more mature than them. Then Emiley tells me it's because Clarity can't talk. I told her no it was because Clarity had sense enough to know if she acted up it would make me mad. Finally it sunk in and they both straightened up and were fine the rest of the day. I think Emiley was shocked. Jesse just kind of sat there with a smirk on his face while I had my tirade. lol. He goes, "I love when you do that. It's so funny". I think Jesse and I have figured out why Emiley feels so much competition with Ariel and we're going to do our best to keep it in mind. We're trying to make Ariel realize what's going on too so she doesn't take anything personally. Emiley and Alley are really great kids... and I do think it's good that they're here, even when it's hard. Lord knows my kids need the interaction with others. Especially Ariel... I dont want her thinking she's the center of the universe when she starts school this fall.

Well I'm off to clean the house. Not much to do.. just laundry and get something out for dinner. I still havent gotten around to this office or the spare room. Maybe I'll get started on that. who knows.. I keep telling myself I'll get it done, just having a hard time with the making it happen part!

Oh yeah!

I meant to mention that Ariel actually wants a brother now! She made me buy the baby this outfit the other night with dinosaurs on the onesie and then a pair of matching pants with a little tricerotops on it. I kept that tags on just in case we are having a girl... even if it is one, I'll probably keep them and let the baby wear it. It is the first gift from his or her biggest sister and Ariel's a girl and into dinosaurs, so I can't be sexist against that one! lol.

8 days left... wow

We ran out last night and did some baby shopping! We got our monitors, a sleep positioner (I am bound to get this baby to sleep in its own bed), a snuzzler for the carseat, a pump, a mirror for the truck & baby wipes (mom is bringing the diapers)... so I think we're pretty much ready! We didnt get our baby name book but I'm hoping mom can find one and bring it over when they come to visit today. Then we'll be doing all right! Jesse's going to install the carseat in the truck today so we wont have to worry about that. I'm hoping mom managed to get the baby swing from Linda but if not, we'll be okay. It wont be the end of the world. Now I just need to pack the hospital bag.. I'll probably start on that today. I will not be packing last minute like we did with Ariel. I ended up forgetting to bring Jesse clothes! lol. At least we wont be far from the hospital here, so even if I miss something... he can run out and grab it! We've got the diaper bag packed. Now we just play the waiting game (can I mention how much this drives me insane?). I told Jesse if the baby hasn't come by next Friday, I'm asking to be induced that way it can come on a weekend and he wont have to miss work!

The girls are excited. Ariel really is. I think now that we're getting things together and ready, she realizes this will be happening soon. It seems so surreal. Part of me feels like this pregnancy has drug on and on (mainly since I hit 30 weeks) but another part of me can't believe we are in the last days of it! I'm so excited. I can't wait!

She's fine!

My little girl is okay! I had an appointment at the same time as hers so I wasn't with her but Jesse said the doctor was so nice and thorough and he really liked her. If he liked her, she must've been good, he's so picky about the doctors that deal with the girls! When I came out of my appointment (which ran over beause they did a non stress test) and saw they weren't out... I about freaked. I was sure they were doing all kinds of tests or the fact that it taking so long was bad news. I felt so sick waiting! After about a half hour they come out and she's all smiles. Jesse told me it was just lymph nodes from her being sick and I wanted to just cry! We're going to schedule her for a five year check up soon (and Clarity needs to get in for her two year). The doctor said she'll probably refer us to a dermatologist to get her "watch" (birthmark) removed at that appointment. Ariel's kind of afraid of that already, but we'll see what they say about it when we have to cross that bridge. Oh and she got weighed... she weighs 39 1/2 lbs. We got her new carseat in the nick of time!

My doctor's appointment went fine. I think I've capped off at 130 lbs. Hopefully I wont have trouble losing the weight after this baby comes. I told Jesse I'll have to bust out the ab lounge to get ready for Lori's wedding. lol. The midwife told me that the baby turned and isn't posterior anymore which is good news. Amazing how she could do that just by feeling my stomach. She was telling me she could feel features on its face. crazy! Clarity was an absolute angel during my appointment. She just sat in the chair all quiet and held her baby panda snugglekins we got her for Christmas. The nurses and midwife were so surprised at how good she was... and how serious! lol. She is so shy around people and keeps such a serious face. Ariel was a little social butterfly smiling and talking to everyone. It's amazing how alike they are and yet how different!

Well I dont have Alley and Emiley this weekend as planned. Lisa called me last night and they ended up going to their dad's. Lisa sounded horrible sick so that's probably a good thing. She could hardly talk. Plus I didn't get any sleep last night and I just feel worn out this weekend... so being able to rest is always nice! I was looking forward to it, but there will be other times, times when I'm feeling more up to it.

Jesse's at work for a bit today. The granite place is entering some home shows and they asked Jesse what he would put in one. He told them a granite sink would be a good show piece and they asked him if he would come in and start working on it. So that makes up for him missing out on work yesterday. I told Jesse they must really value his opinion on things because they are always going to him for ideas and now he's the only one that templates and they've given him the job of collecting checks...which puts a lot of trust in him, especially after what just happened with the former manager there (long story but lots and lots of embezzlement).

Well I need to get going and start cleaning and get the girls some lunch. I think we're going to the grocery store this afternoon and to pick up some last minute baby items... baby name book for sure! hehe. My main point of jumping on here today was to Thank God for my healthy little girl :o)

Off to the doctor!

Not for me though. I had to call and schedule Ariel an appointment for the pediatrician because last night at walmart I put my hand around her neck to lead her away from the toys, and I felt a lump. Of course my heart is racing with all the bad thoughts that can overcome your mind with something like that. I had Jesse feel it and we decided to get it checked out. It's probably just a swollen lymph node from her being sick this past week... but I'm not taking any chances. I sent her inside the grocery store with him last night after we left walmart and I had a good cry. I knew I couldnt do it in front of her or let her see me worried & scared. It felt good to get that out. So at 3:15 pm today we'll be at sylva Pediatrics hopefully being told that's she's fine and feeling relieved.

I got a call from Lisa this morning and I watch Alley & Emiley this weekend from 6 am- 2 pm both days. So that will help with Jesse having to take off of work early. I really dont want him having to take off some Monday for my appointment.. I may just cancel. lol. okay scratch that. I just called and I have an appointment at the same time as Ariel today. Luckily they're in the same area next to the hospital so I'm going to get to Ariel's early, fill out all of her paperwork and Jesse is going to stay with her while I run over to my doctor (with Clarity.. fun fun.. hehe). So we're knocking out all appointments today and Jesse wont have to miss any work Monday. Phew. Busy day. We'll probably get some of our grocery shopping done while we're out there as well.

Busy, busy, busy!!

Nothing More than Rain!

I can't even begin to tell you how relieved I was when out of nowhere the storm system weakened (the weather channel wasn't expecting that one.. must have been all the prayers!) and we didnt get more than rain and wind yesterday. I feel for all of those who weren't so blessed... the last count I saw on CNN this morning was 55 deaths and I dont know the count of actual tornadoes but it did say over a thousand warnings went off! That was crazy scary.

Yesterday I ended up sleeping all day long. God must've known I needed it because Clarity slept with me on the couch and Ariel bless her little heart just quietly entertained herself by watching cartoons, coloring or playing with her dinosaurs. She honestly is such a blessing and such a great little girl. Clarity is too, don't get me wrong, it's just amazing that Ariel let me get all the sleep I needed. She didn't bother me for anything (of course I did get up and feed her lunch and snacks... I didn't just sleep and let the kid go hungry. lol).

Today though, I dont want to be so lazy. I have great ambition to get all of my laundry caught up and put away and clean the office as well as my usual dishes, cleaning the floors, straightening up and cooking dinner. So I'm about to go grab a shower and get started. Hopefully I wont tire before I get done... lol.. I'll do my best! Hope everyone has a happy day!

A Nervous wreck!

The weather is awful. Not here... not yet. Just in the southeast. They are saying it's one of the worst February tornado outbreaks in history. So far the count is 57 tornadoes in three states and 31 deaths (although unfortunately since it happened at night the numbers will more than likely climb as daylight allows damage surveys and rescues). I've been watching a storm move towards murphy all morning... a tornado warning for Chattanooga Tennesse, then Cleveland, now it's Polk County (the next county over from mom and dad). I can't even tell you how sick I am. Between being tired and overly stressed... I feel like throwing up. I'm actually surprised it hasn't happened yet. I didn't want Jesse to go to work but I couldnt ask him to stay home. I'm worried about my parents & family, the girls and myself, Jesse. I hate that we're all apart. I keep praying to God this monster will weaken and we'll all be fine. More than likely, we will, but you know me and my fear of storms and tornadoes. It's my own personal demon. so tons of prayers going out this morning to those who have gone through this and those that have to deal with it later. Prayers that my family will be kept safe and we wont even see any severe weather. I'll be back on later today... hopefully to say that nothing happened and all is fine!

Better Today

Everyone seems to be on the mend... THANK GOD! Ariel said she's feeling pretty good. Her cough and sore throat are gone and she hasn't had to have any Tylenol so that's great. She also slept through the night (as did Clarity). It was so nice having them both asleep before 11... Jesse and I kicked back in the loveseat and enjoyed some Mythbusters before he was out. Then I went and slept on the couch with the girls. We havent slept in our bed in weeks... I just find the couch more comfortable right now and I guess Jesse hates being by himself so he usually sleeps in the living room with us. Clarity also seems to be doing nearly 100% better from yesterday. She's rowdy and hyper and bugging her sister. lol. She ate cereal and spaghetti o's and drank her juice and hasn't cried with a stomach ache or thrown up. I forgot to ask Jesse how he was feeling when he called on his lunch break. I guess he's fine. He was more concerned with how the girls were doing and to make sure I was okay. He was happy to hear all was good.. I think it makes his day easier to know that.

They've put him in charge of templating so he's going out on his own all the time. I bet he loves that. It probably makes the day go by a lot faster. He's never thrilled when he's stuck in the shop, so I'm happy for him.

We just got over our weekend and I'm already counting down this upcoming one. As long as I'm not watching Emiley and Alley we're going to hit asheville again. We still need to pick up a carseat cover and head cushion for the baby. It's still so weird to me that a huge mall, Target, Kohls, Chuck E Cheese, and pretty much anything else I can imagine is just a half hour drive away. I guess that's what happens when you're stuck with being happy with only having a super walmart for so many years! lol.

Update on today!

Thank goodness it went great! Lisa and her girls (alley and emiley) came over and I have to say I liked all three of them. I think they liked us too... all four girls (hers and mine) had a blast running around, squealing and playing with eachother while Lisa and I talked. It thrilled me that they were all getting along! Then Emiley made my day by drawing me a picture. It's nice to know that these girls wont feel terrified and they liked it here. When Lisa was trying to round them up to go they kept saying they didnt want to and Lisa asked them if they would like to come back later and they excitedly replied "yeah!". She said she'll definately need me. She's just starting her job tomorrow but she wont need me for a few days because the girls' dad will have them. So we shall see. Any money coming in is great and honestly I'm looking forward to those girls coming back because they were so blessed cute and mine had so much fun playing with them! Turns out Emiley rides the bus that drives right by our house.. so if Ariel ever rides the bus.. she'll know someone! That's a relief!

Oh and Clarity finally woke up from her hours on end nap when they showed up and she seems to be feeling a bit better. She had energy to play and she's taken a bath and eaten some banana. Hopefully all the puke is over. I pray so! It makes me so sad to see her choke and struggle.. I hate that so badly!

It's raining.. it's pouring

Literally and figuratively speaking! It has been a dreary, cloudy, rainy day all day long. And this morning didn't start off so hot. I almost had the girls ready for my doctor's appointment (Jesse was giving them breakfast) when Clarity came and started acting all sleepy in my lap. Next thing I know the poor baby is throwing up all over the place. So I had to take her and get her in the shower and all cleaned up. So we get on the road and once we're in Sylva we stop at a gas station to get some donuts. Clarity's all wanting some and she seemed fine, so I gave them to her. Jesse parks in the doctor's office and him and the girls wait in the truck (dont want to contaminate the place with germs). As I'm waiting to see the midwife, my phone starts going off. Poor Clarity had thrown up all over Jesse. I ask my nurse if she had any paper towels I could run out to them and she was sooo sweet and helpful and even gave us some clorox disinfectant wipes. lol. So Clarity got stripped down and had Ariel's sweater put on her and Jesse just wore his jacket (he had to take off his shirt) and PJ pants (thank goodness he was dressed in double layers preparing for it to be cold, when it wasn't that bad today). I went back in and finished my appointment... lol...

As far as my appointment goes all is okay, I guess. I had to leave two urine samples. The first one had blood and white blood cells in it. So they wanted another to send to the lab to see if it's a bladder infection or just my body preparing towards the end of this pregnancy. If they call that means infection and I have to start on antibiotics. yay!

Other than that not much to say. Baby did move down some (don't know if it turned around or not, I forgot to ask with all of the Clarity drama). She said I'm measuring smaller but that's probably because baby has dropped some. I did notice it's a bit easier to breathe but I'm still feeling a lot of action in my ribs so it didnt move too much!

So now I'm home with the girls and Jesse's at work. Clarity ate some chicken noodle soup (just a bit) and went to sleep on the couch so far no more throwing up, I pray it stays that way. Ariel is still kind of sick, but nothing meltaways don't help. Hopefully we'll get done passing germs and viruses before the new baby gets here. This is exactly why I dont even want the girls going to the hospital.. all it takes is a minute to get some germ on your clothes and then I have a sick newborn on my hands. Hate, hate, hate cold and flu season! Jesse and I are getting a carseat cover so we can carry it out of the hospital without exposing it to anything (plus it keeps it warm too).

I'm meeting with Lisa and her girls today around 3. So I'll probably be back to update how that goes. I pray these are great little girls and they get along with mine and I pray Lisa likes me and decides to use me to watch her kids. Any extra money is good right now!

wheeee!

You've got to love winter time. The snow, the cool air, the holidays and my favorite the germs! bleh! Last night as we were leaving Wal-mart Ariel complained of a tickle in her throat. An hour or two after we get home she had a cough and and her throat felt worse. She wakes up crying at around 4 am and I get up and get her some tylenol meltaways. Thank God that did the trick and she was sound asleep within a half hour. I however, didn't get so lucky. I tossed and turned and couldnt get comfortable. Then wake up this morning and I felt okay... not great but I assumed it was from lack of sleep. I cleaned out the fridge and did the dishes then ate some breakfast. Here it is nearly noon and wow has it hit. I feel like a semi truck has plowed into my body. The body aches and headache are awful! I took some tylenol (and I hardly ever take anything so you know it's bad) and Jesse gave me some vitamin C. He says he's feeling "run down" too. Hopefully this is very short lived and we'll all feel better tomorrow. Lisa (the girl that wants me to babysit) called yesterday while we were all fine... and I think we're supposed to meet tomorrow and if she works (and likes me), I'll probably be watching her little girl. So this bug better vacate asap. Knock on wood.. there are no fevers.. so that's something to be happy about! Oh and so far Claire Bear is doing okay... I pray God has mercy on her since she had the tummy bug the other day and we didn't... and she doesnt catch this mess!

A bit of a heavy heart

Today I went on the Hannah and Lily blog... I hardly go on there because of the emotions it evokes for me. Hannah is the reason I started blogging myself and her mom is just amazing. A pillar of strength. How she keeps such a positive outlook on things after losing her five year old is beyond me. In her entry she was saying how she thanks God everynight for the time he let her spend with Han. She's sad she's gone but she knows God has a reason and she knows she was blessed to have had her in her life. Wow.

Then tonight I read about a family whose two year old son woke up with a cold, passed out, was taken to the hospital and died. So between Han who was the same age as Ariel and this little boy.. who was probably around Clarity's age.. I'm just sad for these famililes and giving the girls more hugs and kisses than normal. I can't even imagine losing one of my babies and it's selfish but I pray I never have to face that harsh reality. I don't think I'd have a positive outlook, I don't think I could make it.

Right now Jesse took the girls out with him and left me home (a first!). T hey went to pick up Pizza Hut and some milk. I thought I would relish this time of peace but I miss them. This house is way too quiet.

My Poor Pumpkin!

This morning I was supposed to meet with a girl, her fiance, and their four year old about babysitting for them. So I'm cleaning the house and getting ready and Clarity keeps laying in the middle of the floor. I figured she was just having a hard time getting up and moving.. which isn't unusual for her. I did ask her if she was sick and she looked at me and said "uh huh". I still brushed it off... she wasn't running a fever or anything so I kept doing what I was doing. Well I hear Ariel call me, "mama! Clarity is sick! She just threw up!". So I go into their play room (the only room with carpet of course) and see a huge splatter of throw up. Then there's another one in the kitchen. Clarity's not crying (Thank goodness...I was afraid she'd hit freak mode since this is her first time really throwing up) but she's walking in circles spitting and has a horrible face. The first thing I did before cleaning it was I called that girl and left her a message. She's newly pregnant and I didnt want to expose her or her four year old to a stomach virus. Lord knows no one wants to deal with that. I dont know if I'll hear from her again or not but that doesnt matter. It would have been nice to make some money but my priority right now is my sick baby girl. She's been sleeping on the loveseat most of the day but actually woke up to eat lunch so fingers crossed it stays down! I'm also hoping none of the rest of us get it. I guess that would be one way to bring on labor.. but I really dont want to go that route. lol.

Oh I wanted to post pics of some of the stuff we bought for the baby last weekend.

Here's the Rainforest Playpen with bassinet. It plays music, has a nightlight, a mobile and all that stuff. Plus it's cute!

And here is the carseat. We got a graco

snugride in Jungle adventure. It has these cute lions, hippos, giraffes, and alligators on it.

I'm having trouble finding a pic of the diaper bag we got. It's a big brown Classic Pooh one. It has the older version of Pooh and Piglet on it and it's sooo cute but guy enough that Jesse will carry it around. Plus it has tons of room! I'm sure I'll get around to taking real pics of the stuff we bought as soon as it's all ready. We still havent set anything up yet. Not sure why we're wating.

Well my heart is pounding. Clarity just came in crying about her foot. I look at it and it was bright red and looked like she was having a bad reaction of some sort. So immediately I'm grabbing her up and examining her feet wondering if I should make my call to Jesse to come home or 911. She stopped crying and it went away so I'm wondering if she stood in front of one of our heaters and that made it all red. I swear nothing makes you worry like your babies! She's fine now. Her and Ariel are laying in the living room on the blankets Heather made for them (which are soooo cute and soft! I need to get pics of those too) and they are watching the Backyardigans.

Clarity ate two helpings of chicken and dumplings and drank a whole glass of chocolate milk. I wanted her to take it easy and eat a bit and drink water... but nope... not her. She was hungry! lol. So far so good. I'm saying my prayers!

Thought I should add

A complete tragedy. Prayers and thoughts are with his family, friends and loved ones. We'll miss you Heath!!

More on this past weekend...

Since I had my big pregnancy whine party, I'll talk about the girls and what we did this past weekend. We took them to Chuck E Cheese this past Sunday since we got out of David's Bridal and having dinner a bit late. Of course I forgot my darn camera at home and didn't get any pics, so that figures! The place was a madhouse. Linda, Ricky and Brittany stopped in to see the girls for a bit and they loved that! They also loved seeing Lori and David over the weekend. Ariel said she remembered David and we talked about how he was a police.. that's her big thing now.. she wants to be a police. lol. Lori is being so sweet about letting both of the girls be flower girls in the wedding. I can't wait to see it.. I bet it will be so cute. She picked the most adorable dresses for them to wear. They looked like little Cinderellas when we had them try them on! Beautiful! Ariel's excited for the wedding.. she keeps asking me how many tomorrows away it is. Hopefully both of the girls will be happy and cooperative on May 3rd and the wedding will go off perfectly. I'm sure it will be gorgeous. I'm looking forward to it! Since I didnt have a wedding, I'll live vicariously through Lori. lol.

Tired and Done!

Well this pregnancy WAS flying by... now each minute seems to just tick tick tick. 37 weeks and 2 days. It's getting really difficult now. Nausea is back in full force and I never feel like eating. I asked my doctor about it and she said it's completely normal and sometimes it's just easier to throw up. I dont want to! Been there, done that, and dont want to look back! Also found out the baby is posterior. Wonderful! This means it's back is facing my back instead of the other way around like it's supposed to. She said if it doesnt turn, it probably will during labor but this makes labor long, painful, and difficult. It also means bad back labor.. which I pray I dont have to suffer through because I HATE back pain. yay! Should have known I wouldnt have a breezy labor like I did with the girls. The whole pregnancy has been a pain in my butt! lol. I guess we'll see how things go within the next few weeks.



Jesse and I did get our carseat, playpen/bassinet, diaper bag and a few sleepers while we were in Asheville this past weekend. So we're ready enough! lol. For some reason buying this stuff made it hit me that this is really happening. Jesse of course thought I was crazy but I was nearly having a panic attack thinking about it. There is no turning back. I'm going to be a mama to three. Crazy!



We had a fun weekend. It was nice seeing Lori and David. This is the dress I ended up picking out for my bridesmaid dress. It comes with optional spaghetti straps. I guess I'll decide if I'll wear them or not once I get it altered and see how it looks both ways. I love this dress.. at first I wasn't sure about it, but it really is pretty! I'm glad Lori picked a gorgeous color too. I love it!

So ready... so not!

36 weeks and one day... and the countdown is on. I'm almost to the full term mark of 37 weeks but that doesnt mean much to me. lol. Ariel came at 39 weeks and 3 days and Clarity came at 40 weeks and 1 day so I don't consider myself a candidate for going much earlier than that anymore. Jesse told me that was a silly way of thinking... I think he's paranoid. It's sneaking up on him. lol.

We still havent even gotten a carseat or the bassinet yet... so if I were to go early, we'd be in trouble. I think he wants to go back to Target this weekend while we're in Asheville and pick up the stuff we were looking at last weekend. So not only are we not ready for this baby to come in that aspect, I'd like to get the house totally ready and get our taxes done (OMG that is a chore and a half and I HATE it).

My 36 week appointment was yesterday and went okay. As good as could be expected anyways since they had to do the strep B test. I'll find out next Monday if that came out positive or not.. knowing my luck this pregnancy it probably did. lol. I'm still gaining weight (ugh that can stop anytime now, I'm at 130 lbs) and my blood pressure was good. Baby is head down still but high (big surprise.. I could have told her that being I can barely breathe all the time). No dialation yet but she said my cervix is soft. Maybe we'll have some progress soon. Well even that wouldnt mean much... lol.. I was dialated 3 cm for over 3 weeks with Clarity and she still made her appearance a day late! Stinker!

Ariel's birthday was terrible! Clarity decided to be an escape artist and snuck out the door (I always check the latch as soon as I get up, but that morning, I just forgot). Anyways I realize the door was open and go flying outside to see a red car with some lady asking Clarity where her mama was. I scoop up clarity and the lady starts screaming at me what a horrible mother I was, how dare I let my baby run the streets and that was a good way to get her killed. As if I wasn't beating myself up over it already! I felt if she were about to stone me. It was an accident. A stupid one on my part.. but that's what it was. I spent the entire day and most of the night (I think I stopped at midnight) crying and feeling horrible. We were supposed to take Ariel out to Chuck E cheese that night but since I was so depressed we waited until the next day. We did end up having a lot of fun and I took some super cute pics with the digital... but yesterday I realized Ariel had gotten it down to take "her" pictures and deleted them all! I'll have to take them back this Saturday. Jesse, the girls and I are meeting Lori in Asheville to go to Davids Bridal and try and find me a bridesmaids dress and get the girls fitted for their flower girl dresses. I'm looking forward to it.. just hope I can find something that looks decent on me!

Worry and stress

They suck! Badly! I dont know if it's the pregnancy or what but I will wake up in the wee hours of the morning with my mind racing about all the different things in my life I'm worried about. Money...bills.. and lately... Ariel starting kindergarten! I know it's not until August but I'm dreading it. I won't be there for my baby and it kills me that I won't know what's going on with her. If she's being picked on, if she's sad, if she doesn't understand something. She keeps asking me how long until she starts because she's nervous and not ready to go. Her being worried about it makes me worried about it. Will she adjust okay? She's such a mama's girl and even though she's a total tomboy, she's super sensative too. God it just kills me I'm stressing out over all of this already!

She's going to be five tomorrow *cry*. It's just hitting me how fast the past five years have gone by. I look at pictures of her as a newborn.. a toddler.. and now a gorgeous little girl and I just break down. Why do they have to grow so fast? Why can't I just slow it down? Life just seems to breeze by once you have a child. I wanted to just curl up and cry last night realizing every year they get older is a year Jesse and I are getting older. I just pray to God I have a long, long time to spend with these beautiful people God has blessed me with.

Okay *deep breath* I need to dry my tears and get my face cleared up before Ariel realizes I'm upset. Right now she's outside playing in the snow. Yes, snow! We got a couple of inches last night and she's having a blast. I let her play out for a few minutes then bring her in to get her warmed up.. then she's back out again. She's thrilled.

Okay I definately must go now. Clarity just walked in and appearently little miss got into the nesquick powder. Her face and hands look like she's been playing in mud! Time for a bath! Thank God I have these angels to cheer me up when I feel worry and stress getting the best of me.

34 weeks 2 days

and I am so over this pregnancy crap! lol. This time around has been unbelievably difficult compared to Ariel & Clarity. A few weeks ago I woke up with this horrible sharp pain right under my sternum and I could hardly breathe let alone move. That dang pain lasted from 5 am until 3 pm. It stopped right as I was deciding I had suffered enough and was going to the ER. I was worried it was a gallbladder attack. But it hasn't returned... THANK GOD.

I did have to go to the ER the other night. My ankle had been hurting (felt like a sprain even though I hadn't done anything to it) for a few days. Well when the pain started moving up into my calf I started looking it up online and worried myself sick that I had DVT. So we went to the ER.. rather be safe than sorry...and they did an ultrasound to make sure there were no blood clots. All was clear so that was a huge relief. Just another crappy effect this baby is having on my body.

I am a total whiner! I'll be glad to have this baby just so I dont hear myself. I hate whiners. I hate crybabies.. and yet that's all I'm doing lately. Gah! Just a few more weeks!

On a bright note.. my last doctor appointment went well. I'm up to 128 lbs so she was happy about that. Baby's head is down. They are not doing another ultrasound (boo!) because they said my uterus has been measuring right on for being due Feb 18th. They said they'll use caution though and if I go into labor around 37 weeks (please God let it happen.. lol) even though that's full term for the Feb. date they'll have me have the baby in Asheville just in case because they have a neonatal unit. If I go a week past Feb. 18th.. I get induced. So either way it's happening next month. It can't happen soon enough for me!