Worry and stress

They suck! Badly! I dont know if it's the pregnancy or what but I will wake up in the wee hours of the morning with my mind racing about all the different things in my life I'm worried about. Money...bills.. and lately... Ariel starting kindergarten! I know it's not until August but I'm dreading it. I won't be there for my baby and it kills me that I won't know what's going on with her. If she's being picked on, if she's sad, if she doesn't understand something. She keeps asking me how long until she starts because she's nervous and not ready to go. Her being worried about it makes me worried about it. Will she adjust okay? She's such a mama's girl and even though she's a total tomboy, she's super sensative too. God it just kills me I'm stressing out over all of this already!

She's going to be five tomorrow *cry*. It's just hitting me how fast the past five years have gone by. I look at pictures of her as a newborn.. a toddler.. and now a gorgeous little girl and I just break down. Why do they have to grow so fast? Why can't I just slow it down? Life just seems to breeze by once you have a child. I wanted to just curl up and cry last night realizing every year they get older is a year Jesse and I are getting older. I just pray to God I have a long, long time to spend with these beautiful people God has blessed me with.

Okay *deep breath* I need to dry my tears and get my face cleared up before Ariel realizes I'm upset. Right now she's outside playing in the snow. Yes, snow! We got a couple of inches last night and she's having a blast. I let her play out for a few minutes then bring her in to get her warmed up.. then she's back out again. She's thrilled.

Okay I definately must go now. Clarity just walked in and appearently little miss got into the nesquick powder. Her face and hands look like she's been playing in mud! Time for a bath! Thank God I have these angels to cheer me up when I feel worry and stress getting the best of me.

34 weeks 2 days

and I am so over this pregnancy crap! lol. This time around has been unbelievably difficult compared to Ariel & Clarity. A few weeks ago I woke up with this horrible sharp pain right under my sternum and I could hardly breathe let alone move. That dang pain lasted from 5 am until 3 pm. It stopped right as I was deciding I had suffered enough and was going to the ER. I was worried it was a gallbladder attack. But it hasn't returned... THANK GOD.

I did have to go to the ER the other night. My ankle had been hurting (felt like a sprain even though I hadn't done anything to it) for a few days. Well when the pain started moving up into my calf I started looking it up online and worried myself sick that I had DVT. So we went to the ER.. rather be safe than sorry...and they did an ultrasound to make sure there were no blood clots. All was clear so that was a huge relief. Just another crappy effect this baby is having on my body.

I am a total whiner! I'll be glad to have this baby just so I dont hear myself. I hate whiners. I hate crybabies.. and yet that's all I'm doing lately. Gah! Just a few more weeks!

On a bright note.. my last doctor appointment went well. I'm up to 128 lbs so she was happy about that. Baby's head is down. They are not doing another ultrasound (boo!) because they said my uterus has been measuring right on for being due Feb 18th. They said they'll use caution though and if I go into labor around 37 weeks (please God let it happen.. lol) even though that's full term for the Feb. date they'll have me have the baby in Asheville just in case because they have a neonatal unit. If I go a week past Feb. 18th.. I get induced. So either way it's happening next month. It can't happen soon enough for me!

We shall see!

Winter storm warning! Supposedly we could get between 4-6 inches of snow starting tomorrow. What a way that would be to start the new year! But I'm not so optimistic.. I'm always hoping to see some nice winter weather and then they change it to rain at the last minute or it misses us. But then again.. that was when we lived in Murphy. My hopes might not be so squashed here. lol.

My house is nearly completely in order. I can't believe it. All I have left to do is put a bunch of clothes away... mostly compliments of Ariel & Clarity. How do two little girls aquire sooooo much stuff? It's insane! I'm hoping to work on getting that done today and then we have a few random boxes of "junk" I can muddle through and toss stuff or put it away but I'm really impressed at how much has actually gotten accomplished. Our plumbing is really screwy right now and our landlord is supposed to have a plumber come out. One toilet is barely working, the other we're refusing to use, when we run the washer (which I havent done lately because of this) the suds come up in the toilet we're not using. lol. Now for the fun tidbit.. our house smells like shyte. I have no idea what's wrong but it needs to get fixed.. ASAP! That's one reason I'm glad we rent, when something serious happens... it's not us that has to deal with it!

Mom and dad are coming over today. I know the girls are thrilled. I think that's the only thing Ariel misses about Murphy.. being able to see Grandma and Abu all the time. But she really loves it here. Actually we all do. It's a nice change and I'm happy we did it.

I had a panic moment this morning that I havent had the whole time I've been pregnant. That "will I love this baby as much as I do the others" feeling. I had that complete fear when I was pregnant with Claire and of course, it was a complete waste of my time feeling that way because when she came it was like she had been here all along and I love both of my girls the same... with all my heart. I guess I'm really worried about giving equal attention to three. I mean with two.. Jesse can devote to one, me the other and then trade. Three is going to be crazy. But then I think we have two wonderful little girls that are going to help give the third attention. Ariel is actually excited (for now she's over her jealousy thing and is looking forward to her new baby brother or sister) and I know Clarity is going to be thrilled. I just have to trust God that it will all fall into place and that this is what is meant for our family.

2008... Right around the corner

Hard to believe another year has come... and gone. I dont know what it is but the older I get, the faster time goes. My little princess is going to start kindergarten this coming year. I knew it was coming, but wow, it still just shocks me. I actually laid awake for hours the other night thinking about that and worrying. worrying kids would pick on her or that she'll feel left out. Worried she'll miss being home and be sad. I know she'll be fine, but my mind really plays things up sometimes. Still so hard to believe how fast the girls are growing.

Christmas was good. We just stayed home and celebrated with the girls and that was nice. I missed mom, dad & Patrick but I'm sure they'll be coming to visit soon. They got the girls a lot of nice stuff and I made sure to tell Ariel it was from Grandma, Abu, Patrick & of course Santa. I can say one thing about Christmas this year.. it was nice not hearing anyone gripe about anything. lol.

I'm still waiting for my snow! We've only seen flurries but I'm hoping living out here closer to the Smokeys, we'll see more than we did in Murphy. I think we're supposed to see snow showers on new year's but we'll see. So far everytime they've said that, it's just been rain.

Well I better go and help Jess finish unpacking and cleaning. I'm finally seeing light at the end of the tunnel in that department. Slowly but surely!

Christmas Pics

Yay!

Jesse is now working a normal 8-5 job Monday through Friday. He's working at a granite shop in Asheville and making just as much as he did doing satellite work. He's still going to do the satellite thing on Saturdays but at least we'll always have sundays together and evenings. I dont know what we'll do actually being able to spend time together! We're really excited. We'll only have to fill up the gas tank once a week and he'll always be a half hour away. I cant believe it. It's funny because he's the only American guy there. Everyone else is from like Russia, Ukraine, or Turkey. There's only two men that can speak english so theres a bit of a language barrier. That's interesting to say the least but they really seem to like him so that's good!

I can't believe how close Christmas is! OMG. I have so much to do. Last night I had a rough time with contractions and a backache. I nearly made Jesse take me in to be checked but I fell asleep and all seems well today. How can they expect you to take it easy when you have a house to take care of and two other kids? I went in to the doctor the other day and she has to consult with the midwife on my due date. By my period it should be mid February (they say 18th, I say 22nd). Yet during my ultrasound the baby was measuring like it's due March 4th. The doctor I saw the other day said they should use the March date because they generally go by the ultrasound but my uterus was measuring like I'm due around the 18th. So she's going to talk to the midwife and see if they're going to keep the Feb. date, move it to March, or do another ultrasound to double check the baby's size. I'm hoping for the ultrasound. lol. They better not move me to March.. I'm having doubts about making it into February!

Well that's about all that's new for now. I need to go clean my floors. Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays (I've totally got my Nsync going and I'm so in the Christmassy mood)!

Moved in.. not exactly settled!

We're in our new house now. I hate moving. I hate it! I hate it! I hate it! Did I mention I hate moving? lol. But we're finally here. I still have a lot to do but I need Jesse's help. It seems if I'm standing for too long or I work at something too hard.. I start getting contractions and my tailbone starts throbbing. So I have to take it very easy. I'm only 31 weeks.. much too early to deal with that stuff.

Oh I can't believe I havent had the time to update this blog but I passed the 3 hour glucose test. It was miserable as I expected and Jesse and I swore I wasn't going to keep from throwing up that first hour.. but somehow I trudged through it. My numbers didn't go down like they were supposed to, but I wasn't above the limit so they considered me passing. I was so glad. I go to the doctor in a couple of days so I should be able to find out when I get my second ultrasound.

Well the past few days have been so much fun (insert sarcasm in my voice here). My parents have spent the past two nights which has been great, especially because they were so helpful. But the first night they stayed Ariel complained she had a belly ache. I asked if she felt sick and she said no, it just hurt. I gave her a children's pepto tablet and we went to bed. Not even an hour later I wake up to find her sitting there just throwing up everywhere. Poor Jesse woke up and was in a daze. Its like he didn't grasp what was happening then she let out a huge flow of it and he jumps up "OH GOD". lol. So I got her in the bath while he stripped the bed (thank God we use a waterproof mattress cover). After I got her out, I made her and I a little bed on the floor with blankets because since our mattress cover was dirty, I didnt want to risk her getting sick on the bed. Well it's a good thing.. she threw up every 45 mins to an hour from 11:30 pm until 5:30 am. It was so sad to watch. I didn't even sleep. I wanted to be awake to comfort her everytime it happened. She's so brave.. she never cried. She would start to panic and cry and I'd just rub her back and hold her hair and tell her that she was fine and that I was there and her body was just getting rid of a bad germ. The next day she was okay.. ran a fever all day and slept. Only drank gatorade. Then today she woke up begging for popcorn. Nothing else would do. I finally gave in and gave her some and then she threw up on my couch! I felt bad because I actually got mad. Really mad. Not at her.. I know it wasn't her fault, but at the situation that I had to clean my new couch and pray the puke smell didnt stay. She seems okay now. She's eaten chicken noodle soup, drank gatorade, water & sprite and even ate some cheeseburger and fries from McDonalds (her request). So I pray we're over the worst and that Clarity doesnt get it. So far so good *knock on wood*. I despise stomach viruses!

Let's see.. what else. Oh Jesse's looking for another job. We moved all the way over here because they were always sending him this way and we couldnt afford the gas. Now that we're here, I bet you can't guess where he's been being sent to lately. *rolls eyes* Maybe things will work out. I pray so.

Well Patrick is sick. He's in a mental hospital right now being evaluated. They've given us a diagnosis but he wants it to remain confidential and that's his right. The only reason I know is because it needs to go in the girls medical history. The good news is at least someone has finally taken the time to figure it out. I always thought he was doing things for attention or just because... I had no idea he was sick like he is. Things will be okay now that we know what is going on. Not sure when he'll be released (it wont be long) but right now he's only 10 mins from our new place so that helps that mom and dad can stay here and then go visit him during visitation hours. Mom's dealing with a lot right now and it doesnt help my grandma wants to pry and is dying to find out what's going on with him. She's never cared any other time.. why bother now? And her comments about him being on crack certainly dont help. Mom told her we finally have a diagnosis but she doesnt want it spread all over cherokee county. Grandma got all offended.. "oh so I'm going to spread it around?" um... duh. lol. Of course she'd tell Linda and then Linda would tell Ricky and Ricky would tell who he wanted to. It's a vicious cycle. I like how well Grandma kept my pregnancy quiet so I had time to mail my announcements out (they still sit in a drawer.. why bother now that she told everyone). Sorry for my little tirade. Just frustrated that people dont back off and give my family space when we need it.

If you want to help us.. just pray. That's what we need.

okay not so good news!

That was terrible! The glucose test, I mean. It didnt help that I barely got any sleep the night before because of nausea and heartburn. On the way to the doctor's office I felt like I was about to be sick any second. I decided to distract myself and read my People magazine and whoo did that make things worse. I got such a bad case of carsickness! I never did throw up but I was sure concerned. lol. well we get to the doctor's office and it was time to drink that syrup garbage. I was so not in the mood. She pulls the bottle out of the fridge and I'm thinking, "there is no way I can ever drink all of that". Luckily I only had to drink half. I got the option of fruit punch or orange and decided to try fruit punch. YUCK! It burned my throat going down and with every swallow I felt like I was on an episode of Fear Factor struggling to keep it down. My nurse was such a sweetheart (she always is) and just kept asking me how I was feeling and laughing with me about how God awful it was. So I got it all down (and the good news.. it stayed there amazingly) and Jesse and I waited for our hour to be up. When it was I was surprised to find out they can now poke you in your finger and get the results then and there. Anemia check came back good.. surprise.. I was anemic with the girls. Then she made this face and Jesse and I knew something wasnt good. I failed the glucose test! nooooo! I so wasn't expecting that.. passed with flying colors with both of the girls. I told Jesse this one had better be his boy! So now I get to go back next Wednesday morning and drink a WHOLE bottle (dear Lord is that even possible? I could barely handle the half) of that mess and then get blood drawn every hour for three hours. I pray I pass. If not it means I have gestational diabetes and she said they would transfer me to the hospital for more testing and I guess that puts my pregnancy in the high risk category. Gah!

Other than that the appointment went good. I'm up to 124 lbs which means I've gained about 14 pounds in 2 1/2 months which I guess is okay. Especially considering the morning sickness made me lose like 7 or 8. I did find out they are going to do another ultrasound to get more of an idea when this little one is going to make an appearance. so that made me happy! Ultrasounds are always fun! Jesse said this was our last chance to find out.. and I said no way, we've waited this long, we can finish without knowing! lol.

Mom and dad came over and stayed with the girls yesterday which was a major help since we didn't have to drag them to the doctor appointment and bore them to tears. They made cupcakes together and played playstation, watched shrek 3, and all that so the girls had a great day. Mom helped me clean the top floor and that's done. Now we just have to clean and pack this floor and the basement and we can work on being out of here! Hopefully by the end of next week...

Waynesville here we come!

Finally! We found a house and we'll be moving in the next week or two. I'm sooooo excited and praying this move will be good for us and help us out. It's a brick 3 bedroom/2 bath with a fenced in grass yard (yay for the girls!!) and storage outside (yay for no clutter in the house!!). It's near downtown Waynesville and it's just a cute area. We went driving through downtown and it was just adorable because you have all the shops decorated for Christmas and just tons of people walking up and down the sidewalk. Such a change from Murphy! We're only 30 minutes to Asheville so we have an actual city with a mall and everything just a short drive away but we're living in a smaller community that I've heard is really safe and friendly. We told our property manager for this house we were moving and she's been so sweet about it. She says she understands why we're having to move and she's trying to line up someone to get in here as soon as we move so the owners dont get all bent out of shape for us breaking our lease early. God bless her!

Thanksgiving was nice. It was great getting out and seeing Grandma and paw paw. The girls have missed them. Brandon is really growing.. he's a cutie. I was completely exhausted Thanksgiving night... actually I feel completely exhausted all the time! I never get much sleep at night anymore but it's worth it.

Tomorrow is a doctors appointment.. I get to drink my glucose drink at 8:30 in the morning! eek! That stuff always makes me feel awful so I'm not looking forward to it and I'm praying it doesnt make me throw up with it being so early in the morning. We'll see. Hopefully all will go well! I'll update tomorrow on anything I find out.

I can't believe how fast time is going by! I'm 28 weeks and 2 days (and lazy me still hasnt taken the first picture of my tummy. I REALLY need to do that). Third trimester and I'm really feeling it. Between keeping up with the kids, the baby, and trying to pack and clean I feel myself getting worn out so fast. We're so not ready for this baby yet though! It's a scary thought that in less than 9 weeks I will be considered "full term". I need more time Lord! lol.

I've really got to start doing better!

me posting a new entry once a week or every two weeks is becoming a bad habit. I really need to update the blog at least every other day.

I am so tired right now. I finally got around to cleaning the fish tank. Clarity had dumped nearly an entire thing of fish food (and it was a big container) a couple of weeks ago. Sadly we only had a sole survivor..lol.. and Jesse and I have been too busy to be bothered cleaning that big tank, so the fish has been living the high life (not) in a bucket. Well I did it today. What a mess! There was so much algae, not to mention all the different treasures I found Clarity has tossed in. our fish is so happy now swimming around in his sparkling tank. I'm pretty darn proud of myself too. It took me hours to get it done and my body is so sore from doing it. I can't wait until Jesse comes home and sees it since we've always considered the fish "his" job.

Jesse's still working so I havent heard from him if he's called the woman back about the house. I can't believe how fast rentals go in the areas we're wanting to move to! The paper had just come out on Thursday and by Friday all of the rental homes were taken! Gah! There was one.. a three bedroom in downtown waynesville (exactly where we've been wanting to be). So Jesse was hoping after work today it would still be there and we could go look at it and maybe give the woman a deposit. We're worried it's either 1) going to be taken or 2) be a total dump! lol. I guess we'll find out either way when Jesse's off work and gives her a call. Praying God really pulls something through for us. We've got to get out of here!

Here's a shocker that just hit me today. In two days I will be in my last trimester! Woah. I dont understand how both of the pregnancies with the girls seemed to drag on and this one is flying by. Probably because I'm pretty sure it's my last and want to cherish it and because we're soooooo not ready!

Oh and to update on the sickness... we all ended up getting Ariel's cold and that seemed to linger forever! But I think we're all good now (I still have some congestion) and I finally got the girls in the other day for flu shots! I totally hate cold/flu season!

Poor Bittles!

Poor Ariel is a sick little thing right now. She started having a funny feeling in her throat while we were trick or treating. Then the next day she didnt feel much better. Yesterday she just slept and slept and slept... I dont think she was awake more than 20 minutes the entire day. She's still running a fever and now she's got a horrible cough. Pray for my little girl. If she's not better by the end of this weekend... off to Urgent Care we go. And please God somehow let Clarity escape getting this. Please!

Halloween Pics!

Okay speedy update!

Wow it's been a while since I've been on here. So here's a quick update (you know my quick stuff..it will probably be a novel).

We took the girls to Six Flags on the last day of the season. We all had a blast.. even though I swore by the parking lot it was going to be horribly crowded.. it was fine! The weather couldn't have been more perfect and the girls got to ride a ton! Jesse and I had to buy season passes for next year (boohoo..not) because our print and go tickets somehow had already been used even though we weren't the ones that used them..hmmmm. So since season passes were only $20 more a piece then regular admission, we went that route. I'm sure we'll be taking the girls a ton when they open back up! Already looking forward to it!

Halloween was good. We took the girls to a thing called "Alien Invasion Area 51" held at a school on the 30th. For the Learning Center to hav done it, it was awesome. They had games, a bouncy land, dj with dancing, an area 51 walk through (which Ariel and Jesse did together. Clarity slept the whole time so mom, dad and I just chilled in chairs with her). Then on Halloween mom and dad came with us and we took the girls Trick or Treating. Jesse adn I bought the girls a gingerbread haunted house to decorate on Halloween but we were so wiped out... we did it on November 1st. So they had a 3 day Halloween extravaganza. lol. Jesse is now 26!

I've been feeling good. Baby is moving quite a lot now and likes to hang out and kick under the ribcage. lol. I'm getting so anxious to meet this little one and I've still got a few months to go yet!

Jesse's been working but has had a bad couple of weeks. Hopefully he's out of the slump and things will look up. We're still looking for a place to move to. I put an ad up on Craigslist and the Iwanna so hopefully we'll find the "right place" soon.

On a good note we got our furniture (well the living room set.. dining room set wont be ready for another month). So we're thrilled. It's so comfy and nice! Loving it!

The silence is broken

word is finally out! My parents now know their third grandchild is on its way. I was so glad they came over today. The stress of money and probably just the changes this pregnancy makes my body feel, were overwhelming today. I was on the verge of a major panic attack when I handed Ariel the phone and asked her to call Grandma and see if she had the day off. Thank God.. they were already on their way over and were here in a matter of minutes! I really need my mommy and daddy today.

As I was sweeping the floor, I ran and handed Clarity a pregnancy announcement that we had made and told her to go give it to Grandma. She happily did so. I think mom just thought it was some cute little card I had made. Then she read it. lol. Her reaction was priceless, I wish I had the video camera going. She said "Holy Sh**" I think five times and stood up. I told her I wasn't sure if that was a good reaction or not. lol. She said it was. Then she showed my dad the announcement and he seemed genuinely happy too. They said it was about time they've gotten some good news. So that was a relief. I think they were really suprised at how far along I am. I told them at least they dont have that long of a wait now!

Well Jesse finally gets tomorrow off. Thank God.. there's so much we need to get done. I probably should go to the dmv and get me a new license since I have no idea where mine is. We have to do our grocery shopping, blah blah blah. A day of errands. Poor Jesse.. I wish there was just one day where he had to do nothing on his day off. Being he has to go just about two weeks to get one it seems! Maybe I'll do the grocery shopping early in the morning with the girls while he's in bed or something. We'll see.

Jim our neighbor just came over and told me our other neighbors have a leak and all the water will be shut off for 24 hours starting in the morning. Peachy! Better catch up on all baths and wash tonight. Gah. I should be busting my butt on this house anyways, it's a total mess.

well it's a.....

Surprise! Still! phew.. we made it through the ultrasound without finding out. I can't even explain how tempting it was when the tech asked if we wanted to know because she had a good shot. But I did it.. I said no we want to keep this one a surprise! Jesse did ask if she could take a pic so he could "guess" but when she went to get the gender shot.. guess what... baby closed the legs tightly together so daddy couldn't even try to find out! I thought that was great!

Everything looks wonderful. Sooo cute. I'll have to see if I can scan the pics I got and post them up here. The doctor changed my due date from Feb. 22nd to Feb. 18th but I'll keep the 22nd in my head since that's what I've thought all along. We'll see who's right. lol.

My appointment went well. I saw a new doctor and I loved her. She didn't harp on me about my weight gain (or lack thereof). I have gained two pounds so far but I'm still under my prepregnancy weight. She said as long as I'm eating when I'm hungry and stopping when I'm full.. the baby is getting all it needs and it's growing perfectly. That was like a weight lifted off of me. With both of the girls I was starving all the time and gained weight weekly so just now starting to put on weight at 20 weeks was kind of scaring me!

Ariel now knows for sure there is a baby. She says she wants another sister.. lol. Clarity just loves babies period. Thank goodness. I was afraid she'd feel out of place but I think she'll be just fine. She'll be just like Ariel... a mini mommy. I'll ask Clarity "who wants a baby?" and her reply is, "me me me me!"

Jesse's been busy working, working, working. As usual. I guess better too much than not enough so I should just count my blessings! But he really could use a day off. He hasn't had a real day off in over two weeks. He was supposed to have the day of the ultrasound off, but they called him to work right after. We had to go with him. Thank goodness for the tv/dvd player in the truck!

We're in the process of looking for another house to live in. We have to move closer to his job. Right now we're paying around $300 a more a week in gas and that's killing us. So hopefully we'll find something closer soon!

Congrats to Misty on finding out she's having a lil boy!! You take care of yourself and that adorable guy you have in there!!

I hope everyone finds themselves happy and blessed.

eeeek!

Excitement, excitement, excitement! I'm soooo looking forward to so much this month it's crazy. I have my ultrasound next Wednesday. Then I went ahead and bought us some Six Flags tickets (yeah I know we just went, but I wanted to go back for Fright Fest so I purchased tickets without telling Jesse.. so he couldnt say no.. and when I did tell him, I said it was for his birthday which is Halloween). Thankfully he wasn't upset at all. Normally I dont sneak about things like that but this time I just couldn't help myself! We're all excited to go back. I'm guessing we'll go around the 20th. Then we have Halloween. I got the girls costumes in the mail... cute, cute, cute! Ariel was bound and determined to be a dinosaur and I found this really cool looking pterodactyl costume. She's thrilled with it and chases Miss Clarity everywhere. So it's going to be a year round play costume, I can tell. Good! It was more than I ever thought I'd pay for a costume. Clarity is going to be this adorable little pink poodle. I tried it on her and I melted, especially when she walked around doing her "woof woof!"

I love October! Happy Fall everybody!

Half Time

20 weeks today! I can't believe how fast things have started to go now that I've gotten past (for the most part) all the sick junk. It's halfway over.. and part of me is so sad. I don't know for sure if we're done. A part of me says we are, three is plenty and then there's that teeny bit of doubt that makes me want to avoid doing anything permanent (but it's a very teeny doubt..lol). It just makes every milestone more bittersweet that this more than likely, is the last time, I will ever experience it.

I have been thinking about names lately. Well only boy names really and I just can't get past wanting to name him (if it is a him) Ryan. I love, love, love that name. Jesse of course has his heels dug in that he's against it (because of my love for Ryan Reynolds). But honestly even if there weren't a Ryan Reynolds, it will still be my absolute favorite boy name. What's funny is if you ask Ariel if she ever has a baby brother what she would want his name to be... she always says Ryan (well her first choice is triceratops but that is a no go.. so she says Ryan next). And I PROMISE I didnt give her any ideas whatsoever. Maybe she is just meant to have a brother named Ryan! I have no feelings either way about what this baby is going to be. I've been wrong both other times. I just knew Clarity was a boy because deep down I really wanted another daughter. So I just chalked it up that I was dreaming and to get used to the idea that she was a boy. WRONG! I got my two little girls. So I don't have the gift of just knowing what the baby is inside of me. I don't care either way this time around which I guess is why I don't mind keeping it a surprise the whole time! I am so anxious for delivery day though... it will be like the biggest surprise ever!

A big Congrats to Sarah (the girl who is making my pregnancy announcements) as she gave birth to a healthy baby boy in the early AM. Welcome to the world Brennan!

Amazing!!

I know I've been through this whole pregnancy thing twice already but it still amazes me like the first time. I've really started feeling this little one move and sometimes it just takes my breath away what a miracle life is. Only 10 more days until my ultrasound and I spill the news to everyone! I'm so excited!

Things have been kind of difficult lately. I wont go into a bunch of detail just a few.
1. Patrick got hit by a motorcyle in mom's car. The guy was lifeflighted to the hospital. As far as we know he's going to live. If he doesn't Patrick gets charged with manslaughter by vehicle for failure to yield. Patrick swears he didn't see the guy coming. It's sad for everyone. Pray, pray, pray the guy makes it and they dont sue. This is so much stress on mom it's not funny because she could be sued as well because it was her car and Patrick was on her insurance.
2. Clarity fell yesterday and busted the back of her head on the pavement. She was on mom's car and before I could grab her big stuff climbed down on to the bumper, lost her balance and slipped. She's perfectly fine today but man we were worried yesterday! That kid is going to give me a heart attack!
3. Grandpa went to the doctor and there's been no change (so they say) according to the scan. However he's doing better by gaining weight, eating, and not coughing. They are going to do two rounds of all day chemo and then another scan.. so prayers that scan tells us differently and that things are working!

There's more that I wont really get into but we could all just use lots of prayer. I have faith God will take care of all this. I'm leaving it to him.

It's all part of being pregnant!

So help me if I read that one more time, I'm going to strangle somebody! Someone was complaining about morning sickness on a message board I go to and has gotten two replies already that's just like, "Well that's all a part of it". Uh yeah that may be true, but dang it show some sympathy. It's funny these girls didn't suffer it or much of it, you can tell, or they wouldn't offer that little tidbit of info. If you spend days, weeks, or months on end throwing up, feeling that horrible nausea feeling, losing weight... you are not going to lend your support to someone by saying that. It's called empathy.. learn it.. it's a good quality to have if you're a human being. Rant over! I had to unleash it here or I would have over there.. and that wouldn't turn out well!

I had a doctor's appointment on Clarity's second birthday (Happy Birthday Princess). It went okay. Baby's heartbeat was 150 (could it be it really is a boy? The girls' were always up there! hmmm..) I stepped on the scale and my heart sank as it read 110. Nearly 19 weeks and I'm still 6-7 lbs below my prepregnancy weight. But I guess that's all part of being pregnant too! I guess this is the reason I've been able to keep this little secret so long. lol. The doctor was a bit concerened and wrote me a prescription for zofran to help curb the nausea and throwing up. He said he'd like to see me gain weight and know I'm more comfortable. I haven't gotten the courage to fight the walmart crowd and get it filled, but I guess I will this afternoon. Other than that, all was good. He said I'm measuring right on schedule and I look good and we've scheduled my ultrasound for Oct. 10th. That's exciting. I can't wait to see my little baby!

We still haven't celebrated Clarity's birthday. I guess I'm going to have to get something going for that. We'll have to find out when Jesse's next day off is. They've been slammed, which is good! Can't complain about work being good! He's really enjoying the new place he's working for. Prayers that it continues to go well!

Well I'd better clean my house. It's been a couple of days and it's in need. So off to have a fun day.. cleaning! whoopie!

To Jesse, Ariel & Clarity

I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you

I could go on and on forever... I pray with every ounce of my being that you all know how much you mean to me. You are my universe and my reason for being here. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for making my heart and soul complete.