I LOVE

this picture! It was a dark one and until I lightened it up I had no idea just what an amazing picture it actually was. I love her little face looking up at me. Oh it just melts my heart!

Two more of Emmalyn that were so dark I could hardly see them. She was so tiny! *sniff* Why oh why must they grow so fast? what is the hurry?

say what you will

about me having "internet friends" but I am so blessed to have found a group of girls that I talk to everyday and have constant support from. I've always considered them friends and valued them, but after meeting April over the weekend, I realized that there is more of a connection between me & these girls than I thought. There was no nervousness.. no awkwardness.. nothing. April & I went straight to talking and laughing just like we do online. April told me online when she got home that it was weird how when we met it felt like we had been best friends forever. It felt the same way for me too. I tell you what when these girls hurt, I hurt. When they're happy, I feel happy for them. They offer me a world of support and encourage me and lift me up when I'm having a bad day. I thank God for every one of you girls... and you know who you are!

As Clarity says

"we're hooome". lol. We had a nice trip to Gatlinburg. Well....the drive there was insane. I had completely forgotten it was Memorial Day Weekend so I didn't expect what we ran into. We got into Gatlinburg around 3:30... made great time.. it didnt get bad until we actually got into Gatlinburg. We drive around for over a half hour looking for a place to park. We wanted to park at the Ripley's Aquarium but when we got to it the clearance was only like 6'10'' and because of Jesse's ladder racks, there was no way we could fit. So we drive around some more and either we couldnt fit or any place we could... there were no spaces. We decide to drive out of Gatlinburg and I see there's free parking at the visitor center with a trolley that picks you up and takes you to Gatlinburg. Sweet! So we get all the girls out and go wait at the trolley stop under the shade (did I mention it was steaming hot??). It says the trolley comes every half hour...but there was a scrolling banner that said it would be arriving in 5 minutes. Great timing! We wait and a trolley pulls up but it wasn't ours...it was unloading people and going back to Pigeon Forge. Okay. So I see that the trolley we need to be on has arrived... I walk out and this girl tells me that it's full. All the people jumped off the other one and onto the one going to Gatlinburg. I text April..I'm really beginning to worry that her and her husband are either getting angry or just going to give up and leave it's taking us so long (which thankfully they seemed okay with waiting). Well this sends Jesse into full on grumpy ass mode. We didnt want to wait another half hour for a trolley just to not be able to get on.. AGAIN. We are five mins to Gatlinburg and the traffic is so bad we are barely moving. I think it took us nearly 20 mins to get over there again. Jesse is complaining and I see smoke start to come out of his ears. Now one thing I've learned being married to him, this can go two ways. I can 1) get grumpy with him and have us both being mad and miserable or 2) I can let it roll off of me and instead figure out ways to make him laugh. Now most of the time I go with 1... lol. But since I was about to meet someone I've wanted to for a long time & I didnt want our meeting started off on a weird note with my husband & I being upset with eachother... I was smart and chose option 2. Which I should add is the option I'm trying more and more to use just because it's much less stress and irritation that way! So I start giggling at everything... at the traffic... how things have been going... at stupid things I see people walking by doing. I also giggle because I was texting April telling her I was about to kick Jesse in the head and he had no idea. My giggles were contagious.. I look over and see my sweet husband was back. We find a place to park and walk over and meet April, Eric & their four adorable kiddos. We have lunch at Pizza Hut & walk around afterwards a bit. April & I go do something we've both wanted to for a while (surprise.. I'll wait until she gets back to post about it) and then we spend most of the evening talking. Even though I was begging Jesse for us to just get a room and stay the night... he just said it would be insane for us to pay Memorial Day weekend prices for a room when we lived only an hour and a half away. Now I would have LOVED to have spent more time with April but now that we're home.. I'm glad Jesse made us get here. Clarity woke up several times going to the fridge & getting milk to drink. Well her, Emma, & I are laying in the bed (Ariel & Jesse crashed on the loveseat and the recliner. We didnt get home until after midnight). All of a sudden Clarity sits up and throws up milk all over the place. YUCK! Nothing like the smell of partially digested milk throw up! I strip the bed and pour cleaner all over it.. then we go to the couch. A bit later she wakes up and throws up all over the floor. Then she asks for something to drink. I give her water. She goes back to sleep and I wait for the next round. She never did get sick again (knock on wood). But it's 3 pm and all she's had is water, some ice drink Jesse made, and four cups of ice cream. Yeah not the best for her but I'll give her whatever she wants that she will hold down! Hopefully it's over. She didnt eat much for lunch.. but I dont blame her. I guess we'll see what happens later on today & tonight. I really pray it's out of her system because I do not want to deal with puke and watching three kids alone tomorrow when Jesse goes back to work! I'm thinking it was maybe from the heat yesterday. Gatlinburg was a hot, crowded mess... but we all had fun anyways!

Getting Ready

to head out to Gatlinburg and meet up with April this afternoon! yay! So I'm going to go clean out the truck, finish my laundry, and start getting everyone to get a move on things and we'll be back this evening. I'll post pictures!

Lori sent me these!

The two best behaved babies out there! Emmalyn & Brandon!

Have some of this fruit, Ariel!

Mama let go.. I promise I won't run off!

I am such a shorty! My hair was fixed.. I promise!

I ADORE this picture!!

Claire Bear waving down the aisle..lol

Hard at work with Flower Girl Duty! Clarity is ahead somewhere..lol

Daddies in Charge! Aren't the babies cute?!

I just love this peekaboo picture!

Ariel & Uncle Ricky gettin' down :o)

Speechless

is one of my favorite Steven Curtis Chapman songs and the way I'm feeling at this very moment. I love Steven Curtis... his song "Fingerprints of God" is my song for my babies. It is with great heartache that I make this post. Last night Steven Curtis Chapman's five year old daughter, Maria, passed away. Her teenage brother didnt see her in the driveway and accidentally ran her over. I can't imagine the pain that family is going through. Her poor brother... God knows it was an accident but I'm sure he's going through a ton of guilt and anger at himself. Everytime Ariel talks to me or I give her a hug tears start coming to my eyes. I cannot fathom her not being here (or any of my girls for that matter). I know God has a reason for everything but it is so hard for me to grasp why he takes children home. I guess when I get to Heaven, I'll find out the question that I always have to ask when I hear of something like this, "Why???" Tons of prayers going up for Steven Curtis and his family and for anyone in the world that has to deal with the grief of losing a baby (grown or not).

Memory Lane (Ariel)

Say it's not so!

Little miss Emmalyn is 3 months old today! That can't be true. It just can't. Oh but it is! My baby is growing & growing & growing more and more everyday and there's nothing I can do to slow her down. I told Jesse before we know it, she's going to be crawling & scooting all over the floor. We're already watching everything and starting to babyproof again. I need to slow down & take some more pics of the girls. I just realized I havent since the wedding. Darn. I feel like a horrible mother for that! So it's a mission.. take tons of pics asap!

If something ever happens to me

will someone please show my computer illiterate husband how to pull up my blog & read it? He's always saying he doesnt understand my blogging fascination but I tell him he'd be so glad I did it if something ever happened to me and his response... "like I would know how to get on there". lol. I dont plan on going anywhere for a long, long time but if I do someone help the poor boy figure it out.

Well today I finally got everything all ready to send to the IRS. The letter, the copies of the schedule K-1 as well as the copies of all the checks Jesse got, etc. I know.. I should have had this done earlier but I had no idea it was so time consuming. Anyhow it's done and I'll have it mailed off tomorrow. They didnt ask for all of that stuff but I'm volunteering it. I want to show them we did our homework and we werent trying to pull one over on them when we filed our taxes. Now I just need to print up some stuff for the police report. Does the madness end here? why no! Jesse & I opened up a checking account with wachovia since we have one here in town and Macon is in Sylva. Our landlords always want cash so we figured we'd open an account with a bank closeby for cashing checks so we dont have to drive 20 minutes. It's really been a hassle. Anyways I was trying to transfer some money from our macon account to the wachovia one online and to do this it asks security questions to verify your identity. Well it was asking questions about constance schlueter. Hmmm. we didnt know this name so we kept clicking "I do not know this person". Well it locks us out and says it can't verify Jesse's identity (The wachovia account is in his name). The next day we try again..same thing. Then it hits me! Constance Schlueter was Connie's name before she married Ted. So obviously the clowns have used Jesse's social security number somewhere because their background is connected with Jesse's number. So we put a fraud alert on Jesse's credit reports and we are having his reports mailed to us so we can see what's going on. How can someone do that to their son? I will never understand. He tries to move on with his life and they still attack. Unbelievable. It was a horrible thing to say but I told Jesse I hope their minds go out on them and they spend their last days peeing on themselves with no one to take care of them and then go for a walk into their pond. Isn't that horrible of me? I know God wasnt pleased with that thought but I'm human & a sinner & I'm sure he understands that.

Time for some good news! HOPEFULLY we are going to Gatlinburg this weekend. April & her family (she's one of my friends from the message board) are coming in and we want to meet up. As long as it keeps raining on their farmland in Indiana, they'll get to come. We were texting back & forth last night and it was raining there so that's great news! I'm so excited to meet her and her family & going to Gatlinburg isn't too shabby of an idea either! I hope more of the girls follow suit and go vacationing there... I love being so close! lol.

Well I'm doing good.. I only have the office left to organize and clean! woohoo! My workaholic husband did sooooo much this past weekend. He painted my fence for me so now it's all pretty, he ripped up the "flowerbed" (which was nothing more than a dirtbox in the shade that we couldnt keep the girls out of) and planted me some grass seed, he cleaned all the junk the landlords had piled in front of the shed and planted more grass seed there, and he took care of all the mowing and weedeating. He's also been loving grilling for us and I have to say he is awesome at it!! I swear, I'd be lost without him (and he knows it). lol. So now I'll have him help me with the office and we'll be a bit more organized. Slowly but surely.

My hormones

are either trying to go back to normal or kicking up... one or the other cause I had some CRAZY dreams over the weekend. I like to type up the ones I remember that are really vivid.

The first one:
I took Emmalyn to the doctor and for some reason they did a blood test on both of us only to discover she wasnt really ours and she must've been switched with another baby in the nursery. They took her from me & went to figure out where our birth baby was. The thing is.. I didnt care. I was so upset and not because Emmalyn wasn't ours but because they took her from us and I only wanted her. I woke up so upset and it really made me think. I mean I KNOW she's ours, there's no doubt but I was just thinking how I would feel if the dream were true and I think I'd feel the same in reality as I did in the dream. I would want to keep Emmalyn and just leave things alone. Sure I would want to get in touch with the parents that had our birth baby to get pictures, make sure they are living a happy life and all that and eventually meet them and have a bond with them, but I wouldnt want to give Emmalyn back. I told Jesse about this as crazy as it sounds and he said he wouldnt want to give her back either.. he'd want both of them. lol.

Second dream:
My grandma, grandpa, & cousin Brittany were at my place. I'm not sure where Jesse was... he wasn't here. We find out we're under a tornado warning so we head to the hallway. Brittany has Clarity in her lap and I look over and Clarity is all smiles... her big smile that I love sooo much... and she waves at me and says "bye mama!" as we hear the house start to tear apart. Everything starts moving in super slow motion and I'm just praying we all make it out okay. Next thing I know I get up and I dont even recognize where I am. I'm calling for everyone but there's no answer & I am panicked. I realize the stupid tornado carried me God knows where but I'm not in Waynesville. Kind of like wizard of Oz only I was in the middle of nowhere with just a diner nearby. I walk around wondering what to do & how my family and girls are and then I woke up.

Yuck what a cruddy dream huh? Both of them! haha Chelle..I'm even Storm Chaser Frannie Poo in my dreams!!

It is so weird

Just how quickly things change. Emmalyn is almost three months old...staying awake long periods throughout the day (but she is an angel with sleeping through the night!!), giggling, fussing when she doesnt get her way (already! yikes!), and just loving up on us and her sisters and taking the world in.

Clarity is yappin all the time! lol. She really is getting better at talking and it's fun to listen to her but last night at around 11 pm I told her she has to go back to being quiet Clarity at bedtime. Jesse busted out laughing with that one. Just a few weeks ago she would constantly just walk around.. not saying anything.. not even making any noise. Now I hear her little voice constantly. She's blurting out sentences, copying everything we say, and starting to tell us things. She came in from outside crying the other day and I asked her what happened. She tells me, "I fall on my head". lol. She was up on her play boat like I'm always telling her not to be... telling her one of these days she's going to fall and bust her head... well I guess it finally happened. She was fine though.

And Ariel is ALWAYS growing & learning & becoming more and more of a little girl *sniff*. It's hard to look at pictures of her just two years ago. She looked like such a baby! Now she's heading into kindergarten. She's also staying in trouble with talking back. lol. But I know this is just the beginning of that road... even so we love her to pieces.

We love all three of them more than anything & thank God for them every single day.

Insert shrilly scream here!

Can we say excited? I had completely forgotten the New Kids were going to be performing on the Today Show so I didnt set the dvr (what a ditz I am) but I did manage to catch like the last say two to three minutes of it and you bet I recorded that. I got to see a snippet of "Please Dont Go Girl" and "The Right Stuff". They have still got it that's for sure. I'm kind of embarrassed to admit just watching that little bit gave me pure butterflies. And Jordan doing his signature hip thing..whooo.

Ariel has been rewinding what little we have, over & over & over again. She's as bad as me! lol. Her and Clarity are dancing all over the living room & Ariel keeps asking when we're going to see them. God I really do hope they come nearby! I'm sure if they do getting tickets is going to be insane. I read on a friend's blog that the Today Show audience was the biggest it's ever been & that people had camped out for days to see them. Hmmm seems like not much has changed even though it's been about 15 years or so!

So that's my excitement for the day! lol. Takes my mind off of the other crud that's been going on (that's a whole new post in itself.. I'll put up soon). Right now though I'm going to keep on my New Kids high and be happy :o)

I promise

As soon as I have a faster computer (or this one is fixed) I'll edit those pics and crop them and repost so they look better. I know they are kind of dark & far away.

The girls looked cute, didn't they? The pic with Clarity running away.. that was her pretty much the whole time. On the go! Except during the reception. After I changed her out of her dress she cuddled in my lap and fell asleep. Ariel was a little dancing queen. Her and the other kids really got into that dance floor. I wish I would have had the camera (Ariel had it most of the night taking a million pics of the floor and stuff lol) because her and Uncle Ricky were really getting down and I thought that was so funny.

Lori looked absolutely gorgeous. I swear she should be put in a bridal magazine. She was so calm during the ceremony. I thought for sure she was going to be one of those that cry the whole time.. but she didn't. Everyone did really well keeping calm. I was afraid for myself when we were getting our hair done and I saw Lori in her vail... my eyes started tearing up then & there so I didnt know how I was going to be react during the wedding. But I had my little Claire Bear to keep track of and that probably saved me from being a crybaby!

The setting was gorgeous... the weather cooperated and it didnt start to rain until the photographer said she had taken the "last shot" (talk about timing) and even then it didnt rain hard. As stressed as we all were the day of the wedding it really did turn out wonderful.

The Wedding

My computer

Is trying so hard to completely give up on me. It's had a hard life. lol. So anyways that's why it's been so long since my last update. I still keep getting it to try and hang on. Today is the first time I've tried turning it on since our power kept going out when we had severe storms the other night... I was terrified I'd find it wasn't going to work at all.. but alas I am here. Good computer! But we have to look into either getting another one or getting this one looked at. yuck. I mean I love computers... it's just the thought of having to spend money we dont have to spend.

As for Lori & David's wedding.. it was really beautiful. I'll "try" and post pics of it in my next post but we'll see if my computer cooperates. The girls did pretty good. Clarity was a handful! Instead of tossing her petals she waved all the way down the aisle then got to the end and realized she didnt toss any so she stood there and dropped some at her feet. lol. There was a boardwalk behind where the wedding party stood so she kept trying to run down it. I saw Lori's mom run after her once. I felt so bad.. the mother of the bride running after my child.. lol. Then my grandma went after her a second time. I tried holding her at one point and she started to say "noooo" and I didnt want a meltdown while vows were being said so I set her down. I kept her from going down the boardwalk by telling her there was probably a ghost down there (BAD MAMA!) and she occupied herself by standing behind me smashing ants. lol. So my girls didnt cause any major disasters.. Thank God. Ariel did really well. They were both so cute. Emmalyn slept in her daddy's arms the whole ceremony so no crying! Woohoo! A major change from the rehearsal where she screamed the entire time. That was my fault though.. I lost her binky. Will never do that again!

Lori and her dad danced to "My Little Girl" by Tim McGraw. I knew as soon as she told me that was the song she picked that I was going to cry. As soon as I heard it starting.. the tears came. My mind flash forward to the girls and them getting married and *gasp* leaving. Of course right now Ariel says she's never getting married because she wants to live with us forever. If I could only keep her mindset that way!

My parents came in to see the girls Monday and left yesterday afternoon. It was good to see them. My dad had a mustache which is something I havent seen on him in forever... and Ariel told me "Abu didn't shave!". lol. I like it on him though. I think it looks good. Mom took the girls out for a walk and of course they got goodies. They love when mom & dad come to visit. So do I of course.

The girls have been spending a ton of time outside since it's warming up. Jesse & I filled up their sandbox and that's a huge hit. I think they would live in it if they could. When it starts getting pretty hot, their pool will come out. They'll have their own mini beach. lol. We'll have to see if we can keep them from getting sand in the pool though. I can imagine I might have trouble with that one!

I did want to brag on Clarity a bit. After over 2 1/2 years the girl is finally learning to open her mouth and talk! Yesterday she was out in her play boat and Emiley's bus went by. I heard her say "Bye emiley! Good to see you again!". of course it wasnt as plain as that but I understood her perfectly and my mouth dropped open! She's starting to say more words (a new one she's really good at is Emmalyn) and putting sentences together. It's becoming a huge relief and I'm just so proud of her right now! It's been a long wait but so worth it. I just light up when I hear something new come out of her mouth!

Well I should get going.. I need to go cook lunch and I have a long to do list for the day. I'll try to get those pictures from that wedding up in a bit. Congratulations Lori & David.. hope you all had a great cruise (I'm so jealous!). lol.

Today is the day

we are leaving for Columbia, South carolina for Lori's wedding. Jesse was going to work a half day but there's so much to do around here to get ready and he's still sick (he didnt work yesterday.. I guess it was a bad cold and not allergies I had last week because he caught it) so we just decided he could stay home and help me clean the house and get ready to leave. When we come back, I just want to be able to relax, unpack, and enjoy the rest of Sunday. I dont want to have to clean and then get up early Monday morning to babysit. I need some unwinding time before I take those girls again. lol.

I'm excited and hope the weather stays nice and things go smoothly. I'm upset a bit because my face has started to break out! After being clear since getting pregnant with Emmalyn for the most part.. it picks this week to act up! gah! I bought some cream so hopefully I'll look better by Saturday evening. God I pray so. I can't wait to see how the girls do as flower girls... hopefully that will go smoothly too! I know Ariel will do great.. she's been practicing. Clarity... I'm not so sure! I guess we'll get a sneak peak at rehearsal tonight. Wow that feels weird saying that. I guess it's hard to believe the day has finally come!

I'll be sure to post lots of pics of the wedding and the girls when I get home. For now I better go clean up and make my list of things to pack. I'm so scared I'm gong to forget something... especially something important like the digital camera or God forbid a dress or pair of shoes! lol. That's why I'm going to make a list and check it off as it goes in the truck. Pray for us to have a safe trip there & back and for this to be a beautiful wedding (no rain! it's outside!) with no problems :o)

My Sunshines!

Kindergarten Here we come!

Oh my goodness was Ariel precious today! She let me fix her hair (shock) and looked so grown up as we went in for the registration meeting. They gave all the kindergarteners little name tags and took them to the classrooms and out to the playground while the parents sat in the gym for the meeting. They were even generous enough to take Clarity. lol. She was the only toddler that was wanting to go with their big sister. The meeting went fine.. I am feeling even more confident that this school is going to be awesome. I'm loving it more now than I have before. I heard it was a great school and it's gotten nothing but compliments from the people I've talked to.. now I understand why. It's a gorgeous school with caring teachers and I'm much more at ease with my baby leaving to go.

It didnt really hit me until they brought all the kids back in. Seeing my big girl in line with her soon to be classmates.. wow. I nearly cried. lol. Not sad tears.. but I was just so dang proud. And the doctor was right.. Ariel is on the tall side. I think she was the second or third tallest kid there. So now we just wait until the screening where we turn in all of our forms (that happens sometime in August.. I think the 12th or something like that). Then they will assign her a teacher. Get this.. the teacher comes to your house to have one on one time with the kids and parents before school starts! They said this is so they can make them feel more comfortable in their own space and when they go to school they'll already have a comfort level with their teacher. I think it's wonderful. They said the visits are only like 20 minutes.. just long enough to read to them, have them draw something that they will have hanging in the classroom the first day, and for any questions to be answered. I've never heard of a school doing this but I'm thrilled they do.

So anyways I'm very pleased with my decision to send her. I was so dead set on homeschooling and fought the arguments that they need social interaction but when I started babysitting, I realized just how important it is for them to get that especially at a young age. We will more than likely homeschool for middle school but we'll cross that bridge when we get there. For now I know that Ariel will be getting so much more than I could ever offer her at home and I know she'll have a ton of fun!

This song brings me to tears thinking of Jesse and his little girls

Music Video:MY LITTLE GIRL (by Tim McGraw)

Music Video Code provided by VideoCodeZone.Com

Gotta hold on easy as I let you go

Gonna tell you how much I love you, though you think you already know

I remember I thought you looked like an angel wrapped in pink so soft & warm

You've had me wrapped around your finger since the day you were born

You're beautiful baby from the outside in

Chase your dreams but always know the road that'll lead you home again

Go on take on this whole world

But to me you know you'll always be... my little girl

When you were in trouble that crooked little smile could melt my heart of stone

Now look at you, I've turned around and you've almost grown

Sometimes you're asleep I whisper "I love you" in the moonlight at your door

As I walk away I hear you say "Daddy love you more!"

You're beautiful baby from the outside in

Chase your dreams but always know the road that'll lead you home again

Go on take on this whole world

But to me you know you'll always be... my little girl

Someday some boy will come and ask me for your hand

But I wont say yes to him unless I know

He's the half that makes you whole, he has a poets soul. and the heart of a man's man

I know he'll say that he's in love

But between you and me.. he wont be good enough

You're beautiful baby from the outside in

Chase your dreams but always know the road that'll lead you home again

Go on take on this whole world

But to me you know you'll always be... my little girl

BOO HOO!

After Emmalyn was born.. Jesse & I were thinking maybe in 5 years when the truck was paid off and our debt paid down... we may try for our boy. Well we've officially decided we're done. No more babies. We have been beyond blessed with three beautiful little girls and our family is now whole. I'm a bit sad.. it's hard to know that Emmalyn is it. Our last tiny one in the house and as she grows I'm sure it's going to be even harder thinking about this is the last first giggle... this is the last first tooth... the last first steps.. you know. But I can't look at it like that. There is so much more to their lives than the babyhood. Jesse and I look at it that there is so much we want to do in life that you just can't do when you have a baby. We want to take the girls on road trips, to different amusement parks, even to Hawaii. Yeah you can do all of those with a baby.. but everyone cant to things together... someone always has to hang back to keep the little one. So I guess our decision is somewhat selfish but I want the girls to have a fun filled childhood & as much time with mommy and daddy as possible. As much fun as babies are and as amazing as it is to have one around... the Moore family is a family of five. As I said on a message board I go to... I'm sad I'll never see what our little boy might have been...BUT there's also a chance he could end up looking like Jesse's ex dad or something and that would so not be a good thing since he's the most unattractive man on Earth *giggle*