I promise

As soon as I have a faster computer (or this one is fixed) I'll edit those pics and crop them and repost so they look better. I know they are kind of dark & far away.

The girls looked cute, didn't they? The pic with Clarity running away.. that was her pretty much the whole time. On the go! Except during the reception. After I changed her out of her dress she cuddled in my lap and fell asleep. Ariel was a little dancing queen. Her and the other kids really got into that dance floor. I wish I would have had the camera (Ariel had it most of the night taking a million pics of the floor and stuff lol) because her and Uncle Ricky were really getting down and I thought that was so funny.

Lori looked absolutely gorgeous. I swear she should be put in a bridal magazine. She was so calm during the ceremony. I thought for sure she was going to be one of those that cry the whole time.. but she didn't. Everyone did really well keeping calm. I was afraid for myself when we were getting our hair done and I saw Lori in her vail... my eyes started tearing up then & there so I didnt know how I was going to be react during the wedding. But I had my little Claire Bear to keep track of and that probably saved me from being a crybaby!

The setting was gorgeous... the weather cooperated and it didnt start to rain until the photographer said she had taken the "last shot" (talk about timing) and even then it didnt rain hard. As stressed as we all were the day of the wedding it really did turn out wonderful.

The Wedding

My computer

Is trying so hard to completely give up on me. It's had a hard life. lol. So anyways that's why it's been so long since my last update. I still keep getting it to try and hang on. Today is the first time I've tried turning it on since our power kept going out when we had severe storms the other night... I was terrified I'd find it wasn't going to work at all.. but alas I am here. Good computer! But we have to look into either getting another one or getting this one looked at. yuck. I mean I love computers... it's just the thought of having to spend money we dont have to spend.

As for Lori & David's wedding.. it was really beautiful. I'll "try" and post pics of it in my next post but we'll see if my computer cooperates. The girls did pretty good. Clarity was a handful! Instead of tossing her petals she waved all the way down the aisle then got to the end and realized she didnt toss any so she stood there and dropped some at her feet. lol. There was a boardwalk behind where the wedding party stood so she kept trying to run down it. I saw Lori's mom run after her once. I felt so bad.. the mother of the bride running after my child.. lol. Then my grandma went after her a second time. I tried holding her at one point and she started to say "noooo" and I didnt want a meltdown while vows were being said so I set her down. I kept her from going down the boardwalk by telling her there was probably a ghost down there (BAD MAMA!) and she occupied herself by standing behind me smashing ants. lol. So my girls didnt cause any major disasters.. Thank God. Ariel did really well. They were both so cute. Emmalyn slept in her daddy's arms the whole ceremony so no crying! Woohoo! A major change from the rehearsal where she screamed the entire time. That was my fault though.. I lost her binky. Will never do that again!

Lori and her dad danced to "My Little Girl" by Tim McGraw. I knew as soon as she told me that was the song she picked that I was going to cry. As soon as I heard it starting.. the tears came. My mind flash forward to the girls and them getting married and *gasp* leaving. Of course right now Ariel says she's never getting married because she wants to live with us forever. If I could only keep her mindset that way!

My parents came in to see the girls Monday and left yesterday afternoon. It was good to see them. My dad had a mustache which is something I havent seen on him in forever... and Ariel told me "Abu didn't shave!". lol. I like it on him though. I think it looks good. Mom took the girls out for a walk and of course they got goodies. They love when mom & dad come to visit. So do I of course.

The girls have been spending a ton of time outside since it's warming up. Jesse & I filled up their sandbox and that's a huge hit. I think they would live in it if they could. When it starts getting pretty hot, their pool will come out. They'll have their own mini beach. lol. We'll have to see if we can keep them from getting sand in the pool though. I can imagine I might have trouble with that one!

I did want to brag on Clarity a bit. After over 2 1/2 years the girl is finally learning to open her mouth and talk! Yesterday she was out in her play boat and Emiley's bus went by. I heard her say "Bye emiley! Good to see you again!". of course it wasnt as plain as that but I understood her perfectly and my mouth dropped open! She's starting to say more words (a new one she's really good at is Emmalyn) and putting sentences together. It's becoming a huge relief and I'm just so proud of her right now! It's been a long wait but so worth it. I just light up when I hear something new come out of her mouth!

Well I should get going.. I need to go cook lunch and I have a long to do list for the day. I'll try to get those pictures from that wedding up in a bit. Congratulations Lori & David.. hope you all had a great cruise (I'm so jealous!). lol.

Today is the day

we are leaving for Columbia, South carolina for Lori's wedding. Jesse was going to work a half day but there's so much to do around here to get ready and he's still sick (he didnt work yesterday.. I guess it was a bad cold and not allergies I had last week because he caught it) so we just decided he could stay home and help me clean the house and get ready to leave. When we come back, I just want to be able to relax, unpack, and enjoy the rest of Sunday. I dont want to have to clean and then get up early Monday morning to babysit. I need some unwinding time before I take those girls again. lol.

I'm excited and hope the weather stays nice and things go smoothly. I'm upset a bit because my face has started to break out! After being clear since getting pregnant with Emmalyn for the most part.. it picks this week to act up! gah! I bought some cream so hopefully I'll look better by Saturday evening. God I pray so. I can't wait to see how the girls do as flower girls... hopefully that will go smoothly too! I know Ariel will do great.. she's been practicing. Clarity... I'm not so sure! I guess we'll get a sneak peak at rehearsal tonight. Wow that feels weird saying that. I guess it's hard to believe the day has finally come!

I'll be sure to post lots of pics of the wedding and the girls when I get home. For now I better go clean up and make my list of things to pack. I'm so scared I'm gong to forget something... especially something important like the digital camera or God forbid a dress or pair of shoes! lol. That's why I'm going to make a list and check it off as it goes in the truck. Pray for us to have a safe trip there & back and for this to be a beautiful wedding (no rain! it's outside!) with no problems :o)

My Sunshines!

Kindergarten Here we come!

Oh my goodness was Ariel precious today! She let me fix her hair (shock) and looked so grown up as we went in for the registration meeting. They gave all the kindergarteners little name tags and took them to the classrooms and out to the playground while the parents sat in the gym for the meeting. They were even generous enough to take Clarity. lol. She was the only toddler that was wanting to go with their big sister. The meeting went fine.. I am feeling even more confident that this school is going to be awesome. I'm loving it more now than I have before. I heard it was a great school and it's gotten nothing but compliments from the people I've talked to.. now I understand why. It's a gorgeous school with caring teachers and I'm much more at ease with my baby leaving to go.

It didnt really hit me until they brought all the kids back in. Seeing my big girl in line with her soon to be classmates.. wow. I nearly cried. lol. Not sad tears.. but I was just so dang proud. And the doctor was right.. Ariel is on the tall side. I think she was the second or third tallest kid there. So now we just wait until the screening where we turn in all of our forms (that happens sometime in August.. I think the 12th or something like that). Then they will assign her a teacher. Get this.. the teacher comes to your house to have one on one time with the kids and parents before school starts! They said this is so they can make them feel more comfortable in their own space and when they go to school they'll already have a comfort level with their teacher. I think it's wonderful. They said the visits are only like 20 minutes.. just long enough to read to them, have them draw something that they will have hanging in the classroom the first day, and for any questions to be answered. I've never heard of a school doing this but I'm thrilled they do.

So anyways I'm very pleased with my decision to send her. I was so dead set on homeschooling and fought the arguments that they need social interaction but when I started babysitting, I realized just how important it is for them to get that especially at a young age. We will more than likely homeschool for middle school but we'll cross that bridge when we get there. For now I know that Ariel will be getting so much more than I could ever offer her at home and I know she'll have a ton of fun!

This song brings me to tears thinking of Jesse and his little girls

Music Video:MY LITTLE GIRL (by Tim McGraw)

Music Video Code provided by VideoCodeZone.Com

Gotta hold on easy as I let you go

Gonna tell you how much I love you, though you think you already know

I remember I thought you looked like an angel wrapped in pink so soft & warm

You've had me wrapped around your finger since the day you were born

You're beautiful baby from the outside in

Chase your dreams but always know the road that'll lead you home again

Go on take on this whole world

But to me you know you'll always be... my little girl

When you were in trouble that crooked little smile could melt my heart of stone

Now look at you, I've turned around and you've almost grown

Sometimes you're asleep I whisper "I love you" in the moonlight at your door

As I walk away I hear you say "Daddy love you more!"

You're beautiful baby from the outside in

Chase your dreams but always know the road that'll lead you home again

Go on take on this whole world

But to me you know you'll always be... my little girl

Someday some boy will come and ask me for your hand

But I wont say yes to him unless I know

He's the half that makes you whole, he has a poets soul. and the heart of a man's man

I know he'll say that he's in love

But between you and me.. he wont be good enough

You're beautiful baby from the outside in

Chase your dreams but always know the road that'll lead you home again

Go on take on this whole world

But to me you know you'll always be... my little girl

BOO HOO!

After Emmalyn was born.. Jesse & I were thinking maybe in 5 years when the truck was paid off and our debt paid down... we may try for our boy. Well we've officially decided we're done. No more babies. We have been beyond blessed with three beautiful little girls and our family is now whole. I'm a bit sad.. it's hard to know that Emmalyn is it. Our last tiny one in the house and as she grows I'm sure it's going to be even harder thinking about this is the last first giggle... this is the last first tooth... the last first steps.. you know. But I can't look at it like that. There is so much more to their lives than the babyhood. Jesse and I look at it that there is so much we want to do in life that you just can't do when you have a baby. We want to take the girls on road trips, to different amusement parks, even to Hawaii. Yeah you can do all of those with a baby.. but everyone cant to things together... someone always has to hang back to keep the little one. So I guess our decision is somewhat selfish but I want the girls to have a fun filled childhood & as much time with mommy and daddy as possible. As much fun as babies are and as amazing as it is to have one around... the Moore family is a family of five. As I said on a message board I go to... I'm sad I'll never see what our little boy might have been...BUT there's also a chance he could end up looking like Jesse's ex dad or something and that would so not be a good thing since he's the most unattractive man on Earth *giggle*

I'm not sure

If it's allergies or I have a cold, but I have felt pretty crummy all weekend starting on Friday. Stuffy/runny nose, head & neck aches, eyes feeling like they are just going to pop out of my head. Yuck! Ariel actually said she had a headache Friday night too and then started running a fever in the middle of the night but she was fine by yesterday morning (Thank God). Emmalyn and Clarity have been having runny noses.. but other than that are okay. So I'm just not sure if we picked up a bug or if something is blooming that all of our bodies just dont like. I do know there is pollen EVERYWHERE. The truck needs to be washed.. it has a yellow tint to it.

Yesterday we went to Asheville to do some shopping and get groceries. Jesse got an early birthday present. We ended up buying a Garmin Street Pilot GPS for the truck. The other day he got turned around in Asheville after trying to get home from a customer's house and ended up making a 15 mile detour or something like that. He convinced me that with gas prices shooting up by the day it might not be a bad thing to have. Plus he wanted it for our trip to Columbia this coming weekend. Boys and their toys, I swear! I was not thrilled with the cost.. but it's my fault we had to get one of the pricier ones. I told him I wanted him to have on that spoke so he wasnt having to constantly glance over at it...I didnt want him getting something that might cause an accident. The cheapest one that did that was $299. ouch. And that was on sale.. we shopped around and it was like $479 everywhere else. Circuit City was having a sale so we grabbed it. I was a bit upset over spending that for a while but once he pulled it out and I started messing with it.. it's worth it. There's his birthday present. I have been planning on getting him a Garmin for his birthday or Christmas... well he just got it early this year.

We also got some aluminum paint for the fence. This fence here is rusty and looks awful. I asked Jesse if there was a way to fix it and we found some paint made for fences at walmart. so we're going to do that sometime this week. We're trying to get the yard all set for trying to get more kids for me to watch during the summer. But it's not just for that.. the fence was just starting to look too ghetto for me! lol.

Other than the shopping and cleaning today.. we're just trying to get ready for this busy week ahead of us. Seems there's always so much to do and so little time! We did take the girls to the park Friday afternoon but there were games and ball practices everywhere which meant teenagers running around the park like monkeys so we only stayed like five minutes. Hopefully we can take them again soon when it's not so chaotic!

New pics of the girlies

A praise Report

God is awesome! A few weeks ago Jesse got a surprise check in the mail from the satellite place he was last working for (they took our reserve funds in case an employee had a chargeback or missing equipment.. whatever). Honestly it had been so long we didnt think much of it or even that we would see any of it again. I guess we had kind of forgotten about it. Anyways the check was for $144. I was thrilled.. I know that's not a lot but it sure helps! Well there's a letter with that check that said he was supposed to get $297 and another check month for $500 (Hallelujah). So he calls to find out why he only got $144 and they said there was missing equipment he didn't turn in. He knew he turned in everything but since it's all scanned in by computer.. he couldnt argue. What could we do right? Well he called me this morning & tells me he got a call from Rocking R and that they were clearing the missing equipment thing off and he was getting his full reserve back! YAY! We dont know if they found what was "missing" or what.. but we are so happy. So he's going to get another $653 from them in may. Praise God! Jesse has been laid off this past monday and then next week he has to take off half a day to take Ariel to kindergarten registration and another half day to head to South Carolina.. so this money will be greatly needed. I was just praying this morning for God to help us somehow. I wasn't sure how it was going to happen or how I was going to finish paying the bills since I used bill money to tithe... but God was faithful and he has provided! I'm so amazed by how he moves sometimes!

Funny stuff!

I love youtube. It has some of the funniest stuff on it. This one totally had me cracking up!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fpn_B5cG-10

and even more greatness....these guys are HILARIOUS!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HLnVl2wWpho

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=58-daO6DlVU

Hope you enjoy and laugh as much as I have today! :oD

Life

Is just moving at a record pace for me right now. I'm not sure what it is.. but I have a feeling it's not going to slow down! We didnt get as much accomplished today as I had hoped. We went to Asheville and picked up my bridesmaids dress and then came back to Waynesville and found the park and let the girls play. Can I just say we are so lucky to live here?! I can't believe we've never found this park before.. but it's amazing. They have little "buildings" the kids can play in and it looks like downtown. It's hard to explain but it's just so cute. I'll have to take my camera next time and get plenty of pics! An ice cream truck actually came while we were there and Ariel was mesmerized. lol. We told her we'd get her a box of ice cream from the store...but I guess that's not as fun as getting it from a van that's playing music. She went right back to playing after looking at it for a few minutes. Next thing I know she has an ice cream. I asked Jesse where she got it from and some boy had gotten it for her. awww. lol. He was older and either Indian or mexican and had several brothers & sisters.. all with ice creams. I guess he saw Ariel playing with his little brother and got her one when he got his family one. We gave Ariel a dollar to go give him and she told him thank you for her ice cream. I'm sure the ice cream didn't cost a dollar.. or maybe it did.. but Jesse & I felt he should be rewarded for such a nice gesture.

Well Lori's wedding is less than two weeks away. Eek! Dress... check. Shoes... check. I'm glad I've gotten those and now feel less stressed about that. I still have to get the girls' shoes and get my nails done. I also found a hotel.. I just have to reserve it. Speaking of.. I better do that tonight. We plan on taking the girls to the zoo while we're there since they've never been & they are looking forward to it. So am I. I love seeing new places!

Registration for kindergarten is May 1st at 1 pm. I can't believe how fast this is sneaking up on me. Jesse has to take off work early that day so we can go see the school, pick up her kindergarten packet, and meet her teachers. I'm so nervous and excited. I just hope & pray she loves school, makes lots of friends, and learns a lot. She's such a social butterfly. So different from myself. I think she'll have a blast. We drove by the middle school today & it seems everytime we do, there are some punk looking kids walking around. I told Jesse she was so not going there. She pipes up, "I'm not going to school?! But I want to go to school! I wont miss you!". So I guess the notion of school has grown on her a bit. lol. This is so crazy.. how can she be starting school? She was just this tiny baby...and soon I'll be saying the same thing about Clarity & Emmalyn. Life just doesn't slow down once you have little ones I swear!

Well I did it... I tithed today. I went to this Charity website that rates charities by how much money actually goes to the cause versus advertisements and such and found this Christian sponsorship program like Feed the Children that got rated an A+. I sponsored a child for $30 a month. Since I still had to give $100 to meet the 10% of pay.. I just donated $100. I think we may sponsor another child or two next month. I told Jesse this will be a great lesson for Ariel. They give you options of if you want a boy or girl and let you choose the country.. but I just chose the child most in need option. We'll be getting a picture and information on the family & country and an address to write or send gifts. I think it will be great for Ariel to see how blessed we are and teach her that it's good to want to give and help others. Even though we are struggling so much and that money could have paid bills... it blessed me to do it.

Well I'm absolutely exhausted and should go do my dishes, clean up a bit, get some laundry done and then I'm going to be out! I didnt babysit today so naturally today is the day Emmalyn decided to wake me up before the sun came up. She wasn't hungry.. wasn't crying.. didn't want binky...she was just wiggling everywhere and making noises. She did this for hours even though I wouldnt play with her like she wanted and was hoping she'd fall back to sleep. She never did.. at 8:30 I gave up and my grumpy butt got out of bed. lol. She's so precious & I felt bad that I felt upset with her. I was just so tired and looking forward to getting to sleep in! Oh well. And even though I told Jesse I was going to keep her up when she tried to sleep... I dont have the heart to do it. Here she is snoozing away in my lap. I'm going to go join my other little princesses on the couch. I hear them giggling away at Spongebob. God I love these girls!

Been a long week!

Well it's finally over! I have had Emiley everyday since last Monday. Alley was at her dad's Wednesday, Thursday (I watched her just a bit Friday) and then I had both girls all weekend. I tell you what.. watching 4 or 5 kids seven days straight can wear you out! But I've had help this week so it wasn't like I was on my own. My mother-in-law came out Wednesday and stayed until Friday afternoon. I thought the girls would drive her insane, but she actually was fine with them and helped me out. Then I had Jesse help me yesterday and today. So I've been able to manage without pulling my hair out. lol. Yesterday and today when the girls came in, I turned out all of the lights and turned off the tv and they both laid down on the couches and went to bed and slept in until after 9 both days! So Jesse & the girls still got to sleep in.. and I even got some extra sleep myself! sweet!

Beth's visit went great. I was nervous at first.. wondering if she would stress out and have a seizure.. but completely the opposite. She seemed to enjoy every minute of being here and seeing the girls. She told me she loved it here and how the whole time she was here she didnt have to take one of her stress pills like she does at home. We met Jerry in Sylva so he could take her home and she burst into tears telling the girls goodbye which not long after she left, Ariel burst into tears saying she was going to really miss her nanny because she doesnt get to see her much. Jesse & I havent called her to see how things have been going since she's gotten back.. but I'll have Jesse to that today. We need to check in on her more often. I'm very blessed to have a mother in law I dont fight with or dread seeing. She & I actually really enjoy each other's company.

I got my taxes done on the 14th.. I knew I'd push it to the limit. I did them after going on over 30 hours of no sleep (thank God for the alerts Tax Act makes you go through for errors). I didn't have any but I was feeling pretty loopy so I'm glad they check over your stuff for you before they send it in. I still have to write the IRS a fraud letter and mail the evidence. My plan is to get that done today or tonight and mail it tomorrow. We also need to call the Clay County Sheriff and see what we can do there. As much as Jesse's dragging his feet about having to drive out to Hayesville.. I'm so ready to do something if it can be done!

Oh another thing I got done this week.. and you wont believe it! The girls room is finished! Every box is unpacked or put away and that room is completely cleared out! Can you believe it?! lol. Beth actually had a room to stay in as will my mom & dad when they come if they please! woohoo! I'm so proud! Now all I have to do is clear out this office and my house will be a clean and in order home. And we were thinking of packing up and moving the other day? lmao. I think not!

Jesse has tomorrow off so I think he is going to explore getting a part time job on top of the one he has. Maybe working a Saturday or a couple of hours after work during the week. I dont know. We're just trying to come up with ways to catch up. The economy isn't making catching up any easier with the gas prices and everything else going up. Gas here is nearly $3.60. Unbelievable. I need to get another child or two to watch when I dont have the other girls. Things are tight but I'm still planning on tithing... I just have to keep trusting God!

Other than this week being non stop and hectic things are good. The girls are wonderful.. I'm so lucky to be their mama! Emmalyn is now two months old *gasp*. Say it isn't so! I need to take some more pics and get them up here. Seems Emmalyn changes daily. She's getting so big.. smiling so much.. and just beginning to have some major personality! She actually let out a first attempt to giggle the other day. It was loud sounding breaths with her big smile.. it was precious! Goodness why do they have to grow so fast?!

Johnson city is a no

So Jesse calls and tells me his work gave him a job offer to work in a showroom they are opening up in Johnson City, Tennessee. He told his boss we would have to discuss it, but we only had a couple of days to figure out if we were going or not. The pay is somewhat better but all in all we decided against it. For one.. I love my house.. I love my yard.. I love the area we're in and Ariel's school will be just down the road. That was the biggie.. I feel okay with sending Ariel to this school. There was no way I could deal with moving to a new city and trying to figure out how their elementary school was. Plus we decided it was just too much trouble to move.. too much money... it just wasnt worth it to us. So our butts are parked in waynesville & I intend on it staying that way for a while.

I'll post more later.. my mother in law is here and I dont want to be rude. The visit is going great..she's gotten a taste of how annoying Emiley can be today ;o) lol. But that's the lastest news for now. More to come soon!

I have become

one of those women whose husbands drag them on a daytime tv show begging the host to give their wives a makeover. lol. Most days you can find me in an old tshirt (or worse.. one of Jesse's baggy ones), jammy pants, and bedroom slippers. My hair thrown up in a scrunci.. not even brushed most times... and make up? hardly. maybe a bit.. just some powder and lip gloss.. but that's usually saved for when we go out. It's not that I dont care about how I look... I do... I just dont have time to put effort into it like I used to. Not with three kids (or four or five if I'm babysitting). So now that I've typed this up and realized how pathetic I sound and what a lucky man Jesse must be to have this trophy of a wife.. I think I'll try to make more of an effort. The more I think about it, the I dont have time thing is just an excuse. I could find the time.. it would just mean dragging my rear out of bed earlier. So I may brush & fix my hair and put on make up more often but I guarantee you wont get me out of the old tshirts and jammy pants. The honest truth there is I spend my days cleaning up messes and being the target of projectile milk flying out of my baby girl's mouth. Would I trade it for something more glamourous? Not on your life!

Very Nice Surprise!

My parents came up Thursday and spent the night and stayed until last night. I wasn't expecting it so it was a very nice surprise. I miss them. The girls were thrilled too. Of course they got spoiled rotten. They really miss getting to see their grandma & Abu every week. It was so nice having them here. Mom ordered us pizza Thursday night and then made dinner Friday night so I guess I got spoiled too :o) Thanks for everything mom!

Well the weekend is here and it's not going to be very eventful. I'm hoping Jesse & I will have the motivation to clear out the spare bedroom and clean the office since it will be cold and dreary all weekend. No warm sunshine to lure us outside. I also have to get the taxes done. I'm really pushing it down to the wire this year. lol. All I have to do is add up miles and expenses. I know it wont take me too long. Maybe an hour or two at the most. Then there's the weekly grocery shopping trip. Boy our weekend is just going to be one big adventure! oh well no matter how little excitement there is.. we're always glad for the weekend. It's just nice to have Jesse home to help out with the girls and give me a break! I guess we'll also make some flyers for babysitting and try to get some more kids for me to watch. Prayerfully with summer coming, it wont be too hard.

Well I guess I better go and get started on this house.. or maybe watch tv! lol. All three of the girls and Jesse are still asleep so this has been "me" time. Peace & Quiet! I should just relax and enjoy it. I can clean the house when they get up.

wow

If the dates weren't on the pics... I'm not sure I could tell you who was who. lol. Ariel is in the first pic.. unfortunately I dont have any of her first smiles on the computer, that was the best one I have. Clarity is in pic 2 and Emmalyn in pic 3. They all resemble eachother so much. I was reading a friend's blog and she wrote about how much her newborn son and daughter look alike and that made me want to compare the girls' pictures. I knew they looked alike, but holy cow. Especially Clarity & Emmalyn. As Clarity was a baby and going into toddlerhood, I thought about how much she resembled Ariel. Now I'm thinking the same thing with Emmalyn & Clarity. There is no way you could deny the three of them are sisters.

Test of Faith

The title of my post is what my life feels like. One big test to trust in God and know that everything will turn out okay like it's supposed to.

We got the statements from the business bank account yesterday for the months Jesse was a partner. He was there longer than we thought..he was taken off as a signer on May 15th. Which was the day we found out the doors were locked and the junk hit the fan. Thank God they gave us copies of every check written. I was able to see all the checks written to Jesse. I figured he made about 4,500 or so from our bank statements but he really made 7,600 (I had forgotten we had to pay around $2,000 to get the subaru fixed and out of the shop. A lot of interesting things in those statements...checks written to a pain management doctor, debits for gemstones off of tv, a check to kerr drug for office supplies (office supplies my butt.. it was for that addict's painkillers), a $400 debit at a pharmacy (hmm was that for office supplies too?) and a ton of ATM debits for cash. This is going to be a huge mess with the IRS. Since Jesse was considered a 50/50 partner I'm worried the IRS will hold him accountable for the stuff that was going on as well. I'm praying not. We're trying to do the right thing..we're filing our taxes for every penny that was paid to Jesse. It just turns my stomach. Continued prayers for this situation are so appreciated!

Jesse told me yesterday he hopes our girls always trust him and will come to him for anything because he wants to be everything his dad isn't. He already is. He's a great dad to our girls and they adore him. Even Emmalyn is already daddy's little girl. Yesterday she wouldnt stop crying.. no matter what I did.. Jesse was out working in the yard. Well he came in and picked her up and she stopped crying instantly. He sat on the couch and she snuggled up to him and went to sleep. It was sooo cute but I must admit, I was a bit jealous. I'm the mama and I wasn't who she wanted! lol. I know that made Jesse feel amazing. These girls are his everything.

The other night Emmalyn wouldnt fall asleep (I had her in bed with me) and she was keeping me up..not by crying but just wiggling and making baby sounds. So I scooped her up, laid on the couch with her, & turned on the tv. It was on a christian channel and on there was a show about tithing. I usually turn on Malcom in the Middle or Ghost Hunters or something but I couldnt stop watching. I told Jesse yesterday about this and how I feel convicted to tithe even though we are barely making it. This is the main reason for my title "Test of Faith". I think we are struggling so bad because we don't tithe. God doesnt want you to tithe because he wants or needs the money.. it's all a test. This is what I think anyways. I think he wants to see if we will follow his will and trust that he will provide. So Jesse's next check.. we're taking 10% out first off and sending it to Feed the Children or St. Judes. I hope it still counts since we're not going to church and giving there. I'm sure God doesn't have rules of where it needs to go.. as long as it's helping someone and you're giving with a good heart. I'm also scared of doing this because we NEED every penny...but that's where faith comes in to play. God says he will provide and he never breaks a promise.

Guess who is back!!

That's right ladies and gentlemen.. the New Kids on The Block have officially reunited as a band! Who would've thought?! It's been 20 years since their single "Hangin' Tough". 20 years??? I was just a baby when I started loving them! It's surreal honestly to see this happen with me having a five year old daughter of my own. They haven't announced any tour dates as of yet but you better believe if they come to Asheville or close by.. I'm going! I'm still up in the air about taking Ariel.. I'll have to download some songs and let her listen and she if it's "her thing". But I think it would be so cool to have her go and experience what I loved when I was about her age. And Lori... you sure better go with me! :o) Flashback! They have a new album coming out soon.. I'm excited to hear how they've matured as musicians. Joe & Jordan I have to say are hilarious! I was reading an interview in People magazine and they had me cracking up! Talking about how instead of posters & buttons they're going to be selling walkers and Geritol. lmao. I had to look up what that was but appearently it's a vitamin supplement for old people.

I can't believe

I just had to call poison control on my six week old baby girl! I was in the kitchen making Ariel & Clarity a snack and walk out to find Clarity in front of the swing sticking her finger in Emmalyn's mouth with honey on it! *gasp* I guess Clarity got in the fridge, found a packet of honey from KFC, bit off a corner and ate some, & didnt want to leave her baby sister out. I called the pediatrician's office first and the nurse gave me the number to North Carolina's poison control. I called them & explained what happened and they told me it's a small chance she'll get botulism, but the chance is there and to watch her for any signs. I looked up a website on infant botulism and the signs dont usually appear for 18-36 hours so I'll be keeping a sharp eye on her all weekend. Thank God Jesse will be home. It's usually treatable if she does get it as long as we catch it early, but I was reading about how they have to put them in ICU and on a ventalator and all that stuff, and it freaks me out. So lots & lots & lots of prayers that she'll be fine. Lesson learned: dont keep packets of honey in the fridge.. Clarity can get them and she likes to share. lol. I did have to call Emmalyn's doctor back and let them know what poison control said so they can document it. These girls are going to give me a heart attack one of these days, I swear!

Great news (I think)

Well Jesse heard back from Nantahala bank today. They were having to call an attorney yesterday to find out if it was legal for them to give us the business' statements from the months Jesse was there. Turns out.. it is! They are not only sending us the statements from January, February, March & April.. but they are going even further.. they are sending us copies of every single check from those months too! So we'll be able to take the statements and those checks and compare them to our statements from Macon. Nantahala actually offered to hand deliver this stuff to Jesse.. but I think he's just going to drive out to Franklin and get it next Tuesday since it would be faster. Tuesday is also the day Macon said our statements from those months should be in.. so we should be able to get rolling on this fraud thing early next week. Hopefully everything will be smooth sailing and we'll be able to fry that arse for his lies and deceit. Of course the pessimist in me is worried that he wrote checks out to Jesse and cashed them himself.... but I need to relax until I see everything. A part of me is so excited.. I hope this is finally the thing that knocks that man down. You can only lie for so long before it catches up with you & hopefully this is that time for him. We'll see what happens.

Well I only had Emiley to get on the bus this morning. Alley was supposed to be dropped off later by Chris but Lisa got really sick (it sounds like she has the flu) so she went home and Alley never came. Which is okay by me. I need to sit down & write Lisa a letter. This morning Emiley broke the leg on Ariel's robot. She threw it down and now the thing wont even stand up. I was beyond mad because we paid like $60 for it. I give Lisa a huge break not charging for Emiley.. but if that kid can't learn how to respect the girls' things & my house.. that is going to have to stop. I never even told Lisa about Emiley breaking the glass outside.. I'll probably include that in the letter though. She's either going to have to get these kids to settle down and behave or she's going to have to find other means of childcare. We really need the money though so I'm going to advertise and try to get some other kids during the week. That way it wont be a big deal for me if Lisa decides to just find someone else.

At least today I get to be with MY babies and my babies only. I wish it weren't so rainy.. we'd go out & play. At least it's warming up! yay! I think by early next week we'll have highs in the low 70's. I'm so excited! I love this weather! I took Emmalyn out the other day when it was warm and sat in the rocking chair watching the girls.. she seemed to really love being out in the fresh air. She stayed awake for a few minutes then just laid back & went to sleep.

Yay It's Friday!!! The weekend is here!!! I have no kids to babysit so we'll get to go to Asheville and pick up my shoes for Lori's wedding and also shop around for someone to hem my dress. I've also picked this weekend to do my spring cleaning. I told Jesse to get excited because it's spring cleaning time and he didn't seem too thrilled.. but we'll get it done :o) I hope. We also have to do our grocery shopping. You know that's always a blast.. lol.. and before I know it a new week will begin. Time just flies.

The girls

Well Emmalyn & Ariel had doctor's appointments this past Tuesday. Miss Emmalyn is growing at a rate no newborn should be allowed. I'm happy that she's growing great and is healthy but she's just getting so big, so fast! She weighed 9 lbs 12 oz and was 22 1/2 inches long at her check up. That's three whole pounds and 3 1/2 inches more than when she was born! She's doing great though and the doctor was very happy. I need to make her an appointment for her two month shots soon. I dread that.. they always make me worry when they are sooo little. She's six weeks old today so unfortunately my innocent baby girl will have to deal with that soon.

As for Ariel's check up... it was a great report as well! She's 44 inches tall (3 ft. 8 inches) and is 40 1/2 lbs. The doctor said she's pretty tall for her age and is up there on the growth chart. Jesse just laughed and said "well she didnt get that from her mama's side of the family". lol. Too true! She has 20/20 vision in both eyes and passed her hearing screen. She also passed all the motor skills and milestones for a five year old. Then the poor thing had to get 5 shots! That surprised me.. I knew she had to have them but I had no idea it was going to happen at her check up since all the pediatricians in Murphy always just made us go to the health department to get them done. Ariel did as good as can be expected. They had her lay down and I leaned over her and let her hug me and cry as they poked her legs. After each one she's look down at her legs and go "another?" and when they put the shot in she'd just cover her eyes and break down. It must have felt like forever to her. She got over it though and was smiling again once we were leaving (the promise of a sundae from McDonalds helped ease the pain.. lol) and she told the nurses to have a nice day. They all thought she was so cute and sweet. Of course that makes me a proud mama! So now we have her shot record and the blue piece of paper she needs to register for kindergarten! Amazing how fast it's sneaking up and getting things ready makes it even more real that it's gonig to happen soon. This is such a huge thing for me. Especially since I was always dead set on homeschooling her. But I think it's important for her to experience at least the elementary years. I can't keep her from experiencing life because I'm scared for her... I have to let go a bit... which I admit is hard for me! She'll be fine. I have to trust God with that.

Clarity needs her check up. I'm six months late on her two year. Oops! I'll schedule that probably for the same day Emma gets her shots. Then I'll be able to discuss this whole speech thing with the doctor. Clarity has hit all of her milestones just fine but she's just not getting this talking thing down. We'll see if she needs speech therapy. Some doctors start them right away, others wan to wait and see how they are talking at age three. But she's a bright little girl... hopefully things will just "click" for her soon and I'll be on here typing about how she never shuts up! lol.

and it begins...

Jesse & I are trying to get the ball rolling on this whole tax fraud mess. Jesse visited H&R Block yesterday and indeed the idiots (I hate even speaking their names) are trying to say Jesse made over $14,000 in a matter of months. Sooo... he called the IRS this morning & what we have to do isn't easy. Macon is sending our bank statements for January, March & April (I found our February one). Jesse has been battling with the bank the business has an account with for the statements from where he was a partner and signer on the account. The day the idiots removed him as a signer was the same day they locked him out and he was no longer working with them. As long as he was a signer, they should give him the statements for those months. I havent heard back from him.. he was calling the main office last time I talked to him to keep trying to get those statements. What the IRS wants us to do is file our taxes with what we think we made while he was working with them. It will raise red flags and we'll both get audited I guess. Sarcastic *yay*. We also have to fill out a fraud report to the IRS and they want us to go to the police as soon as we have our "evidence" together and file a report there too. Am I worried? Yes. Very. I'm worried we wont be able to get the statements from that bank.... I'm worried the idiots have covered their tracks well and somehow this will turn around and make us look like the liars. I hate this! Now we can definately expect not to get a refund for a very long time when we've so desperately needed that money. Oh well. I just pray this really bites those two con artists on the ass... Hard! I guess we just have to wait & see what happens...

Prayers

I just visited that message board a minute ago & found out some devestating news. One of the girls lost her four month old son to SIDS. This was back in July.. she's been MIA for a while.. but we just got an update from her. So even though it's been a while.. all of us girls that just found out are in shock & praying for her and her family. This is the second baby she's lost.. the first one was a daughter who was a part of a set of triplets. It's any parents biggest fear & worst nightmare to lose a baby or child... and this family is having to go through it.. for the second time. So please if you can.. say a prayer for them. I look at Emmalyn and I can't imagine her being here one day and gone the next with no sign that it was going to happen. My heart breaks for this family. It makes me want to go grab my babies and hug them and never let go.

Sometimes

The smallest things can change your frame of mind. That happened to me this morning. I was on the message board I always go to and I see one of the girls has a blinkie in her signature that says "Count your blessings.. not your problems". That was EXACTLY what I needed to see. To remind myself no matter what Jesse & I face.. we are BLESSED. Financially things suck. No denying that... but if struggling to make ends meet is our biggest problem.. we're doing good. We're all healthy, we have a home to live in, transportation, food in our fridge and our kids are well provided for.. but most of all we have eachother and our babies who even on their most difficult days make life a joy. Sometimes I get so stressed thinking of all the things that aren't right in my life.... that I forget to stop and praise God for all the things that are!

The pieces of my heart

Look what I finally captured!!

How nice!

The weather has been wonderful today. Well it's cloudy and supposed to rain but it hasn't yet.... and it's been nearly 70 degrees! Do you realize what this means? It means my kids who have been cooped up in this house all winter long were FORCED to play outside. I pushed them out the door. No, not really. lol. There was no forcing or pushing.. they gladly flew out the door on their own free will. It's getting them back inside where the forced part comes to play. Well Clarity gladly came in. I guess she was sleepy because she came in, ate a snack, went straight to the couch and crashed out. Ariel is just running in & out as she pleases. I'm actually making more of a dent in the mileage log so that's good news and miss Emmalyn is sleeping in my lap. I watched Emiley today. There was no school today.. AGAIN. I have no idea why but it seems the schools around here have an awful lot of days out. Which will be fine with me when Ariel starts! lol. I think I'm really going to miss that kid when she's gone throughout the day during the week. It will probably be more of an adjustment for me to make than her.

I dont think I have to babysit this weekend which will be great. I have a ton to do. We have to run out to Asheville probably tomorrow to go to David's Bridal & order my shoes for Lori's wedding. I need to find someone to hem the back of my dress. I have to keep chugging away at this hideous mileage log... thank God we wont have to deal with this again. It's been giving me a massive headache everynight I've been working on it. I only have September, October, November and part of December to go. *sigh* Dang IRS and their requirements!

Oh Emmalyn had her first trip out the other night! I finally got brave and let Jesse & the girls come grocery shopping with me late Tuesday night. It went amazingly smooth! Clarity sat in the front of the cart, Ariel walked, and Emmalyn was carried via my winnie the Pooh carrier pouch thing I wear. Clarity hated it! Emmalyn however, is quite content being close to me and being carried around. She snuggled up and stayed asleep the whole time.. and it was a pretty big grocery trip since we let oursleves run out of just about everything because we just couldnt find the energy to get out & get it done! But it wasn't so bad. I told Jesse I was terrified at the thought of having three kids.. I wasnt sure how I was going to do it.. but somehow it just seems natural to us. There really hasn't been much of a transition at all.. it's like we've always had three. weird. Great.. but weird! lol.

Focus on the good!!

Things are a bit stressful right now. The pressure is on to get these taxes done.. I have to do it. So I started doing the mileage book yesterday and was on a roll when I had to stop because the computer started acting up. That was ok.. I needed a break anyways. So the mailman comes & of course Ariel runs out with her bubbly self (she LOVES checking the mail) and brings it in. Something I got shocked the heck out of me as soon as I saw the writing on the envelope. It was psycho connie's (Jesse's psycho ex stepmom.. I call her an ex because in all honesty I consider his dad an ex dad). Anyways it said it was from Stoneage Technologies (the "business" if you can even call it that... Jesse used to be a part of with his ex dad. )Inside was a schedule K-1. A little late, yes?! Aren't all businesses supposed to have tax stuff to their previous employees by Jan 31st? I was furiuous. Not only because it's late but because I dont understand what it's saying. There are numbers like $14,000 & $23,000 on it. They sure as hell better not be saying Jesse made a ton of money. Jesse & I were talking and he's like 'Oh you know they probably screwed with the books and stuff while I was gone. This is their last chance to really get to me. After this we will never see or hear from them again". Which is what we want but we dont want to be screwed in the process. So what I'm going to do is put in all the satellite information (I do taxes myself) and Jesse's w2 from Biltmore and see what we owe or what we are getting back. Then I'll add the k-1.. if it messes up our refund or changes the result to us owing a huge amount to the IRS... we're taking it straight to a tax attorney. For one Jesse was totally out of the business in March and he sure as heck didnt make a huge amount of money during the time he was there. They can look at our bank statements from then and know this.. plus our credit card debt was starting to go up, up, up. We also have the tax stuff from the other places he's worked so that will prove he wasnt with them. Now I dont KNOW that they are trying to be sneaky, weird, or vengeful.. but with our past experiences with these loons.. we're being careful. So now I've really got to move my butt to do these taxes...cause if anything is fishy... those people will burn.. not us and we'll make sure of that.

Now onto the good.. the stuff that makes me happy to type about. Emmalyn is now 5 weeks old today. A day after her one month old mark she started smiling. Not the reflex smile.. I thought it was at first.. but as I kept doing my silly voice at her and laughing and she did a huge, beautiful gummy smile again! Of course I teared up... mostly because of happiness.. there's nothing better than seeing your baby (or any of your children for that matter) smile. But it was also bittersweet...every milestone she hits could possibly be the very last "first" I ever experience with my babies. Jesse & I have discussed another one in the future and we're up in the air about it but we're pretty sure we're done. We say maybe in five years but by then all the girls will be in school and we'll be moving on in life & will more than likely be too busy for another. I guess God & time will tell but for now I'm perfectly happy with my three angels.

What a day

Tired doesn't even begin to describe how I'm feeling right now. I think I could just crawl into any space and pass out. Emmalyn didn't sleep much last night... she fussed for a while and other times just laid there with her eyes wide open making noises. I think she was bored & didnt understand it was bedtime. lol. I woke up it seemed every hour. At 3.. I just gave up and pretty much got up for the day since the alarm was going to go off at 3:45. I got up and cleaned my kitchen & all the other things I should have done Sunday (Sunday was honestly and truly a day of rest for Jesse, the girls & I as we all lounged around and did pretty much nothing and took naps even though the house was in need of some tidying). We went to Murphy Saturday and the girls were so glad to have seen grandma & pawpaw, grandma & abu, and nanny & grandpa Jerry. Wish we could do it more often. We stopped by Jesse's friend Josh's place since he was on our way home and spent a bit of time with him, his wife Jamie, & their son Rylan. The girls and Rylan had fun playing for a bit and Jamie was glad to have me there... we always have fun telling eachother stories and having real adult interaction since we are both stay at home moms. So that was nice. Jesse called Rylan's name just to say hi to him and the kid looked up and did this little freak out. It was soooo funny. We were all cracking up..Jesse felt bad.. but Rylan didn't really even cry.. just got all startled and was fine after like two seconds. lol. I guess you would have had to have been there to see him to get why it was hysterical!

Anyways Monday morning & I was back at babysitting. Friday Emiley busted glass (not one but TWO of our glasses) in the flowerbed outside. I was livid! She was a total pain in the arse all day that day. Well today was Alley's turn. Long story short... the day is over and I'm so glad Lisa took her kids home!!! I'm going to have to make a list of rules and send them home with Lisa so she can drill them into her kids' heads. They sure as heck dont act like they care what I have to say sometimes. How many times a day do I have to tell them "Dont climb on the furniture.. it's for sitting. It's not a trampoline", "Get off of the counter", "Stay out of the laundry room". etc etc etc. I mean seriously. I know they dont do this at their place because Emiley told me Friday if they did the stuff they do at my house at theirs... Lisa would spank them. So they do it here because they know I wont touch them. UGH!

Oh mom I wanted to thank you soooo much for those binkys! Emmalyn has finally started to take them when she's super fussy or when she "thinks" she's hungry and they are a miracle worker! She goes right to sleep! woohoo! I've got some pics of her (and the other girlies of course) to post up on here but the camera is in the truck so that will have to wait until Jesse's home & I have the energy to do it!

one last thought... the other night I woke up wanting to kill Jesse. I mean I hated him at the moment. I had a nightmare that I found out he'd been cheating on me and OMG was I pissed off. lol. It's amazing how feelings from a dream can wander over into reality and stick with you. I got over it fairly quickly but ugh! This is like the third dream I've had like that lately. I think it's because someone I know is going through it. I know he would never... he knows I'd kill him. lol.

Some silly pics

My girls are too much!

Ariel & Clarity are a couple of goofballs! I just got done playing with them and they had me laughing so hard I was in tears. We were jumping on the bed (yeah I know not the best thing to teach them.. but you know what.. it was fun! I've been far too anal with them lately. lol), tickling, chasing eachother, & playing with Clarity's baby. Clarity would squeeze her baby and make it cry then say "uh oh", open her diaper, and go "ewwww poo poo!" and change the baby's diaper. Then she lifted up her shirt to let her baby eat. Jesse & I were rolling! You can tell our kids were raised in a house that hardly uses bottles! But anyways.. it felt good to put off housework & spend time with my two little girls that haven't gotten a ton of my time lately. I have to be sure to do it more often! I have the rest of my life to stay on top of chores... but they're only little once!

Jesse & I both got surprises in the mail today...yay! He now has all the stuff for his art project (which he's in the storage shed working on now) and I got Ariel's box from Kohl's. They had a great clearance going on about a week ago and I got her five pairs of awesome jeans (they're all so pretty and stylin') and a cute Candies top for under $70! I'm trying to get a jump on school shopping. Her jeans are a bit big (I ordered size 6) but I'm hoping she'll grow into them by the time school starts or at least by the time it cools off in the fall. Now I just have to do some shopping for shirts, get her some new shoes, & her school supplies and we'll be ready! I'm starting to get excited because I know she'll have so much fun (at least I'm praying so)!

Emmalyn has been having those crying episodes once to twice a day. I give her gas drops just in case she's in pain.. but I don't necessarily think that's what's going on because I can bounce her a certain way and she'll stop. I think if she was hurting.. it wouldnt be so easy. I just do my best to comfort her and we deal with it. I think I read somewhere that sometimes newborns do these crying fits as a way to release energy since they can't get up or do anything else to burn it off. I think that may be what's going on. It sure is tiring though. I hate hearing her cry non stop for like an hour! Especially when it's bedtime!

Miss Clarity has turned into curious George all of a sudden. The girl is always into EVERYTHING. Ariel just had to throw away an entire roll of aluminum foil because Clarity thought it would be fun to unroll it all over the kitchen. lol. She got into some lotion last night (not my new stuff.. thank goodness) and I just had to get her away from the germ x not two seconds ago. She just wandered out of the office so who knows where she's going to wreck havoc next. lol. She just better be glad she's so darn cute & has those huge puppy brown eyes that gets her off the hook soooo easily with me. Maybe too easily!

Nancy! Thank you sooo much!

The girls absolutely LOVED getting their box of goodies!! I of course loved my lotion (Bath & Body Works rocks) & the outfits for Emmalyn and stuff you sent for the girls was too precious! So thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

As you can tell in the pics below, the peeps were a huge hit.. Clarity couldn't stop (which is why her mouth is bright pink in just about every picture) and they absolutely adore the Easter cups and plates! I have to keep them washed because they have been wanting to use them everytime! What I really thought was too great... the cards from Mikey and McKenzie!! I saw those and wanted to cry.. and Ariel thought that was so sweet!!

Just wanted to let you know... you really made our day!