Prayers for Kayleigh

When I'm having those moments of feeling sorry for myself for whatever reason... I am gently reminded that there are those who are dealing with so much more than I am. Such as kayleigh's parents. You can click on the above image to be taken to her blog & read her story. Long story short she was born very premature weighing only a pound. She has weathered every storm and been in the hospital for 10 months. She gained weight, went through surgeries, and was well on her way home (when the doctors said she had no chance in the beginning). Unfortunately, this morning, something has happened. They think she may be braid dead. My heart is torn apart for her parents. They are strong in their faith in God, which helps because either way they know God will take care of them. But still this is absolutely devestating to them. So prayers are being lifted up. God will do his will. He knows if Kayleigh will survive yet another storm or go to be with him. He knows the outcome of this. We're all praying she shows these earthly doctors another miracle but if not, we pray that God gives her family strength and wraps his love around them.

I was having a bad day but now my thoughts are focused elsewhere. Even though I am worried about finances and finding a job... God knows the outcome of this, too. So I will keep saying my prayers and lay this at his feet. He will take care of everything. It may not be how and when we would like for him to, but his plans are the best for us. We just need to keep talking to him and take life as it comes. And always remember there are others that are having bad (or horrible or even the worst day of their lives)... and keep them lifted in prayer as well.

One of those Days...

I'm having one of those days where you have to force yourself to be happy. I hate those days. I don't have a miserable life, not by a long shot, but some days things just get to me and I feel down. I have prayed and asked God to help me with this down feeling & it is working. Jesse came home for a bit (which he never does) and that helped my mood a little. So God is at work on my heart. My main issue is I want a job... actually one particular job where I could work from home nearly 40 hours a week. I put in my resume and I'm playing that waiting game (but not holding my breath because I might possibly die if I do). I'm going to follow up on it Friday or Monday. I hate wanting something so badly and knowing it's a long shot. I keep praying. That's all I can do. I NEED a job. God knows this and he'll provide somehow. I have faith in that. I just wish I knew when & how. But I guess that's where faith steps in. I have to trust him and his ways. Stellan is still here... after having a 5% chance of living when he was only 20 weeks in the womb... and now he's 6 months old... that just goes to show that with God... even long shots happen.

Look What I Got Today

note: If you click on the picture it will enlarge. Ariel's wearing the black and white shirt and she has the "frizzy" hair she says. lol. It was raining that day, what can I say? Her hair has a mind of its own sometimes :o)

AMAZING NEWS!!!

The latest update on Stellan : Praise GOD he survived the surgery! No details yet but his mama posted that he was in recovery (still intubated). The surgery was much longer than they had planned and the one update we got that said his lungs and tissues were filled with fluid scared me, but GOD has let him pull through. They are nowhere near out of the woods yet and time will tell but when I saw the news that he made it out of surgery... that news alone, put me in tears.


The above is something I emailed to Stellan's mama. Today was a day to wear orange in Stellan's honor and to show support. We don't have a lot of orange around here, so I threw something together. Hundreds & hundreds of pics of people wearing orange and showing their support are all over her blog. It's really something to see!

But anyhow.. so far all the love & prayers are working so what shall we do?

Keep praying! Always praying....

A down day

I'm feeling blah today. So much is going on & my mind and heart are racing. Stellan (again this baby I don't even know personally) is in surgery. A risky surgery. Prayers are going up from literally across the globe. We have fallen in love with this little guy & we just want him to LIVE. The latest twitter update.. he's been in surgery for over 3 hours and the only bit of info his mom has gotten: there's a lot of fluid in his lungs and tissues.

The waiting is agony for me... I can't even fathom how it must feel to be in her shoes. Yet she is in a place in her relationship with GOD that she TRUSTS he will do what's best. We're all praying for Stellan to live and be healed, but only the Lord knows what is going to happen. He has a plan and we just have to trust that. It's hard. I'm not sure if it were one of my girls going through this that I would have such a faith. I'd probably be a horrible mess of emotions and not such a good witness for Christ. Jennifer (Mckmama) has taken this troubling time in her life to reach out to others and let them know God's love for them. wow. Simply wow.

I long for a relationship with the father...just like that. I will strive for it.

There are a lot of other things on my mind right now... but it pales in comparison to what they are going through. So I will take this time to just ask one thing. Pray for Stellan. pray for that family. Simply put.. just pray.

Spring? Hmmm...

Yesterday was gorgeous. Gorgeous, gorgeous, gorgeous! Bright blue skies, sunshine, 70 degrees. We took the girls to the playground at Ariel's school to give them some outside time and so we could enjoy the weather ourselves. Before we left, the wind started picking up, the clouds rolling in, and there was a bit of chill in the air. We ran by mom's place for a few mintues and headed home. When I got home, I checked the weather to see if any severe watches or weather were heading our way. We had a watch but it was nothing like I expected. I was expecting maybe a severe thunderstorm watch.. even a tornado watch... it was neither. Instead I see "WINTER STORM WATCH". Are you serious?! In April?! It's true! That warm, sunshiney weather has given way to cloudy, cold. They are predicting we could get between 1-4 inches of snow overnight tonight. How did this happen? I'm baffled & honestly a tad annoyed! This weather is a yo-yo. I'm sure my girls will get sick.. again. Maybe not. I pray not, but I'm kind of expecting it at the same time.

Oh yeah that watch has been upgraded... we are now in a WINTER STORM WARNING.

I'll be sure to take pics if we get snow. That way I can post the ones I took at the park yesterday & show you just what a difference... a day can make!

Stuff I Love :o)

Feed a child with a click!!

http://children.care2.com (there are also small tabs at the top of this page for other causes as well!)

http://www.bhook.com

http://www.freerice.com

http://www.hungerfighters.com

http://www.oneclickonemeal.com

http://www.thehungersite.com (there are also tabs at the top of this one to click to help causes such as breast cancer, children's health, literacy, the rain forest, & animals.. be sure to visit and click each one!)

I'll be sure to post more links later, but this is a good start! Vist & click! It only takes moments!

Lord Have Mercy....

I know there are starving children, babies, people in the world... but seeing it in pictures just brings a whole new realm of reality to it. I can hardly see through the tears. I was on facebook and joined a group where you can go to different sites and all it takes is the click of your mouse to help provide money or food or whatever. I'll post some of the links later so anyone who reads my blog can go click as well.

I wish I could save everyone. I've always been this way. I tell Jesse all the time if we ever got into some major money... I doubt we'd have more than we need, because I'd always be giving it away to help others. You wouldn't see me acting like a celebrity and dropping big bucks on a purse or clothes or stupid stuff. Not when there are babies out there... that are literally skeletons with a bit of skin on them. My heart aches. I look at my own precious babies.. healthy and happy. BLESSED. Thank you God.

Every baby, child, person deserves to be as lucky. We may not have much but I can't thank God enough for what we do have. I just wish everyone could have this...and I wonder why they can't. Lord bless those babies... bless those people... Lord.. have mercy.

Change of Plans

I've decided against going to see the New Kids in charlotte. For one $$$. Tickets go on sale tomorrow and we don't really have the money to spare for me to go off to another concert. Jesse's been great to me and let me blow enough on going to two. I'm happy with that. Then I started thinking about Jesse & Clarity & Emmalyn. I've been going to concerts and what have they been doing? Nothing really. Jesse & Clarity did go to the last one... but it wasn't exactly quality family time. So the guilt hit. I just figured out that Carowinds is in Charlotte... for the money I would spend on going to a concert... we could all go out there and have family time at an amusment park. A day of fun with my family vs. 2 hours of watching the New kids... hmmm.

I'm sorry guys.. I'm a fan and all... but my family wins. No doubt about it. Maybe we'll go out there at the same time the concert is (June 2nd)... and somehow run into them or something. Who knows.. could happen :o) lol

But I'm looking forward to telling Jesse about this. He wasn't thrilled with me going to another concert, but he wasn't saying he didn't want me to, either. I think he'll love the new plans. We need a family getaway. It's been too long. Way too long.

Uh Oh... here we go again!!!

The New Kids on the Block have posted their summer tour dates! I just called Jesse asking which would be better... Atlanta or Charlotte. I think I'm heading to Charlotte! lol. Now I just have to see if I can con my mom into coming with us again to help keep an eye on Emmalyn and Clarity. Jesse would probably want to come to this one since they are being held in outdoor amphitheaters for summer. Dear Lord don't let it rain or worse... severe weather! I'm already talking about this like I am going. It's not for sure, but I probably will.

I have such an awesome husband. He doesn't tell me I'm crazy or that we have better things to spend our money on (in all honesty, we do, but these concerts are just so much fun for Ariel & myself. We have such a blast). He just goes with it and lets me do my thing.

I never posted about the Greenville, SC concert. It was a lot of fun! Well Clarity was a handful & half (which is why she wont be going to this next one. lol) She wasn't bad, she enjoyed herself but was over the whole concert thing rather quickly and preferred to jump up & down in the seats or stare at the other concert goers. The concert was on St. Patrick's Day, so she had tons of costume type stuff to stare at on people. We had several people ask our permission to take pics of the tiny new kids fan. lol. One girl came up and was just loving talking to her before the show started and then handed Clarity her green, sparkly clover sunglasses. So miss claire bear thought that was cool. Ariel also had a blast as usual! She didn't move from her daddy's side... she was a total daddy's girl that night. Our seats were very close and we had an awesome view of the guys but of course... braindead me... brings my camera but doesn't check my batteries. They were dead! I was so mad at myself. I told Jesse if I got to touch one of the guys that would make up for it. Well.... they ran right in front of us! Jordan grabbed my hand and I got to touch Donnie, Danny & Joe, too! I never dreamed I'd ever be that close to them. lol. Soon after that, Clarity was just done being there and was asking to go back to the hotel, so we left. Way early. There was probably at least another hour and a half left, but I was fine with it. My daughter is more important than a concert. But I'm hoping this next one I go to (God willing) I will be able to see the whole thing! Mom had kept Emmalyn for us back at the hotel and when we got in, she was already asleep! I'm glad Emma was good for her!

So anyways that's how the second NKOTB concert went. And my husband (who is the best husband in the world) just lets me gush and scream and relive the feeling of being that pre- teen that was just head over heels for these guys. But he always knows... he has my heart :o)

You've Got To Be Kidding Me Monday

It's a monday all right.

Yesterday Jesse was routed to Brevard (a good 1 1/2 - 2 hours away). He forgot his battery for the drill and charger at a customer's place. He figured maybe we'd just buy a new one...he looked it up and it would cost us almost $200 to replace what he had left... you've got to be kidding me.

He leaves at 6 am this morning to head all the way out there and picks it back up. It figures that today he was routed 5 jobs right here close to home (which never happens. I mean we're thankful but he gets a massive workload on the one day he has to drive to go pick up that stuff he left yesterday). You've got to be kidding me!

Ariel tells me her ear is "bugging" her on the way to school. I tell her if it's still bugging her after school, we'll go get it looked at. Not even 2 hours later I get a call from her teacher to come and get her, she's been crying non stop with her ear hurting.... you've got to be kidding me!

We get to urgent care and it's official... kiddo has an ear infection... she hasn't had one since she was a year old... you've got to be kidding me!

I go to walmart and try to find a spot next to a cart corral thing so I can grab a cart, get the three kids in and go.... every spot I find has an empty cart corral (I know the guys get paid to take the carts back to walmart.. but come on.. can't you leave just one or two in each place for people like me?)... you've got to be kidding me.

I go to pay rent for the first time (which requires me to deposit money in my landlords account since she lives far away). She gave me the routing number not her account number so I couldn't do it... arg... and we can't get ahold of her to figure it out to give her the rent money... you've got to be kidding me!

It's 8:09 pm and Jesse still isn't home from work. He left at 6 am this morning.. you've got to be kidding me!

It wasn't a bad day... just one where you get a bunch of curve balls you didn't expect. But such is life. A roller coaster... up & down. up & then down.

On a happy note... I just looked at Stellan's blog and so far they've figured out a way to bring him out of SVT. It's not permanent.. yet. Keep praying my friends! GOD is AWESOME! Stellan was on the verge of having his little heart give up... and GOD worked another miracle. I firmly believe Stellan is supposed to be here. But if I'm wrong and Heaven forbid, he has to go home... he has brought so, so, so many closer to God through prayer. He truly is an angel.

Another happy note.... Ariel's ear isn't hurting right now. I gave her motrin earlier today and she's had one dose of antibiotic and she seems to be doing rather well! Much, much better than the lethargic, crying, very sick kiddo I picked up early from school. So yay!

More happy news.. tomorrow is a teacher work day! I don't have to wake up early! And Jesse's meeting day has been rescheduled for Wednesday instead of tomorrow, so he may be able to sleep in a bit with me! woohoo!

Oh yeah.. one final bit of happy news... My mom and dad watched the girls for me while I ran and "tried" to pay rent and pick up ariel's prescription. They fed the kids (and me!!) dinner and made a plate for Jesse that I brought home. I don't have to cook tonight! YAY!

Silence... Blissful Silence

That's what is going on in my home as I type this. All I hear are the "tap. tap. tap." of the keys on my keyboard (oh and Clarity's little snore.. she's sound asleep right next to me). Emmalyn is crashed out on my bed too and Ariel.. well she fell asleep in her room after dramatically going in there and locking the door. Phew. What a day.

All 3 of the girls have been picking at each other and just acting like.. well.. total girls...

"Don't touch me", "Quit doing that!", "Leave me alone", "Moooooommmmm!!!", "I'm going to hurt you", "Make her stop!"

So yes I could run through the house in leaps and bounds jumping for joy that they are all in dreamland at 2:15 pm (but I won't because that might wake up my sleeping beauties).

I really should take this time to go downstairs and clean up.. and I think I will... but just for a moment I wanted to jump on my blog and share my joy. That I am not hearing fighting at this very moment... that I am not playing referee or yelling at any kids to settle down... that I don't feel stressed...that I am peaceful. And what is so amazing to me is how these girls can push me so close to the brink of insanity and then when they fall asleep... I forget how mad I was and everything is once again.. right with the world. Only God could make that happen!

and let me just add one more thing before I go start my quiet housework:

I LOVE THESE GIRLS!!!!

Random Cute Things

It's Friday!!

and I am oh so thrilled! That means if I can just get Emma to sleep in a teensy bit.. I can get some extra zzz's. sweet! I love not having to wake up miss Ariel and rush around trying to get her to wake up, get dressed, get things together, and rush out the door. I love my weekends. Love them, love them, love them! I'm already counting down to spring break. Just a couple more weeks!

Let me tell you a story. Because I'm in the mood to tell a story. It's funny (at least I think so. Others may think I'm a cruel mama but you can think what you want). I have given Clarity AKA Krill... another nickname. As if she needed anymore.. but anyhow. She is now my Chicken Little. Why? Because she constantly seems afraid of something. Mainly three things. Giants, monsters, and ghosts. At night she is afraid of these under the bed, in the closet, in the bathroom. However she is always afraid of our staircase. Day, night, it doesn't matter. There is a giant at the bottom of the staircase that tries to get her (she just informed her daddy & myself he lives in the laundry room which just happens to be to the right of the bottom of the stairs). She will not go down it alone and she will not be downstairs alone. Poor chicken little. So this is a conversation we had today:

Her: Mama I thirsty...
Me: Well go on downstairs and get your drink
Her: But mama.. you have to come
Me: Why?
Her: Because I afraid!
Me: aww are you my chicken Little?
Her: uh huh. I your chicken Little. No wait. I your chicken big!

That just cracked me up. She's a trip! Of course Jesse & I have tried over and over to convince her we have no giants, monsters or ghosts in our home. She doesn't believe us. It doesn't help that we have Ariel telling her the opposite. She loves to see Clarity freak out. Ahhh... sisterly love!

Stellan

My heart & my mind haven't strayed far from this baby boy. I keep going to his mommy's blog for updates and holding my breath as I wait for the page to load... praying I don't see the worst news possible. Praise God he is still here... still in SVT... but hopefully soon they will find the right drugs to bring him out of it and he can go home a healthy, happy baby. He's so precious... just looking at his pictures melts me. As sick as he is, he just seems so content and beautiful.

I have spent a lot of time giving extra kisses and cuddles to my own little angels. Most days, my life is chaos. Absolute chaos. Rushing around getting kids ready, taking Ariel to school then picking her up later, picking up, doing dishes, feeding everyone... there are just not enough hours in the day. But you know what.. we are not promised tomorrow... and I thank GOD for every second of this chaos I call my life. Every, single second.

Please Pray

He's a gorgeous little man, isn't he? I don't know him. I don't know his mother. But one of the girls online posted a prayer request for him and my heart has been aching for his family ever since. He has SVT (supra ventricular Tachycardia) which is a very fast heart rate. He was diagnosed with it in utero and his mother was told he would not survive but God had other plans and he was born a healthy, baby boy. He has recently been admitted into the PICU with SVT again and they are trying everything to get his heart back to a normal rhytm (I read on his mommy's blog it has been staying in the high 200's and he's gone into v-tach a few times). So please, please, please keep this baby in your prayers.

My girls have been driving me bonkers with whining and not listening... and then I read something like this and I want to fall to my knees and just THANK GOD they are alive and healthy enough to drive me crazy.

Keep all of those who aren't so blessed in your thoughts and prayers!

**By the way, if you click the pic at the top with baby Stellan, it will take you to the blog where you can check for updates on him!**

Holy Smokes!

Bad blogger! Bad! A month.. well almost.. has gone by?! wow. Time flies & you can't do a dang thing about it. It's a proven fact.

Today is going to be a busy day for me. Clean, clean, clean. How can 3 kids possibly cause as much chaos as a mini tornado?! My home goes from clean to a wreck in .01 seconds. It's crazy!
Hopefully I can get everything done that I want to and surprise Jesse with a clean, organized home. I say this as I have a one year old hanging on to my leg whining to be held.... lmao.

I'll update more later... my arse needs to get off this computer to get anything done!

Quick Update

wow so much has gone on....

1. Mom, dad and Patrick found a nice little house and have moved out. I'm sure they are VERY happy. lol. I love them and would definitely live with them again if it had to be done.. but I do think the place we are in is just too small for a family of 8 to peacefully coexist because no one had their own space!

2. With mom and dad leaving... Jesse and I had to find a more affordable place of our own. We found a house (a very, very small house) in our price range and were going to go for that. The guy that showed it to us was dead set on us seeing a condo he also had available. We weren't going to.. we were fine with renting the house (even though it meant fencing the backyard so the girls wouldn't get into the creek, buying cabinets for the kitchen because it had NONE, repainting the kitchen because it was a hideous yellow, and being squished into it.. it was as I said before.. very small). But the guy was persistent.. we should see this condo before we made a decision. We went to see the condo... and now... we are in the process of moving into it! It's perfect for us. So God looked out for us yet again! The moving is driving me up the freaking wall. I hate it. Hopefully by tomorrow we will be done.. but there's still so much left to do.

3. we found a car to buy.. a toyota avalon.. and we're getting an awesome deal! Im excited to be able to drive something besides that gas guzzler Chevy silverado Jesse bought....I'll be glad to get 30 mpg instead of 14! lol

I better get back to moving and cleaning. Just wanted to post a quick update!

Happy First Birthday Emmalyn Reese!!!

I knew it would be hard but I had no idea it would be THIS hard. My youngest... my baby... one year old. It's bittersweet. I love seeing her grow. I love seeing her learn. But as I've been packing away baby clothes, I'm realizing this is it. No more babies (unless God has other plans... but Jesse and I are pretty set in just having our three girls). But even as I'm sad that my baby is getting older, I'm also excited. She's doing so much and she's such a trip. Like her sisters, she never fails to make me crack up! She's still practically bald with no teeth.. lol... so she still looks very babyish even though she's been running around on her own two feet since she was 10 months old. I really need to take some recent pics and video. It's been so long since I've done that. Too long.

Happy First Birthday Princess!!!! We love you so much and are so glad you're a part of our lives!!!!