Thursday, October 9, 2008

A bit of a revelation

Is exactly what I had driving around this morning. I was looking at the mountains on the way to Sylva and the leaves are starting to change colors. I must say, I love fall. It's my favorite time of year. Everything was just so pretty and for a minute... things were okay. There was no credit crisis, no all time high unemployment rates, no debt, no worries. It was just me admiring the beauty of these mountains. Then I began to pray.. asking God to forgive me for doubting at times that he will take care of us and just thanking him for everything. I was listening to Steven Curtis during this and Speechless was on... what I'm about to type is so powerful to me...

" So what kind of love could this be that would trade a soul for a cross?
And to think you still celebrate over finding just one who was lost.
And to know you rejoice over us this God of the whole universe,
It's a story that's too great for words."


At this moment I realized God does love my family. We have been put through a lot this past year. And maybe I'm just finally realizing that God does these things to shake me up. It seems when life is smooth sailing.. I dont spend time with him as I should. Things get rocky and I come running asking him to help. That's tough to admit. But.. it's true. So for now I'm going to take it day by day.. and leave everything to him. I'm going to try to strengthen my relationship with him and grow. I'm sure God gets frustrated with me like I do with my kids.. you try to lead them the right way but they want to fight and struggle. But there comes that point where they learn.. and they listen... and you're so proud of them and you just love them to no end. It's taking me a long time but maybe I'm finally getting to that point with God. Where I'm willing to listen and learn and trust. It's hard to fathom that God loves us as much as I love my girls...but I know he does. That is an amazing love.

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