I'm just a little black rain cloud...

Or a big one... lol... hovering over the Moore family. Ugh. That's so what it seems like lately. That we have this massive cloud hanging over our heads and it just won't leave us alone.

Jesse's job is being terrible lately. I'm talking really bad. They just gave everyone a huge paycut. Where he was making $20 and $35 for out of area service he now makes $5 and $20! Rediculous. That barely covers the gas the boy has to put in the tank to go there. Then he gets his check today. And oh boy were we in for a surprise. Not a good one either. They never mentioned to him he had to fill out on RA Form on certain jobs. So he hasn't. Well now they are giving him chargebacks for this. We have to pay $60 (when the job only paid around $35 or 40 so isn't it ironic.. we are paying his company for him to work). God only knows how many more of these we'll end up paying for but we know better now. A little late. His $950 paycheck got cut down to $600. Between that chargeback, the stupid insurance where they take 10% of his check a week (I told him tomorrow we are getting his own insurance.. the amount the company takes is unreal and they never even gave him proof he has general liability), and the supplies he had to purchase. God what a mess. All the techs for that company are about fed up and wanting to quit. I'm going to contact dish directly and see what it would take for Jesse to work for them directly and get rid of this money grubbing middle man. So pray for us. We could really use it.

On a happier note, we got approved for a $6,000 line of credit (I have no idea how we got this with our cards being as maxxed out as they are) but I'm thankful. This will let me consolidate all of our credit cards onto one bill.. no more juggling 7 credit card payments at a time. So this should help and it will clear our cards and should help raise our score back up. So that's always a nice thing to happen.

I hate sounding like a woe is me person. I'm very thankful for what we have. It's been a long, difficult road since dealing with his dad again but we're going to come out of it okay. I have faith we will. Maybe I'm not praying enough or trusting God enough lately. Maybe this is all just the devil's way of trying to get me to doubt. I can't let that happen. I have to remain positive and faithful. It's the only hope I have.

I keep having dreams about Jesse's dad. We all know how much I love him.. lol. He's haunting me and I'm not sure why. I try to keep him as far from my thoughts as possible. The last thing in the world I want to see in my dreams is that jerk.

I did have a wonderful dream about going on a vacation to Hawaii last night. It was so nice and it's making me have a desire to go someday. So instead of Jesse and I paying to renew our vows and have a wedding ceremony, which we never did, I'm going to convince him that I'd rather us save up and take a great vacation like that in the next few years! That would definately beat a wedding in my eyes.

Oh and to end this long, probably boring entry on a good note. I won three Six Flags Georgia tickets off ebay last night for $50! woohoo! So Jesse and I are going to take the girls probably in the next few weeks (or maybe in October when the park doesnt close until 10 pm) to Six Flags to celebrate Jesse and Clarity's birthdays. We need to have some fun like that, desperately. I'm so excited and already counting down!