Still a secret

My blog and BOL are the only places where I can openly talk about how I'm feeling. I'm going to be 12 weeks tomorrow and still haven't told my family that there is going to be a new addition to our home. Too much has been going on with everyone else. My cousin just had her baby a month ago, my grandpa has been going through chemo and radiation weekly for the spot of cancer found in his lung.. the list goes on and on. I just dont feel anyone is going to be happy for us. So we've just been keeping this to ourselves and enjoying it in our own way.


Well enjoying may not be the right word! lol. I had a good few days (not perfectly normal feeling but normal enough) and then today blah! I haven't gotten sick yet although my body has sure tried to do it without my consent! I hit the second trimester in a week so I'm praying this slacks up a bit. Everyone in my "due in" forum is all "I never got sick!". Well lucky for you. I can't help but be a little jealous as I'm feeling all alone in the nausea, diarrhea and puke parties. It drives me bizerk when I read that everyone else has felt fine, never gotten sick, yada yada. I guess I must be taking it for them. Lucky girls.


I keep finding all these cute glitters saying "pregnant and sexy" "pregnant and beautiful". I have to laugh! I'm so not feeling either of those! Between the sickness, bloating, face breakouts, those aren't quite the ajectives I'd use to describe myself at this moment! Jesse bless his heart is such a trooper. It can't be easy to deal with me being so sick, emotional, and unattractive but he's wonderful. God bless him.

Jesse may be working out of state next week. His manager is looking into how much he'll get paid if he goes, so we can decide if it's worth it or not. We seriously need the money and I told him if it pays well, to go, that the girls and I would be fine. I'd miss him like crazy and I know the girls would too, but it's not definate yet. I'll cross that bridge when we get there.

Well I have to go make the girls some lunch. We've baked chocolate chip cookies together and eaten a few.. now it's time for something nutritious! I'm hoping to clean out the girls pool and let them go swimming today since our heat index is already 103. Yikes! We may just stay in the A/C depending on how I feel.